Gender Disappointment a Thing?

[Gonzadroit]

I'm trying my hardest to understand this... I really am. But when Trying to Conceive I see it as so incredibly selfish to be upset over gender, to the point of depression? Almost makes me want to cry for those babies.

I just came across the forum and I am really trying to not pass judgment because I've never been in this situation. I can see someone being bummed out, but flat out depressed with anxiety and etc. I say it's all blessings.

Agree? Disagree? I'm so curious. I was tempted to post on that thread, but I didn't want to be rude or seem unsupportive.

 

[donnarobinson]

Well to be honest I think no one has the right to judge anyone and gender disappointment is a real thing. .
I have 3 boys and with my last pregnancy I badly wanted a girl. . I cried my eyes out when i found out he was a boy.. granted a hour later I was completely fine and over the moon to he havig another healthy baby and I'm so glad hes here. I adore having all boys. I wasnt flat out depressed but I was disappointed not that I was getting another boy but the fact my dreams of a daughter were over . Do u think people chose to be upset? And as for crying for these babies you are acting like there not wanted or something. . Every one is entitled to their own opinion but when it is something you have no idea about you couldjt possibly understand.. its easy to say youd never be disappointed when you have no children or one .. or noth genders. .

I absolutely adore my boys and If I ever have any more I would want a girl but I no this time I'd be fine with another boy as I actually love having boys . Doesnt mean I wouldnt feel the tinies pang of disappointment if I was to have another boy

 

[3boys]

I think lucky for you that you’ve never experienced it and I hope you never will. It’s not a way that anyone every wants to feel and to call someone selfish for something you don’t understand is harsh.

 

[ClairAye]

Yes, it is a real thing and not something anyone wants or chooses to happen but sometimes it does. No one can truly understand it unless they have been through it and we have no right whatsoever to judge those who are going or have gone through it. I haven't been through it but I can sympathise with those who have because clearly they did not choose to feel like this.

You didn't comment on the post but you made a thread saying it is selfish etc instead of putting it in a comment which isn't really any different.

 

[Rachellou]

Well to be honest I think no one has the right to judge anyone and gender disappointment is a real thing. .
I have 3 boys and with my last pregnancy I badly wanted a girl. . I cried my eyes out when i found out he was a boy.. granted a hour later I was completely fine and over the moon to he havig another healthy baby and I'm so glad hes here. I adore having all boys. I wasnt flat out depressed but I was disappointed not that I was getting another boy but the fact my dreams of a daughter were over . Do u think people chose to be upset? And as for crying for these babies you are acting like there not wanted or something. . Every one is entitled to their own opinion but when it is something you have no idea about you couldjt possibly understand.. its easy to say youd never be disappointed when you have no children or one .. or noth genders. .

I absolutely adore my boys and If I ever have any more I would want a girl but I no this time I'd be fine with another boy as I actually love having boys . Doesnt mean I wouldnt feel the tinies pang of disappointment if I was to have another boy

Sorry to go off topic but my little boy is named CJ xx

 

[Rachellou]

I would just like to say that nobody should judge another woman for her feelings.
For example someone that doesn’t have children and who is struggling to conceive wouldn’t feel that disappointment because they just want a baby so badly they really don’t mind the gender.

However, a lady that has a few of the same sex and desperately wants the opposite sex may feel disappointed if she finds out she’s having another of the same sex. Granted these are both completely different scenarios but a woman is entitled to be upset if the last child she has doesn’t complete her family in the way she had dreamed.

Same as countless negative tests every month is upsetting to a woman that dreams of her first baby.

Lets use this forum to support each other as that’s exactly what it’s for much love xxx

 

[J.D.]

So this is a thing I've taken a while to learn:

What seems relatively minor to you may be the worst thing that happened to someone else.

When the worst thing happens to you, it tears you apart. It doesn't matter if someone else thinks it's a bad thing. It still tears you apart.

I've struggled with this kind of thing since my daughter died. People complaining about their kids being difficult, while mine is in an urn. Genuinely wanted to punch some of my dearest friends. But there's no joy in walking the earth resentful of others. And if I wasn't going to talk to people who didn't know what it was to lose their child, I wouldn't have many friends.

It takes a bit of grace, but I promise that either learning to ignore complaints you consider trivial, or being generous with your sympathy even when you don't understand - it'll make life better.

 

[donnarobinson]

Sorry to go off topic but my little boy is named CJ xx

Aww how lovely
Mine is a Craig junior we always call him cj tho x

 

[Shanelley]

I've been through this with my now 4 year old.
I had to have counseling while pregnant because i was so worried I'd have a boy that I struggled to connect with my LO.
I ended up having a girl.
But I was so deeply terrified it wouldn't be.
So I'd have been an absolute mess with aboy.

4 years later and TTC gender doesn't matter anymore

 

[Gonzadroit]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and putting things into perspective for me! I didn't mean to offend anyone and apologize if I did.

Your stories are so touching.