funny sex stories?

[Firestar]

I've had to be really careful with leg cramps all pregnancy, get them frequently, normally I can cope, but it's really not funny when it happens during sex -

Earlier in pregnancy, my fiancee went down on me, all was going great until the point of orgasm, at which point I got a sudden massive cramp in my calf....... needless to say it totally killed not only the orgasm, but any chance of anything else happening!

 

[Piper84]

What a great thread!

Me on all fours (how else at 33 weeks I ask you ), we finish up and DH moves away, I slowly collapse onto my front and am literally stuck there, unable to move onto my side because of useless, cramping inner thighs and general discomfort. DH actally had to roll me over onto my back so I could get up. I felt like a beached whale and wouldn't have been surprised if someone had started spraying water at me to keep me cool

 

[lilliesmummie]

What a great thread!

Me on all fours (how else at 33 weeks I ask you ), we finish up and DH moves away, I slowly collapse onto my front and am literally stuck there, unable to move onto my side because of useless, cramping inner thighs and general discomfort. DH actally had to roll me over onto my back so I could get up. I felt like a beached whale and wouldn't have been surprised if someone had started spraying water at me to keep me cool

 

[Squishy1982]

my hubby is lucky as i get really horny when pregnant. we are still dtd even with bad back muscles.
about 5am monday morning I woke him up feeling a bit naughty and we broke the bed, ended up on the sofa bed unable to sleep lol

 

[jennyxx]

not really a sex story but we were getting ready to go to bed. He was already in bed and I was putting oil on my body, I asked him "do I look sexy pregnant?" his reply was "well you look weird as you have normal sized legs and a massive body"...........at least he's honest lmao and now calls me Mrs Little Bottom Half

 

[mnonie]

Hehe I'd forgotten about breaking the bed, I was sat on top of OH when we heard a popping noise we carried on as neither of us really wanted to stop, next thing we know the beds gone though - now figuring there's nothing we can do we carried on .
I loved my dads response to "dad can u fix this metal bar it's from the bed", " how on earth did u bend it that much?" Well there's only one answer for that "dad u sure u want to know, I'm guessing you know I'm not the Virgin Mary" at the time I was 13 weeks pregnant .