Getting gifts but not buying gifts in return.

[karlilay]

Last year, we were broke (surprise), we were expecting baby on 1st Jan, just had Madis Birthday, and just moved house. So we all decided not to buy gifts for each other or our parents etc and just buy for the kids, my nephew and my cousins.
It worked brilliantly, we brought everything, for the baby, and for Madi and sorted ourselfs out.
Come Christmas Day, all the people that said they would only buy Madi presents gave me and OH presents. I was gutted i felt awful.I thought we had agreed and i looked like a scrooge. They all reasured us it didnt matter, but i still felt terrible.

This year im going to make sure i get everyone a little something, maybe £10 each. We just havent got the money. But i cant face the embarrasment again.

So this has got me thinking, how would you feel if you brought something for someone and they got you nothing in return. Or the other way around?

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[Natasha2605]

I'd feel pretty shit if somebody got me something but I didn't have anything for them. I definitely would. If I bought somebody something and they didn't give one back I wouldn't be too fussed though, I've more important things going on to really care

 

[tiggertea]

I would have felt exactly like you, but honestly, if you said no buying for adults, just kids, then they shouldn't have put you in the situation where you were made to feel bad. They likely didn't think too much about the fact you had nothing for them, they weren't expecting it anyway. You could always make them a little something rather than spending lots of £££ on presents? There are some great "homemade" ideas threads in the grotto already.

 

[Nyn]

I know how you feel!! I've been there before!

These days I get everyone something, but I have a very low spending limit per person... it's the thought that counts, right?!

and hand made gifts are great

 

[gills8752]

A easy and cheap way to avoid that problem is to make up a huge batch of cookies or lebkuchan or truffles etc and have then bagged up ready just in case then you can just hand them out if you need too. If not - you get to pig out on boxing day! lol

 

[MummyJade]

If you said no gifts for adults then they shouldn't of done that... i would of felt bad too...
I wouldn't care if i got someone something and they didnt me, as long as they was thankful... xx

 

[Kate&Lucas]

To be fair if someone told me not to get them a gift I probably still would
Only because I LOVE giving gifts, even if it's something small, it's all part of the fun. I wouldn't be a bit bothered if I recieved nothing back (it's happened a couple of times with a friend who's always skint but I've still always got her something). I'd feel a bit embarassed if I was given something and couldn't give a gift back, but I know in my family it'd be forgotten about in 2 seconds.

Deffo have a look at the homemade threads though, a bag of cookies can go a long way!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

You dont need to spend a tenner hun, def make something or chocs. Much cheaper x

 

[PinkEmily]

You could always get some tins of chocolates. My MIL usually gives each household a tin of roses and/or a bottle of wine in a gift bag.

 

[Every Rose]

I would rather give something and get nothing in return than be given something by someone I hadn't bought a gift for.

Don't waste your money just for the sake of having something to give back though. Last month I helped out at the Sure Start Centre's fund raising fair, and I worked on the bric-a-brac stall.

I can't tell you how many of those bath sets we had donated, from Boots and Body Shop etc, unopened, still with the little green parcel stickers on them that they have on the 3 for 2 gifts. We had loads of that type of thing donated and you could tell a lot of it was not cheap. I said at the time "I am never buying this sort of thing for people at Christmas again." The amount we had donated just proves that people often have no use for it. And I thought everyone would use bath stuff. I was shocked at how many people just gave it away unopened for whatever reason.

So if you think that might happen there is no point spending money on something just to have a present to hand out.

Better to have a proper think about it and give something they will use. Otherwise it's just wasting money you don't have to throw away.

Can you do something creative instead? Like give a gift to the whole family, rather than to each member of it. For example if you have and Aunt and Uncle and two cousins living in the same house, instead of buying four gifts could you bake a cake or a batch of biscuits for them to share?

Or perhaps give the children a gift and your Aunt and Uncle a homemade voucher saying you will babysit so they can have a night out.

Even take advantage of the supermarket offers on bottles of wine, three for £10, and give one bottle to each couple rather than spend £10 each on them.

This year I have been looking out in sales and charity shops etc for ceramic jars with lids. I found a fantastic one in orange and black that I knew would look perfect in my friends kitchen, got it for £2.00 and spent about the same baking biscuits to go inside it. When I gave it to her she was over the moon. I've got a couple more things like that, including a vintage cocktail shaker I am planning to put a minature bottle of vodka in with a couple of cocktail stirrers as a gift for someone else.

Or you could buy a nice picture frame and get your LO to colour a picture to put in it. You can get nice frames quite cheaply now.