Gender disappointment even before finding out?

[Sweety21]

Hello Ladies,

I am just 7weeks pregnant and haven't found out gender yet (obviously). But, the second I told my mil I am having baby #2 she said a boy would be lovely. I was so angry but, just told her that I will be happy with any gender.

My mother also said something similar but, she also suggested figuring out gender and to abort if It's not a boy because, someone told her that I can have only 2 c section. I was obviously very angry at her. And already feeling pressure to have boy.
I had same pressure with first one but, we were over the moon when my dd was born.

I know I would be happy with anything but, just can't deal with my mothers who are making my pregnancy difficult.

 

[Bekah78]

Wow. So sorry you got that response. A child of either sex is a blessing.

We hoped for a girl but it's a boy, but despite not being what we hoped for we can't wait to meet our little man. At end of the day we just hope he's healthy and that's all that really matters.

My mum had five girls and my aunt had four boys. Just goes like that sometimes.

 

[Sqwidge]

Is there an option of you just not finding out?

 

[BabyLuv88]

I have 3 girls and pregnant with number 4.... I really want a boy and i would be so upset if its a girl bcoz i think its my last but no matter what the gender is youll love it either way:

 

[madseasons]

Hello Ladies,

I am just 7weeks pregnant and haven't found out gender yet (obviously). But, the second I told my mil I am having baby #2 she said a boy would be lovely. I was so angry but, just told her that I will be happy with any gender.

My mother also said something similar but, she also suggested figuring out gender and to abort if It's not a boy because, someone told her that I can have only 2 c section. I was obviously very angry at her. And already feeling pressure to have boy.
I had same pressure with first one but, we were over the moon when my dd was born.

I know I would be happy with anything but, just can't deal with my mothers who are making my pregnancy difficult.

I see that you are from Japan, so am I safe to assume it's a cultural thing with your MIL/Mother? I lived there for 4 years so I know that the older generation "prefer" boys.

First, it's the 21st century. You MIL/Mother can not dictate what YOU do with YOUR body and baby. Only you can. The pressure from family can be too much sometimes, but when it comes to your immediate family, it's just that: YOUR immediate family and your OWN kids to raise. Your MIL and mother raised their kids already, they need to step back out of your business when it comes you your children.

My recommendation is that if you do find out, keep it between you and your husband/partner only because that is all that needs to know.

I preferred a specific gender, but got one of each and I am ace with that. When it really comes down to it, it's MY baby and healthy ones are all that really matter in the end.

 

[Sweety21]

Thank you ladies for your support.

Bekah, that is what we both are hoping for. The baby should be healthy and that's what matter most.

sqwidge, we can opt for that but, waiting for so long to not find out is just not my thing. I am impatient kind of gal.

Babyluv, exactly my thoughts.

madseason, yes it is cultural thing. I know I can totally shut them down but, we need their help when I will have deliver this child and hence can't be rude with them. However, I do like idea of finding out gender and not sharing the news with them. Once the child is here no matter what they will love it. Thanks for suggestion.

 

[madseasons]

madseason, yes it is cultural thing. I know I can totally shut them down but, we need their help when I will have deliver this child and hence can't be rude with them. However, I do like idea of finding out gender and not sharing the news with them. Once the child is here no matter what they will love it. Thanks for suggestion.

Well I really hope things get better for you hun! It's different here as a lot of births happen in hospitals (I had to have a repeat C-section) so I only need my husband there for me.

I pray that it all works out for you and that you ignore them and enjoy your pregnancy and new baby, regardless of it bits

 

[Sqwidge]

I would go with finding out and not telling them.

 

[psychochick]

I'm from China and I understand the culture of thinking that boys is better, although I don't personally have that problem, but some very traditional Chinese people can be like that. And I just wanted to tell you that it's not "rude" to tell ur mom and mil that they were over the line with their comments. Especially if you consider the fact that you want their involvement in your children's lives, it may be beneficial to draw the lines earlier rather than later. In this aspect, I do have personal experience in as my own parents can be overbearing. Our culture often discourages conflicts but I found it more effective to just be honest instead of feeling upset inside and not confronting others about it. It helps no one to noy talk about it and most of the time it gets worse. That's just something I wanted to say after reading about ur situation

 

[Sweety21]

Thank you ladies. I made my decision. I am not going to tell them about gender. Whatever situation arise I will fight back for my child. Lots of luv and happy and healthy nine months to you ladies.