Getting DH to understand me

[Kess]

Talking about the future is actually the worst you can do for anxiety actually haha, don't think it would wash, to be free of anxiety the best it to be like him, very much in the present, shame huh?

I'm not sure about this. Getting obsessed with the future and not living in the present is bad, but with my anxiety I find being able to take "time out" when I'm stressed to think about (hopefully) happier times therapeutic.

My OH doesn't understand my need to think about the future either - he's too practical. I explained to him that my thinking/talking about it is not indicative of my wanting to pressure him or rush him, it's just my way of destressing and daydreaming. He is better about it now, though he still doesn't understand as such, he does now accept it.

 

[toffee87]

My BF is the same, he wants kids but not till we're settled in jobs and a house/flat. So until then he doesn't want to talk about it, he see's it as wasting time.

I know exactly how you feel! x

 

[calm]

Talking about the future is actually the worst you can do for anxiety actually haha, don't think it would wash, to be free of anxiety the best it to be like him, very much in the present, shame huh?

I'm not sure about this. Getting obsessed with the future and not living in the present is bad, but with my anxiety I find being able to take "time out" when I'm stressed to think about (hopefully) happier times therapeutic.

My OH doesn't understand my need to think about the future either - he's too practical. I explained to him that my thinking/talking about it is not indicative of my wanting to pressure him or rush him, it's just my way of destressing and daydreaming. He is better about it now, though he still doesn't understand as such, he does now accept it.

It all depends about what type of anxiety we are talking about. To talk about things of course is positive, to use the future as a way of seeing some light at the end of tunnel, probably as well. If you actually have a problem with anxiety as I do, you tend to either dread the future, or live in the future, and hardly don't focus on the present. This is really bad, as you are "out" of yourself and you need to live less in your mind and more in the moment.

 

[Kess]

I suffer from an anxiety disorder with panic attacks myself, though I'm better than I used to be. I tend towards the "live in the future" vice, but I still value the relaxation I can get from daydreaming about the future. I have to just make sure I do plenty of fun things in the present to prevent it causing me problems.

 

[calm]

I suffer from an anxiety disorder with panic attacks myself, though I'm better than I used to be. I tend towards the "live in the future" vice, but I still value the relaxation I can get from daydreaming about the future. I have to just make sure I do plenty of fun things in the present to prevent it causing me problems.

Yes, as long as it is something balanced then its not a problem.

 

[calm]

Positive visualization can be very good. The only daydreamings that are bad, are those uncontrolled ones, especially the negative ones. They are the ones to be avoided more than any others. Also to be avoided are positive ones that get in the way of the present.

 

[Louise N]

Calm I hope your anxiety subsides soon. It's a horrible thing to live with, I know as i've suffered on and off since I was 18. I've had a couple of panic attacks in the last 2 weeks but I know for me it's the stress of the wedding that's causing it.

Sending calming vibes your way!!

 

[calm]

Thank you Louise! I haven't had actual panic attacks for a long time, more general anxiety, and avoidance of situations that cause panic attacks. Its getting over this avoidance I must do to TTC.

In a couple of days you are NTNP !!! Congratsss!!! Many congrats for the wedding too!!! It is normal to have panic attacks at times like these, just try not to give them much importance (easy to say I know), but when we can do this, is when we get better. Good luck!!

 

[Webbykinskt]

I know how you feel. My OH has agreed to it in the future, but he can't understand why I come on here and 'make myself worse' as he puts it. Tbh I think it helps talking to people who understand but he thinks it's making me more broody. I wish men had the same urges we do

 

[calm]

I know how you feel. My OH has agreed to it in the future, but he can't understand why I come on here and 'make myself worse' as he puts it. Tbh I think it helps talking to people who understand but he thinks it's making me more broody. I wish men had the same urges we do

Yes, my DH thinks the same. I half agree with him, but only half. True it makes us more broody, but on the other hand it is GREAT to speak to people that feels just like we do. xxx