Gender neutral or not at all

[petite ping]

I was reading an article on the resurgence of gender neutral names with celebrities naming their little girls James, Wyatt, Maxwell etc...

Are these really gender neutral? Or are they masculine? Girly names for boys doesn't seem to be so popular. How many boys do you know are called Evelyn or Florence, Camille (Camille is very French and I admit, I know quite a few) or Jocelyn - all these names are Gender Neutral.

As a mother of two little girls, I admit that it annoyed me quite a bit as I felt that the message that it was sending that girls should be more like boys or should hide behind a masculine name as being girly is considered bad. Tomboyish girls are good, girly boys not good? Is this really neutrality? It reminded me of the first lines of the madonna song "What it feels like to be a girl".

I can understand that some parents want to impose a gender neutral upbringing on their children and in some ways I agree. My kids have cars, trains and fake tools and dolls and princess toys. I buy their clothes indifferently in the girls and boys sections - though if I let them choose, they prefer clothes with flowers and hearts.

I want my daughters to grow up, aware of their femininity, of the differences between women and men (even if I refused to acknowledge that there is a difference, society will highlight these differences as they grow up) and to learn how to get ahead without having to become a bloke in a dress. I want them to think that being a woman is not a disadvantage and should be something to be celebrated.

Is it only me that thinks like this? Any opinions?

 

[ellahopesky]

Personally i don't really think theres much behind it, just that maybe they wanted to honour someone special or just liked the name. In the case of celebs maybe some are just trying to stand out/gain attention (i.e North West . But, each to their own and people should call their children whatever they like. Tbh in this day and age i don't think it matters too much. Some names to me are clearly boys names (i.e. James) and others to me are girls names that i personally wouldn't use for a boy, but are deemed unisex (i.e Taylor, Ashley). However i wouldn't really bat an eyelid if someone else chose to and don't think its taking any feminism away from a girl by giving her 'boys' name.She decides who she is, her name doesn't decide for her. x

 

[tulip1975]

Names are what society deems them to be over time. My mom's name Carol was traditionally a boy name that actually means "masculine", but obviously its usage has changed.

In the end, we are imposing a name on our babies without regard to who they will turn out to be as a child or as an adult. A girl will not be any more or less feminine if she's called James rather than Mary. Her personality will be her own.

 

[Delphine11]

I agree with you, OP. I read that article too, and I thought the same. The examples given aren't gender neutral, they're masculine. And yes, I think that's potentially sending a strange message to girls.

There's nothing at all wrong with gender neutral names, but they really should be gender neutral eg Kim, Leslie, Jamie, etc.

Actually, I don't agree with the idea that much. I think it's just a trend. As previous posters have said, a name doesn't dictate a child's character. A school friend had a lovely feminine name yet hated it and insisted on being called Harry!

The best thing to do is give children a name that suits them, and give them the freedom to grow up to be who they really are, without trying to impose your opinions and wishes on them.

 

[minties]

James...neutral? Jamie, yes, James...not at all.

I have a female cousin called Dylan and I still do a double take and think "that's a boys name" every time I see it on facebook.

Jamie, Shannon, Charlie, Sydney, Casey, Jessie, Bailey, Cameron etc are more what I think of when I think neutral.

 

[Zephram]

Have to agree with the PP that a lot of these names are not neutral and are in fact the result of parents trying too hard to be different and unique. Which in my mind makes them a bit ridiculous.

True gender neutral names are ones like Alex, Taylor, Jessie, Jamie, etc.

 

[rwhite]

I think they are masculine names and that it's all a bit trendy at the moment. Interestingly, you don't see little boys being named Rose, Emily, Catherine etc etc.

I don't mind some of them - Maxwell for example, it's grown on me. But James for a girl? Ugh.

 

[cherrylips100]

I think it's just a trend rather than there being reasons behind the surge in 'unisex' names. I don't think there is anything wrong with using a typically male name for a girl and vice versa, they are just words after all but I don't personally like many of them.

 

[wannabemomy37]

I also don't see anything wrong with using typically "masculine" names on girls or vice versa. I personally love boyish names on little girls - Maxwell, Logan, Mykal, Kyle, etc.... I actually met a little girl named Sebastian!
I also think it's fine for boys to be called "feminine" names also, like Leslie, Kim, Kerry, etc (but I'm just personally not a fan of those names regardless of gender).
Gender-neutral names are what society claims to be neutral after getting accustomed to certain names. Maxwell, for instance, was otherwise known as masculine until a celebrity used it on a girl, and now falls under "neutral".
Names don't identify who the person is in the sense of male/female and doesn't make them gay, either...just like pink and blue are interchangeable

 

[petite ping]

While names may not define their personality, the way people treat them will. Imagine how much teasing a boy would take if he was called Stacy or Sarah or how many times a little girl would have to say "James is not a boy's name" to the other kids in her class.

While I'm not saying that gender neutral names are bad when the names are truly gender neutral, the impression I get is that this trend is not gender neutral of but more giving boys names to girls (I haven't read of girls names given to boys).

 

[AngelofTroy]

I hadn't thought of it that way, I know a few boys with 'girls' names though, I've met a male Vivian, Erin, Sasha, and Sherry

 

[adr75050]

I no an Ashely that is male and my friends husbands name is Marion (pronounced Mary-on)

I really love the use of gender neutral names for both. I am actually seeking suggestions for such on another thread. But just my preference. I like the use of it...my husband isnt quite sold yet.

 

[wannabemomy37]

Stacy is actually considered unisex also. It truly depends on so many things, but I feel like this is a topic nearly as touchy as pink=girl and blue=boy, which clearly isn't the case...or that boys play with trucks, blocks, mud while girls play with dolls, animals, tutus...

to each's own, really....

 

[Tattoo]

I actually really like the name James for a girl. I don't think I'd ever use it, but it's just a name I really like in general! And I love Stacey for a boy. I don't like it for a girl, though!
My DD has a unisex name, but with the spelling that's generally considered female (Robyn).

 

[stiletto_mom]

Like with other gender political topics, it seems progress often begins with women. Much like wearing pants/skirts. Within out society, women have been able to wear pants without discrimination much earlier than the acceptability of men wearing skirts.

I feel like it's the same with names. Although it's not "fair" at the present moment, girls using boy names are more commonly accepted than boys using traditionally female names. But in time, it will probably follow suit.

Then there are always those who don't like the idea of switching gender names. But it's pretty much exactly like clothing. It's a personal choice and preferences as long as people don't put others down for it.