Gender reveal party rant!

[kaylacrouch93]

Well as a lot of you know i found out i am having a lil boy & im planning on doing a gender reveal party. now here is the problems im having..

1. No one is telling me if they are coming for sure or not if they don't tell me how do i know how much food to buy.

2. I said kids are more than welcome to come but i ask they be on their best behavior as my grandparents can't handle a lot of noise and if they have been sick in the past 2 weeks please don't bring them if school aged ( flu season sucks!)

Well one lady who asked if she could bring her kids i told her what is listed in #2 and now she ain't coming?!?! Is it rude that i asked that? I know she has no problem getting a baby sitter. All of her kids are school aged & everytime i see them i have to treat my hair because of lice. I just feel like she shouldn't have gotten mad over me asking them to behave and not bring them if they are sick. She is the only parent that has a problem with it.

 

[Krissykat1006]

I don't think your request were outrageous....my son has special needs can be loud and if someone gave the reason you gave because of your grandparents I would have no problem sending my gift or meeting up with you later. And as far as sick kids, you would THINK that would be a given, but some people don't think about spreading germs.

 

[wish4baby]

I hate how people don't seem to RSVP anymore. I think its so rude, I always send in our RSVP by the specified date, I guess people just don't realize how stressful it is for the planners :/

For the second issue, I, personally, would be slightly offended if someone asked if my kids have been sick/ specified not to bring them if sick - only because it seems like common sense, and I would never bring my kids if they had been sick!
Now, that being said, we've never had or given anyone lice, been anywhere while sick/spreading germs, etc...but it seems as if that's not the case for who you were speaking to so she has no reason to be offended! I would of asked the same thing in that scenario! Maybe she's embarrassed about spreading lice (ewwww!) and felt like you were singling her out?

But specifying kids need to be on their best behavior can be iffy, just because all parents want their kids to act right, but for some young ones and especially multiple young ones, it's tough to guarantee they'll act appropriately! When my boys were younger (well before school aged though) we wouldn't of been able to attend because we don't use sitters and my 3 boys were very rambunctious so I wouldn't of risked it - but it definitely wouldn't of offended me or made me mad - I would of just had to decline the invitation. She shouldn't of been upset about that!

 

[proudparent88]

Then in all honesty that is her problem not yours! I can totally understand your valid reasoning for this I would be the same way I can't stand people coming around my house sick as I am very prone to getting it and can't risk it and I don't want my kids getting it either! And older people are more prone to these things as well because their immune systems are not as strong. If she wants to act that way it's on her but you did the right thing and don't allow anyone to try and tell you otherwise! As for the food issue if no one will tell you then I would just buy and make sure there is enough and if you don't wanna keep all the leftovers feel free to send some home with family and friends as that is what I do and my family does that way it isn't wasted money or food. Hope this helps you are doing everything I feel you should!

 

[sprite30]

Ahh that's a tough one. I don't think what you said is outrageous however I do also think it kind of goes without being said. If I was invited to a party and the host told me ok # 1 and #2 I'd probably feel alittle singled out just because you had to say it too me and probably not come just because my luck it would be my kid who was acting all crazy.

This is all hypothetical of course bc I have no children lol

 

[Cuddle4]

Yeah, I don't think it's rude per se' but the "best behaved" statement would make most parents pause and really consider if they can attend. I know I wouldn't be able to. My 4 year old could, but my 3 year old would not fit the stipulation lol.

 

[sprite30]

Oh sorry I forgot to comment on the RSVP situation and how much food to make. Will this be at your house? I would assume that at least 75% of the people you invited will come or at least stop by that being said when we invite people over for family get togethers we usually have at least 20 people (dh has large family) so I would try to guess by other events you have held. And make foods that stretch like Mac and cheese, or rice. And make sure you put out a small spoon. people will get the point that they aren't supposed to pile the food high if the serving spoons are on the small side.

 

[auntiesarah25]

I hate that people dont rsvp anymore. It is beyond rude! I dont think you're asking too much or anything rude. I would hope that people would only bring well behaved kids who haven't been sick. I don't even visit my grandparents if I've had a case of the sniffles. And if those kids bring head lice I would say to leave them home no ifs, and, or buts about it!

 

[ladybugz]

Terrible that no one is RSVP'ing. Sounds like you may want to call each and ask them if they plan to attend and how many?? Or just wing it and hope you have enough food. eeek

It is in no way bad of you to ask that people with sick kids (adults also) Who have been sick or are sick stay away. It should be common sense, but unfortunately, not the case. My sister had her baby a month ago tomorrow. She only lives 20 min from me and I still haven't got to see her precious baby. Why? Because I have had sick kids! And I have enough common sense not to expose anyone else to it. So yea, if they don't like it then tough! If someone gets offended TOUGH! You are looking out for your Grandparents and not to mention yourself! Grrr Some people! Best of luck to you dear!

 

[wishuwerehere]

Not rsvping is a massive pain in the arse. How hard is it just to call or even drop you a text? Rrr, grinds my gears.

With the kids thing, i def think it's fair to ask sick kids not to come, but ultimately no parent can guarantee their child isn't going to have an off day/get hyperstimulated by a party/be really shy of the grown ups and act up etc...so i think that might've been a tad ott. But if someone said that to me i'd probably respond as i've done here and just ask if that was a problem or if they still really didn't want me to come!

 

[kaylacrouch93]

thanks for the replies everyone but i would like to say i didnt say anything the lice issue to her although it does happen i didnt want to offend her by saying that. i have babysat her kids since her youngest was 2 weeks old she is now almost 7! I really wish i wouldn't of had to ask of kids to be on the best behavior but one of her kids ( 1o years old) is quite rude and will scream/ throw a major fit if she dont get her way. thats what i said what i did. I have had problems with her and her kids and i thought i was being nice by telling her they could come but with my rules ( since no other non related school aged kids will be there) Their was serveral infants (3 months and younger) going to be attending but as of right now the party is off because of this snow/ice storm that has hit..

 

[I Love Lucy]

I thought it was common sense for people not to come/bring their kids if they were sick until my nieces birthday party last fall. My oldest niece began running a fever and complaining about not being well the night before. One of my SIL's friends then said they were sorry she wasn't feeling well assuming this meant the party was cancelled. SIL said the party was definitely still on. I was kind of shocked by this because SIL thought it was okay to have a party with a sick child (how enjoyable would it be for the child) and still expected everyone to show up and just risk them or their own children getting sick. Then my other SIL said something about how kids get sick in school all the time so there being a sick child there is no reason not to come. Uh, what parent really wants their child to be sick ever. I don't think you're being rude specifying those things considering some people just don't seem to have common sense.

 

[Darlin65]

Not rsvp'ing drove my sister nuts with my shower! But think about it tho, you said it yourself in the original post. She is is the only parent that has a problem with it so obviously it must not be that unreasonable. I was so mad when people brought kids to the shower. It was already so crowded and they were just running a muck. I would never bring my kids to a shower or wedding (unless it was family and was ok'd by the couple) but never to a friend's party.

 

[Dinah93]

I would have absolutely no issue on the sickness comment, indeed DD was born 12 weeks early and on oxygen for 8 months so for her first birthday and all through the first year we asked anyone if they'd have a cough or cold in the last week not to come over and we'd see them later. Everyone who did come was asked to remove outside coats and shoes and wash their hands.

But I would have declined your invitation, I can't ever guarantee DD will be well behaved. 9 times out of 10 she's lovely, happy to play with other children, bit of a messy eater but hey she's not 2 yet, full of smiles, but sometimes she just gets in a right temper, especially if you say no to her (if she tries to take another child's cup or drink an adult's coffee for example), and I'd be too worried she'd have a meltdown. It happens at least once a day but lasts under a minute usually, but she's still learning to process the world around her and she can't communicate her needs clearly yet.

It's certainly rude not to tell you if they're coming either way though. Does your friend know you have to treat your hair for lice this often? Maybe she doesn't know her kids have them. My mum is a nursery teacher, around 45+ children in direct contact with her and a further 150 or so indirectly every day, and she's only had head lice once in her 25 year career.

 

[Pearls18]

I would be put out by the "be on their best behaviour comment" as parents we always wish they're well behaved it's not like we choose to let them be naughty, it would make me uncomfortable there if they did nothing slightly mischievous and not make me feel welcome. The sick thing makes sense, but I think the behaviour comment was unnecessary.

 

[baileybubs]

I think it's rude when people don't RSVP too, I'm currently having the same problem with my dd's birthday party, she's only one so most guests are actually adults anyway as she's so young but noone is responding! Annoying!

And I agree the sick kids thing SHOULD be common sense but it isn't always the case sadly so I think I may have mentioned that too.

But as other ladies have said I would probably have had to decline too, but I would have told you that I wasn't upset by it or anything but my dd is a screamer, 80% of the time she's fantastic and people tell me how she's such a good baby, but then there are the times when she is in a bad mood and she yells and screams about everything! I think it would we hard for any parent to guarantee that their child will be on their "best behaviour" so you might find that's why she declined, but not that she's necessarily been offended by it. And maybe she just can't get a babysitter for that day, I know I really struggle, and as you say if one of her children can often be a bit challenging then maybe she hasn't been able to persuade anyone to babysit. If you really want her there maybe just ask her reasoning for not coming, there might be a simple solution or just a misunderstanding

 

[kaylacrouch93]

I would have absolutely no issue on the sickness comment, indeed DD was born 12 weeks early and on oxygen for 8 months so for her first birthday and all through the first year we asked anyone if they'd have a cough or cold in the last week not to come over and we'd see them later. Everyone who did come was asked to remove outside coats and shoes and wash their hands.

But I would have declined your invitation, I can't ever guarantee DD will be well behaved. 9 times out of 10 she's lovely, happy to play with other children, bit of a messy eater but hey she's not 2 yet, full of smiles, but sometimes she just gets in a right temper, especially if you say no to her (if she tries to take another child's cup or drink an adult's coffee for example), and I'd be too worried she'd have a meltdown. It happens at least once a day but lasts under a minute usually, but she's still learning to process the world around her and she can't communicate her needs clearly yet.

It's certainly rude not to tell you if they're coming either way though. Does your friend know you have to treat your hair for lice this often? Maybe she doesn't know her kids have them. My mum is a nursery teacher, around 45+ children in direct contact with her and a further 150 or so indirectly every day, and she's only had head lice once in her 25 year career.

Well her youngest is already 6 and in school. Her kids no how to behave but they just choose not to.. I mean I dont allow cursing around my child and her kids all cuss.. and No she don't know i have to treat my hair everytime im around her kids because i have told her several times before after her kids and she don't treat their hair..

 

[joeyjo]

Well as a lot of you know i found out i am having a lil boy & im planning on doing a gender reveal party. now here is the problems im having..

1. No one is telling me if they are coming for sure or not if they don't tell me how do i know how much food to buy.

2. I said kids are more than welcome to come but i ask they be on their best behavior as my grandparents can't handle a lot of noise and if they have been sick in the past 2 weeks please don't bring them if school aged ( flu season sucks!)

Well one lady who asked if she could bring her kids i told her what is listed in #2 and now she ain't coming?!?! Is it rude that i asked that? I know she has no problem getting a baby sitter. All of her kids are school aged & everytime i see them i have to treat my hair because of lice. I just feel like she shouldn't have gotten mad over me asking them to behave and not bring them if they are sick. She is the only parent that has a problem with it.

Not RSVPing is annoying, when is the party, did you specify an RSVP date, could you follow up with email/phone

Nobody can guarantee kids behaviour ... We all hope and ask our kids to behave but with the best will in the world we can't guarantee.

No illness for 2 weeks seems excessive to me, I had a cold two weeks ago - I was ill, sneezing, achy for 3/4days and have been fine since...
I would say no ill people (don't get why just school age kids!) goes without saying & then 48-72hrs clear to account for weaker immune systems...