Gender disappointment

[ccuthbert]

I don't find out for another month or so the gender, and yes, a healthy baby is most important. Both boys and girls are a blessing. But I have always wanted a daughter since I was young. When I found out my first was a boy I wasn't sure but was okay with it because I knew I wanted a second child anyway. Now that I have him, I am so happy he is a boy - he is the best thing that ever happened to me. He lights up my life and makes me smile and laugh daily. I never would have thought a boy could be so loving and close. I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. But, I still can't get that dream of having a daughter out of my mind. I am trying to trust God and know that He will bless me with what is best for our family and what is meant to be. I try to open up my heart to having a second boy but I just worry I'll be crushed if it's not a girl anyway. I know I'll get over it and will love the new baby regardless of the gender but how do I let go of the dream of having a girl? How do I stop myself feeling jealous of all the people that have little girls? It's not that I don't love boys, but want to experience a girl too. I am 37 and it took 20 months to conceive this one, so even if it's possible to get pregnant with a 3rd I'm not sure I would want to.

 

[musicmomma]

I think this is a very honest post and I can relate. I won't be disappointed if I have a boy, but I always wanted a sister and I want that for my daughter. I think that you are completely right in saying that God will bless you with what he thinks is best for your family. That is exactly what I say to myself all the time. My best friend is pregnant with a girl and I had a hard time at first, but I just sit back and think, hey maybe I will have a boy and he will be the greatest gift I have ever had. I think putting excitement into each pregnancy whether its a boy or girl is very important. So if you find out you're having another boy then try to think of all the new exciting things to come. For example, your son will have a life long playmate and loving brother. Brothers stick together and that can be something very very special

 

[Amour]

Aww hun.. Hugs!!!

I've just been through this but the other way round, the best advise I would give and in hindsight I would have been the same - is to throw out any pre conceived ideas, thoughts, visions; and I know its easier said that done but I would just think about all the good things a second boy will bring.

I only found out yesterday my dreams of having a boy were over for now - but I definately am coming round to the idea and I am getting excited. I just painted a picture of what a imagined my life would be, my son would be, my family towards my son which were just imagined. I trust that God knows best, and is putting the baby in our lives that we need and/or should have.

But I do understand and admittedly, I will probably go through similar disappointed if next baby (God willin)g is a girl; I've never really dealt with boys before apart from my Husband and really wanted to experience love between me and a boy.

 

[mandaxx]

As you say - trust in God. What's meant for you won't pass you. The grass is always greener on the other side and you will regret wishing away your little boy if it does turn out you have one. Very honest post though, as wanting one or the other is a natural feeling that you can't really help xx

 

[jenniferttc1]

I think you might be disappointed at first, but I think all the feelings will completely go away once bub is here, if he's is a boy.

 

[detterose]

I definitely hear you. We're pregnant with our first and I longed so badly for it to be a girl. We had 4 scans to confirm it. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby. It was just hard to let go of the dream of having a little princess. We're already financially struggling preparing for this baby, so the dream of having a second is in the very distant future. And even when we do try, I think I'd be too scared incase we end up having another boy. That sounds horrible like I don't like boys, that's not the case, but I don't think I could emotionally cope with the idea of continuosly having babies until I got a girl. As gender disappointment just in this pregnancy made me feel like the worst human being, I don't think I could bear feeling that way again.

 

[Ava Grace]

Hi Hun I totally understand you feel. I have to say first time around I didn't care about the sex and swayed towards boy as I knew dh preferred a boy but I have just found out I'm having another boy and I have to admit I'm gutted. I only ever wanted two children and I always imagined that I would have a girl! I feel horrible saying it but I can't help the way I feel x