Gender scan tomorrow and I'm not excited.

[tigerlilly]

Hi we have our 20 week scan tomorrow and i'm not excited or interested in anything baby, surely this isn't normal?

 

[BRIT1416]

Are you worried about something? Like maybe something is wrong? Nervous about not getting the gender you are wishing for?

 

[Jessicahide]

I agree with pp, have you possibly talked yourself out of being excited because you are afraid XXX have you suffered loss at all? Sorry if that is really personal don't feel you have to ancwer me x

 

[tigerlilly]

Hi and thank you for the replies. At first I thought it was because I wanted a girl but this doesn't excite me either. I had three mc's in a row before this pregnancy and I was ok with this baby until the medical interference of consultants, mw's, diabetic team etc, I was crippled by postnatal depression and dh and I had no help from our families even tho they new, I can't do that again.

 

[Jessicahide]

I think this may well be what is going on xxx I am so sorry for you and your losses, I think you are stopping yourself being attached through fear its completely understandable, might I suggest you ask for some greif counselling you have been through a hell of a lot xxxx

 

[tigerlilly]

we didn't get to find out the gender today but have to go in a couple of weeks, so i'm looking at this as a positive and the baby appears healthy.

 

[BRIT1416]

Did you love seeing baby on the screen?! That always helps my worries melt away when I see that beautiful baby moving all around

 

[Mississippi03]

I wasnt excited for my scan.. I had a hard time connecting with pregnancy after my loss. I think im still oblivious and gaurding my heart because of it. Most of my friends and family are more excited then i am. And i want this baby more then anything, ive fought or it.. All ive ever wanted is to be a mom. But i need baby here before i can let myself get excited again.. At least thats what i think

 

[Jessicahide]

Oh thats a shame xxx I gaurentee you will be so elated when babby arrives safe and well xxx loss is a terrible thing and can do strange things to us. Go have a chat with your gp and tell them how you have been feeling...

 

[mysteriouseye]

Yeah its just sounds like you are proctecting yourself.. which is completely understandable xx

 

[tigerlilly]

Did you love seeing baby on the screen?! That always helps my worries melt away when I see that beautiful baby moving all around

Tbh I couldn't see much I wasn't put off by what I could see so hopefully things will improve xx

 

[bunyhuny]

I've had several losses prior to this pregnancy, and I've had a hard time getting excited for most of it. Usually I'm terrified leading up to a scan, very happy right after the scan when we know that everything is okay, and within a couple days I'm back to being really disconnected from the pregnancy and like I don't want to connect with the baby. I think part of me feels that if I allow myself to bond with the baby, it will be taken away from me. It's weird. Loss does a real number on your psyche.

I think once you give birth, you'll be happy and in love. In the mean time, there is so much else going on. Just take care of you and let yourself bond when you're ready to. There's nothing wrong with taking it slow.