Freaking Out!

[Moulder86]

Ok I didn't know where I should put this so you can all have it........

I am COMPLETELY freaking out, I've just realised I'm due to return to work 2nd March and that's not that far away. I don't know what to do, I don't really want to but know I can't afford not to. I've been applying for other jobs but haven't heard back from them, my car isn't road worthy at the moment and I need it to get to work because I work 15 miles away from my new home!

I haven't sorted anything out about childcare and I really don't want to because I hate the thought of someone else looking after my lil man!! I don't want to leave him

It's silly but I'm at the point of crying every time I think about it. I'm in a right pickle and don't know where my head is at. Wish someone could slap me round the face and make me wake up and sort things out.

xxx

 

[cupcake]

oh hun i can totally relate
i had to send my man to daycare at 6.5 months because i was taking him to school with me into the lectures and i just couldnt anymore. i would cry and cry about it. i know exactly what you mean by letting someone else look after him. i thought what if he looks for me and cant find me. i breastfeed only how will he take a bottle. he nurses for comfort what will he do when im not there. i cant tell you how many times i nearly backed out. But then my husband said to me: please i need you to go back to work we cant take the financial strain, and i knew that i just had to do it. i wont lie its not easy but this is his second week in daycare and he has taken to it like a fish in water. he did have trouble with the bottle at first but hes getting there. I just want to send you tons of love and tell you i know how hard it is. You just have to find a place you like ( as much as you can), and keep telling yourself you are a wonderful mom and your baby will be fine without you for a few hours. It does get easier.

 

[embo216]

oh hun, have u got any family close by who can help you get your head around things?

I know how u feel tho, I dont think I could leave Lily and go back to work.

Hope someone can give u better advise than me!!!

x

 

[1st_baby]

Oh hun im going through the exact same thing , im due to get back to work on feb 1st and although I found a daycare im now finding myself not sleeping because of all the same worries you have , its so hard to think of my lil man being away from me , but finicially i have no choice im going on tuesday to spedn 2 hrs with the babysitter and see how it goes ..

 

[Moulder86]

Thank you girls,

I've got family close by but I tried talking to mum last night and bless her I know she can't help it but she's one of these who is a bit hard to talk to or get advice from. Just said she knows it's hard and she was lucky (my nan looked after all of us when she went back to work). Nan said she would but I live too far from her to drop max off n pick him up or vice versa.

I think I may have found a couple places to look at and call but I'm trying to decide to either go back part time (same financially as I am now (I think neway)), which means I get to spend more time with Max and he spends less time in childcare or I go back full time (hopefully be a bit better financially)........

xx

 

[nikky0907]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm due to go back to work part-time in July and have no family nearby so Lola will be starting nursery.

Good luck with your search!

 

[embo216]

hey hun, Im in chelmsford too, what places are you looking at? x

 

[Moulder86]

Hi embo,

I actually work in Maldon so I'm looking up that way for something. Because I've just moved to Ramsden Heath (was in Gt Waltham) I just jump on the A12 to get to Maldon so don't go through anywhere to drop him on the way. And theres not many places in Maldon either!!

xx

 

[coz]

i just went back to work yesterday but im only doing weekends so my partner can look after him luckly my work needed someone part time but i did have to drop from account manager, cant you just do part time do you have a partner to help ?

 

[lady3]

I'll be going through a similar thing when I go back to work in April. I've decided to go back part time, at least for 6 months and see how I feel. I'll know if I want to work more or not then.

I was looking for a childminder as I didn't want her in a big nursery, but a friend has just put her 10 month old in nursery and she says it's lovely. They do a lot of things that she wouldn't/couldn't be able to do if she was at home with her, such as make messes with play-do, play with a parachute, water play, etc. It's made me change my mind and think I do want to put her in a nursery as I think she'll have a load of fun in it.

 

[Linzi]

Im feeling the same hun, I am going back in 4 weeks and totally dreading it.

Cant really offer any advice but We'll get through it! Believe me, it'll be bad for us but our LOs will probably love nursery.

xxx

 

[Carolyn]

i know exactly how you feel, i had to go back to work when she was just four months old. nearly killed me. still hate it now. it feels so wrong that i have to pay someone else to look after my own daughter.

 

[princess_bump]

oh stacey so sorry your freaking out chicken, i'm not suprised honey, you've got a lot of things going on atm, i think you need to make a plan of action, and look into a few things of... what if i do this?

what about the pub close to you, could you do a few nights in that local pub and maybe your mum/bec could have her? or what about working from home part time doing so work for your current employee? have you spoken to them recently? don't worry chicken it will be ok, we'll sit down and have a good chat darling and ill attempt to help x x x

 

[Moulder86]

Well I've asked to go back part time and I'm waiting for a reply but they did say before I left that this would probably be ok doing Tuesday-Thursday. I'm looking for a job closer to home and something with few hours but it's hard.

As from working from home Car, I can't my work isn't something that I can do from home. Working in a pub part time wouldn't get me enough money to cover my needs. I just know going to work and leaving my lil man for 7-8 hours a day is going to KILL me expecially as it's not with famliy or anything either. Thanks Car, I've been trying to think things through logically but I just want to cry all the time!

Thank you all though xxx

 

[princess_bump]

i no honey, you're doing so well remember that and it will get easier, max is a gorgeous boy and is doing so well and thats all your doing x x x

 

[smartie]

I know where you are coming from. I was due back to work on 5th Jan but back in Nov I decided to extend my mat leave to the full year as I couldnt face leaving her yet. I am now due back at the end of March but luckily due to the amout of holidays I have can work 2.5 days a week on full time pay until mid Sept.

We are actually off looking at Nurseries Mon, Tue and Wed this coming week and we have a list of questions to ask each one! We decided on nursery over a childminder as I didnt like the thought of not knowing where my child was if she was with a childminder if they decided to go shopping or someplace. Also, at a nursery, if a member of staff goes off sick there are still other people around to care for your child.

 

[Welsh_mum_to_b]

i know exactly what you mean!! i am due back to work in March!! how rubbish. i cant afford not to work but will hate leaving my little girly. hardly spend any time without her. i miss her when she is in her cot never mind while im working
i take my hat off to all ladies that do this already!
xx

 

[Moulder86]

I agree Welsh Mum I think it's great how all you mums have already managed to do this, it's going to be difficult but I know it needs to be done. xx

 

[princess_bump]

sweetie i agree, well done to all thoughs mummies out their already doing this, it really must be so very hard x

 

[Wobbles]

No advice but

I'm stil between returning to work but only 16 hours a week or staying at home but we're not sure if option 2 is one yet. When we split up and before I was redundant I worked out costs of childcare I guess with you its cost of travel too etc ...maybe something to think about?