Gender disappointment support thread!

[cosmicgirlxxx]

I have deceided that I am going to book a private gender scan for 16 weeks. I need to know and cant wait until 20 weeks, its just too long and I'm too impatient.
Fx for a pink bundle, not long to wait until I find out! x

 

[pixeldust]

Just found this great article:

https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/04/mom-of-boys/

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

That's a great article x

 

[pinklightbulb]

Hi ladies :wave: I guess I've landed here because I wanted a girl and this is my last baby and he's a boy. Self-explanatory really I'm getting over it slowly... but wonder if I will ever be truly over it.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

hey pinklightbulb

This is my last baby too, I have 4 boys already.
I'm only 10 weeks but going to have a private gender scan at 16 weeks.
I'd like to say that you do eventually get over it, but as much as you love your boys there is still that piece missing isnt there? I'm dreading finding out this time as I know its my last chance. Acceptance is difficult and disappointment comes all too easily x

 

[LovingLimes]

I'm glad I found this thread. This is only my first baby so I was really surprised how disapointed I was when they said Girl. I realllly wanted a boy mainly because my mom and sister and I dont have a good relationship and never got along with women as well as I have with men. I don't know how good of a mother I can be to a girl and I feel like she will hate me. I was looking forward to having a mommas boy...who I can hug and love on his whole life. I feel like girls are sometimes difficult to love and most usually have weird relationships with their mother. I'm not very into girly things at all so I am really just pretty scared. I know I will love it no matter what but it is so hard for me to accept, I feel like the boy I have pictured has disappeared and honestly and scared to have another baby because I can't imagine raising two girls. My husbands brother has three girls and they are very cute but I am scared mainly of teenage years and above. Hopefully I will get over this and learn how to give my daughter what she needs from me and hopefully she will love me and we will understand each other.

 

[pixeldust]

Glad you bumped this thread, I had to come back and say that wow... things sure can change after your baby is born. In the height of my severe gender disappointment, I felt resentful of the baby boy growing inside of me. I had trouble even touching my stomach or looking in the mirror. I couldn't go into baby stores because the rows of girls dresses seemed to mock me. I felt overwhelming envy and jealousy of other women having baby girls.

And then he was born.

And he consumes me. I held him in my arms last night and cried because I just love him so much it hurts. This little man, the little boy I didn't think I wanted because I'd preferred a girl... I would do anything for him. I've spent 5 days stroking his hair and watching him sleep and I couldn't care less than he's not a girl, and that I won't ever have a daughter, and that I won't get to buy dresses, and that my family won't get a baby girl to spoil.

It does change when they are born, believe me

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

Congratulations pixeldust. Your lo is gorgeous.

4 weeks til my private gender scan, I'm really nervous, maybe a bit in denial too.
I did a gender maker test, it came out pink, I know they are for entertainment but it did give me some hope.
Fx for me please xx

 

[LovingLimes]

I think it only took a day or two before I got over my serious gender disapointment. While I still wanted a boy...I am very excited to meet my baby girl and love her so much already. I started to think about how it would feel if I ever lost her and it would hurt so much. I think my feelings just stem from having a teenage girl, but I figured I will enjoy the moments until something comes up.

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Pixeldust - I feel the exact same with my girls.....cant believe i cried at them now being boys - but i still feel absolutely devastated that i dont have a boy.

Its so hard to explain and it goes deeper than someone saying - oh i would love one of each etc

i HATE feeling like i do but even now i get really jealous when people say they are having a boy even friends and family - i sighed with relief when my sis had a girl because i wouldnt have to deal with being so jealous - how awful is that!!

its on my mind all the time that i will have one last try and im so scared that the baby will be a girl and that my last chance has gone and i have to deal with the disappointment all over again.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

I feel exactly the same Rachie x

 

[wantingno.2]

Hey girlies,

Wanted to ask your advice as I think you all understand more than anyone else does. I have my anatomy scan in one week, all along I've been not going to find out sex, but the close it gets the more tempted I am. I have 2 boys and a stepson, this is our last baby so if we don't get a girl it's something I'll never experience.

My other dilemma is I'm hoping for a csection this time and if they ask if I would like sterilisation too then this is something I do want BUT obviously this would be me definately not having anymore (not that I want anymore) puts a big full stop to any girls though!

I really don't know what to do, I know that I'll be thrilled to bits with my baby on the day whichever gender it is. It's really getting me down trying to decide.