Funny stories about our OH's and TTC

[Macwooly]

Dachsundmum - one is supposed to let their doxie molest them

But seriously you just serve cats

Well 3 cats, 4 dogs and 4 fish in this household and all I need is a mini me and mini DH to complete it

Great, so the cat just serves as Porky's sex toy? Lol.

The cat is a sexual surrogate for the non-species specific perverted desires of Porkshop.

 

[Indigo77]

The cat is a sexual surrogate for the non-species specific perverted desires of Porkshop.

 

[Indigo77]

I love cats! No more cat-bashing!

My cat, Don Juan-Casanova-Fabio-George used to try to provide for our family.

He would go fishing across the street and bring us fish.
He hid a big live lizard under my pillow just for me.
He tried to drag a snake into the house.
He even caught a hummingbird and left it on the welcome mat of our front door.

Our 60 lb dog is afraid of our 6 lb cat, Alley Cat....
She hides and waits for Lola to enter a room, and then she pops out of hiding and pounces on her....
She keeps Lola in check...whenever Lola starts acting like a fool in the house..she runs over to Lola and smacks her in the face a few times...

When our cat Buddha was alive, we never had to worry about all our pets' food and water bowls...
She would let us know when they were nearly empty and wouldn't leave us alone until they were full again...

We never had to worry about setting an alarm clock, because Buddha would wake us at 7:30 am every morning without fail....

 

[Shelley71]

I love cats! No more cat-bashing!

My cat, Don Juan-Casanova-Fabio-George used to try to provide for our family.

He would go fishing across the street and bring us fish.
He hid a big live lizard under my pillow just for me.
He tried to drag a snake into the house.
He even caught a hummingbird and left it on the welcome mat of our front door.

Our 60 lb dog is afraid of our 6 lb cat, Alley Cat....
She hides and waits for Lola to enter a room, and then she pops out of hiding and pounces on her....
She keeps Lola in check...whenever Lola starts acting like a fool in the house..she runs over to Lola and smacks her in the face a few times...

When our cat Buddha was alive, we never had to worry about all our pets' food and water bowls...
She would let us know when they were nearly empty and wouldn't leave us alone until they were full again...

We never had to worry about setting an alarm clock, because Buddha would wake us at 7:30 am every morning without fail....

Oooooh, Indigo, I knew I loved you for a reason!!!! TOTAL cat freak here.

Cats are awesome. They don't have to be in your face all the time, but when they want attention, they are so sweet, cuddly, adorable, and loving. There's no drool, licking or panting. There's no walking them or bathing them. They are self-sufficient. Oh, and sooooo soft and they purr when you love on them.

 

[Indigo77]

I love cats! No more cat-bashing!

My cat, Don Juan-Casanova-Fabio-George used to try to provide for our family.

He would go fishing across the street and bring us fish.
He hid a big live lizard under my pillow just for me.
He tried to drag a snake into the house.
He even caught a hummingbird and left it on the welcome mat of our front door.

Our 60 lb dog is afraid of our 6 lb cat, Alley Cat....
She hides and waits for Lola to enter a room, and then she pops out of hiding and pounces on her....
She keeps Lola in check...whenever Lola starts acting like a fool in the house..she runs over to Lola and smacks her in the face a few times...

When our cat Buddha was alive, we never had to worry about all our pets' food and water bowls...
She would let us know when they were nearly empty and wouldn't leave us alone until they were full again...

We never had to worry about setting an alarm clock, because Buddha would wake us at 7:30 am every morning without fail....

Oooooh, Indigo, I knew I loved you for a reason!!!! TOTAL cat freak here.

Cats are awesome. They don't have to be in your face all the time, but when they want attention, they are so sweet, cuddly, adorable, and loving. There's no drool, licking or panting. There's no walking them or bathing them. They are self-sufficient. Oh, and sooooo soft and they purr when you love on them.

Exactly...Dogs are like permanent toddlers...I love them, too...but they're a lot of work...

 

[dachsundmom]

My apologies!

 

[Shelley71]

My apologies!

No worries! I still love you too!

 

[Macwooly]

I adore cats as much as dogs but cats are less work

 

[Indigo77]

My apologies!

You are forgiven...

 

[Indigo77]

Ok, so this really isn't a funny story, but my DH hears my stories about what goes on at the Bump Cafe, as he calls it....and asks me stuff like...

So, was Despie on today?
Did you remember to ask Wooly about Lola's paws?
Any Porkchop stories today?
Anyone get knocked up today?

And if I am telling stories about someone.....he remembers people in an odd way...

DMom....She's Porkchop's mom, right...the adopted Korean midwesterner that poisoned her family and started a kitchen fire?

Wooly....She's the ex-vet tech with four dogs, teddy bear husband, well-endowed, and is an excellent cook?

I can go on and on....I just find it funny.... the tidbits that stick in his mind....

Melly is the Melbourne hostess-with- the- mostess that has to deal with MegaBitch...

Eva is the Kiwi-Yankee that lives in AZ and shoots guns and has a mini-zoo and a former preemie....
Etc....

LL, of course is Winnie-Phoebe Georgia girl....

 

[dachsundmom]

 

[Macwooly]

Indigo

 

[Junebug_CJ]

LOLLL too funny Indigo, I learned more about everyone just reading your DH's recap I'm amazed at his memory! My DH can't even keep my RL friends straight unless he's spent a LOT of time with them

And for the record, cat person here (no cat smiley).

 

[Indigo77]

Natsby is the Brit sculptor who lives in Spain with her temperamental boyfriend, and who got butt-fingered by her chiropractor...

Sarah is the Canadian spa owner with the house-husband...

Etc, etc, etc....

Yes, he has a great memory....

Cats rule! Literally...

 

[cebethel]

Oooooh, Indigo, I knew I loved you for a reason!!!! TOTAL cat freak here.

Cats are awesome. They don't have to be in your face all the time, but when they want attention, they are so sweet, cuddly, adorable, and loving. There's no drool, licking or panting. There's no walking them or bathing them. They are self-sufficient. Oh, and sooooo soft and they purr when you love on them.

My cat Mr Peter is in my face all the time. He even has to come in to the potty with me

 

[Indigo77]

Fabio does, too. Fabio likes to watch the toilet flush....Then he takes a drink...

 

[cebethel]

Mr Peter thinks he is the king of the castle..............who am I kidding, he is

 

[Shelley71]

My cat Mr Peter is in my face all the time. He even has to come in to the potty with me

Hahaha! Well, yeah, I guess mine does follow me to the bathroom, kitchen, everywhere else. I think I wrote that while they were off sleeping somewhere minding their own business.

 

[NorthStar]

We were trying to a few months ago (back in the good ol' days where sex was purely recreational rather than procreational) and I didn't want to do it in front of my dog so we'd shut the bedroom door - cue a frenzy of howling, barking and door scratching until the door was opened

 

[dachsundmom]

We were trying to a few months ago (back in the good ol' days where sex was purely recreational rather than procreational) and I didn't want to do it in front of my dog so we'd shut the bedroom door - cue a frenzy of howling, barking and door scratching until the door was opened

Well, since we're going down this road...a few months ago DH and I decided to DTD while DD was upstairs taking a shower and we forgot to put Porkchop in his crate. Suffice to say, DH ended up getting humped by the dog while he was humping me, lol.