Future sister in-law pregnant while we are struggling...

[SATINDOLLS1]

Hello all...this is my first time posting and I just need some advice/opinions on whether I'm over reacting or not. Long story short, my husband and I have been trying to conceive for two years now and recently have starting fertility treatment. I made the mistake of sharing these details with my future sister in-law (who lives very far away). Well, a couple of months later she had apparently had gone of BCPs and was bragging to me about how she has a perfect 28 day cycle...THEN last month I got a text from my husband letting me know that they are pregnant. I'm not going to lie; it felt like a huge kick in the gut. All I could do was muster up the nerve to congratulate them both and tell them how happy I was and very excited to be an auntie (which I am). She then went on and on about how she can't believe 3 months after going off BCPs she got pregnant and how she was doing, etc. which I didn't ask about. She also went on to let me know how difficult this must be for me and to please be honest with her! I mean what the heck!? I wasn't going to be like, "yes I am very envious of you and it's very painful". I just reiterated that WE are very happy for them and left it at that. Then every week like clock work she checks in with me and asks how’s the baby making going and I just ignore her and text about other things. We are not judgmental but I think the thing that made us the most upset is that they are getting married in 5 months and they couldn't wait to get pregnant until after they were married. They are older than us and I think it just felt like a race or something. Also, they are super religious and we are not so much so we just both felt like they were being hypocrites. I don’t know…I’ve been very polite to her and would never want to make her feel badly about being pregnant but I just felt like it was all rubbed in our faces and is continually even though I thought she would take a hint when I ignore her. I feel like I just need some space but I’m a nice person so I keep replying but keep it short and non-personal. If anyone has experience with this type of situation I would love to read your thoughts on the matter…thank you!

 

[liz1985]

Hey Hun. I don't have experience exactly like yours, but I think anyone TTC can understand the emotions you go through when other people are pregnant, especially those close to you. I know it feels like it but I'm sure the didn't purposely get pregnant to upsett you, but she is being a little tactless in how she's going about things now. Maybe they thought it would take much longer to conceive so came off BC hoping for a honey moon baby, and maybe she feels unsure how to act around you or what to say to you knowing your circumstances. I had to tell my best friend I was pregnant a month after she mc and it was the most awfull thing I've ever done. I felt awkard throughout most of my pregnancy with her as I knew she was still TTC and I didn't want her to feel I was rubbing it in or that I was excluding her.

Maybe you could call/text/email whichever is easiest and just explain how hard it is at the min, and make it clear its not that your not happy for them, it's that your sad for you, and could she leave the baby talk alone with you just for a little while.

I'm sorry not amazing advice but hope things happen soon for you, and you enjoy being an auntie as well. X