getting babies off the brain

[AB82]

argh, am so so so fed up today. I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas how to get out of this baby rut.
I started trying for baby in December, got pregnant in Jan, MMC in April and 3rd AF has arrived today since ERPC.

Decided this morning that i was going to have a day of not thinking about my lost pregnancy/getting pregnant again/all my pregnant friends and obviously have failed miserably.

This stuff has filled my head most hours of every day, for 8 months now (and i know some people have spent years) but i've got myself into a routine where I don't know how to not think about it all.

sorry for the rant, just for the first time today it's really dawned on me that this might never happen for me and I need to find a way to deal with that.

 

[Lucy1973]

Hey sorry to hear that, I know how you feel. Came off pill Dec, miscarriage March, miscarriage June. Feel depressed whenever I see children, babies, pregnant women either on telly or in real life.

I am either waiting for ov, or waiting to test, how did this happen? I seriously need to stop thinking about it so much.

Please don't give up though, it is more than likely it will happen for you......I know when people say that to me I am like 'yeah right', but I need to try and think that too. I am on first AF since MC, and am gonna just try again straight away.

Anyway just wanted you to know you are not the only one.

 

[svetayasofiya]

When you find a way to get babies off the brain, you let me know.

I have had one mc, and I thought I was dealing with it well, but it's been 5 weeks today and I am just so friggin depressed, angry, frustrated. I just cried ten minutes ago talking to a friend at work about another friend who is pregnant. I don't know what to tell you. It's just so hard, my response to it all is to take a break. I feel like I shouldn't come on this forum anymore because I don't know if it's helping or making it worse.

For the last year our plan was to ttc after our wedding in February. I was so excited when we started, because I never thought I'd ever get the chance to be a mom. I stupidly thought I'd get pg right away and when it didn't happen, I made myself crazy every 2www. Fortunately, after three cycles on our fourth one we did conceive, which I know in the grand scheme of things is really fast. But unfortunately I mc after 8 wks. and we are back to square one. I just finished my first AF since the mc and I do not want to get pg this month. It's hard... because a huge part of me does, but I just know I am not emotionally ready. I need at least ONE month where I don't care when I ovulate and I don't care when AF comes. There are just too many people pg around me right now. When it's my time again, I don't want to be in everyone's shadows. I want to enjoy it on my own. Maybe that's my anger talking, but it's how I feel right now.

 

[AB82]

Thanks for replying girls it does really help to hear about other peoples experiences.
I'm actually feeling much better today. I know this will sounds really awful, but my friend emailed me to have a moan about life as a new mum (lack of sleep etc) and it kind of made me realise that i really should be enjoying this time as a 'free' person who can sleep through the night!

svetayasofiya, I think after only 5 weeks it's bound to still be really fresh and raw for you. It's been 4 months for me and it's only recently that i can think about my baby without getting upset, I guess it's more of a dull ache now (plus frustration).

I can't decide if the forums are helpful or not, I think it can fuel the obsessions but getting all your thoughts down in print can help rationalise things too.

chins up! x

 

[sarahturner9]

Hiya,
Only just seen this thread. I had a mmc and then D&C for it on 7 July, it was a planned and much wanted pg and I'd let myself think all would be fine and imagined us with our baby next January. So it's hard to let go of all of that.

My only solution to get babies off the brain has been to throw myself into my work, but recommending you become a workaholic probably isn't very helpful, sorry! Yet it's worked for me, keeping so busy (I'm a primary teacher) and challenging myself to improve my practise, and taking on related work this school holiday has kept me sane. The kids in my class have been really uplifting too. Having said that, when I get normal cycles again and have the agonising 2WW I'm sure I won't be able to avoid thinking about it.

It has been hard seeing friends with babies, and although I want to become a mother more than anything, I have just made peace with myself that I will (hopefully) be a mother one day, when it is meant to be, and no matter how many mc's I have to go through then I will just have to ride it all out on this journey to get there. I will be a lot less excited next time, don't think I'll really be happy until I have a live baby in my arms to convince me it's really ok!

AB82- Definitely make the most of being baby free now, plan some experiences that you couldn't do easily with a baby and enjoy quality couple time.

Baby dust to all. Sarah xx

 

[Babyfever02]

I think being able to discuss your feelings is nice. Especially for me because I feel I don't have anyone to talk to I think would really understand. I also find it extremely hard to take babies off my mind. I hate hearing about new pregnancies/brand new mothers, especially those whose it would be their second,third. I think ughhh solo greedy!.But I'm tired of feeling that way. I just want my own already. A healthy baby. I never really thought before that was too much to ask for. Well, baby dust to you all. We will get there

 

[abbie90]

I really carnt think of anything that can help with getting through having a miscarriage,I had my first m/c last month and I found that this site helps a lot especially when there are people going through the same thing,it helps a lot knowing what you think and what your doing to help not thinking about things.
Babyfever 2 I agree with you that discussing it on here helps a lot,I really want to try again soon but my partners reluctant to but all I think about is having another baby ate any of you having that? Xx hugs to you all xx