This is really long, and I posted as a separate thread. Just really need some support/encouragement/advice. Before I start I'll say that we have met with lactation consultants from day one and we are still working hard with the goal of breastfeeding through the first year.
my little boy is one month old now. we have had issues with latch from the start, and for the past 2 weeks or so I have been pumping my milk to give him bottles as well as supplementing with formula (due to weight loss issues, and what may well be supply issues.) at first we were giving him more formula than breast milk, but now it's the reverse. I'm happy that he is getting a lot of my milk, just wish he was drinking it from my breasts.
I had to take him off the breast for about a week because my nipples were shredded from our first week of funky feeding. He will take my breast now, and it seems like our latch is slightly improved, but I can't tell if he's taking very much milk. It seems like he's just comfort sucking because I don't hear him swallowing very much. He starts and stops almost the whole time he's on, and usually falls asleep. It's nice that it comforts him, especially the last couple days cause he's been fussy.
I'm frustrated though because I don't know if he'll ever be able to get enough from directly breastfeeding. My pump sessions are yielding an average of 2 ounces, but I'm taking Reglan to increase my supply. (yes, I've already read up on this med, so I don't need any admonitions. so far, so good, no side effects.) I'm pumping about 10 times a day, and I feel like it takes away from the time I can be holding him and hanging out, not to mention that we can't really leave the house for very long. I'm happy that he's now down to just a couple of bottles of formula a day, and eating mostly what I'm making for him, but I don't know how long I can go on like this!
I don't want to give up, especially after coming this far, but I just need us to turn the corner, make some kind of big gain to get us through to the next phase.
It's getting to where I can't really talk to my husband about things because we both get too emotional. He says we should be focused on what we have - a healthy baby who is gaining weight and doing well - instead of the dysfunction of our breastfeeding. I am in agreement with him, and I really am happy to have my son and to know that he is thriving. Still, I have moments where I feel like I am really grieving at the possibility of not being able to breastfeed.
As I said, we are still in contact with lactation consultants, and one has made a referral to an ear/nose/throat doctor to check him for tongue tie - the LCs haven't been able to tell if he has it - as well as a referral to a cranio-sacral therapist to see if some body work might improve our latch. (He's a clamper, by the way...) I'm hoping that one of these referrals might lead to a big improvement.
Just trying to hang on...
(Thanks for reading.)