Frustration!!! ADHD

[superp123]

Holy cow! I've just had the longest 4hrs (with breaks) with my first grader, Chris and 4 stinky little math assignments!!! He's been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and is being treated for bipolar. I'm so tired of doing the same damn thing every time. Every day with homework is like instant replay from the day before. It always plays out the same. Homework out of the folder, I sit down to start homework with him, he writes his name, and then starts the whining, tantrum, arguing, and general resistance. Most of the time he'll pretend that he doesn't know how to do it, and when that fails he'll resort to all out 3yr old type tantrums screaming "I don't wanna do this!!" "This is boring!", and the like.
It all gets so damn exhausting sometimes. ARGH! How many time outs can we give? I even took away 'chips' tonight. (chips are earned and accumulated for privileges and rewards) Nothing seemed to work. I even tried to ignore for a bit, but then he only gets louder and more outrageous.
To help matters my hubby has a different opinion on the matter than I do. I think that after reviewing his work with him, he should be able to independently complete a math sheet titled "Minute Math". Meaning it's meant to be completed in one minute or less during class. Well Chris refused to do his schoolwork today and so he's got homework this evening, including minute math, 3 stinking sheets of it. Tonight he's tried every tactic in his arsenal to avoid doing these math sheets. Hubby, just keeps trying to help him. Which is nice... but Chris knows this work and has had my help since coming home. The whole thing is all an act tonight. So hubby's help is actually contradicting me. His math tonight is all review of the past three weeks... of which Chris and I have worked hard to master.... tonight though he's just NOT going to do his work and that's that. And hubby keeps making things harder by coddling the boy. He thinks he needs help and I think he needs to stand on his own two feet. Now, I'm reasonable enough to know that Chris probably has picked up on this and is in fact playing one side for the other. BUT My hubby is totally oblivious or just being downright disrespectful. I'd prefer the former but who knows.
All and all, nothing was accomplished tonight and now I've got a tension headache. I quit and sent him to bed early.


P

 

[Eve]

I do not have much homework issues with my son but I do have terrible troubles with him My son who is 7 has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and ODD. I bring him to the psychologist finally on the 27th because we need serious help in our home! My son had to repeat kindergarten due to missing over half the year from them kicking him out due to behavior. He has been on Ritalin and Biphentin and both did nothing for him other than give him the bad side effects. He is now in Grade 1 finally and now has to travel on a later bus because of his behavior on the regular bus

He is violent, mean, nasty, vindictive, and down right hurtful most days. He will curse at me and my OH, hit us, kick us, has severely damaged his bedroom (which was all renovated when we bought the house in March) it is unbelievable. I do not know what to do with him. We do time outs, take things away, sticker type charts, positive reinforcement, etc... and nothing helps! I have a baby coming in December and I seriously do not know what I am going to do! Most days I am in tears a few times each day I feel lost!

 

[carrieanne]

oh i know it well only mine is 12 having tantrums like a 3 year old thats hard seeing a grown boy just fall apart cus they cant or dont want to do it patience is a virtue believe me with adhd but im right with you sweetie god i could go on for hours its hard to get in to there heads isnt it often i look at brandon and think where the hell did that come from and what the hell do i do now !

 

[superp123]

Thanks girls. It's just nice sometimes to hear someone in the same boat. I don't know anyone else with a child with ADHD, not personally anyway. Had another rough day today... I've noticed more since the weather is changing again. Just wine and tantrum all day. I just want to tell him how bord I am with it all. LOL Not that I would but damn I think about it sometimes.

baby maybe- good luck at your upcoming apt with your son. Getting Chris in with a psychologist was one of the best moves we ever made. We tried a couple drugs on our own with the help of Christopher's GP but they weren't right for him. At times the side effects, and emotional effects of the drugs were worse than him w/o medication. Now we're on a cocktail of straterra(ADHD) and abilify(bipolar), but not before we went through hell to figure it out. Even then we still have good days and bad days. Ho hum. But I have to say he's in a better place now than before. Little steps of progress right. PMA

carrieanne-Patience is a virtue, that is the truth. Maybe more for us at times. Although, I know what you mean. Watching them struggle sometimes is just like torture. Now if only kids came with special manuals at birth! It could expedite things a bit for everyone.

Hope you both are well and that things are peaceful in your home tonight.
P