Getting OH involved

[Mya209]

Anyone having trouble getting their partner involved with the wtt planning? I am wtt in June so now is the time we start planning our lives and improving our bodies. He was shocked and mortified that I want him to take Zink. I know he will forget to take it which I'll take personally. He seems bored when I talk about foods and stuff or when to come off the pill. I think he's still at a stage where he's just thinking that he has to do the business and that's it. This must be common with men at this early stage. Any tips to get them interested or should I shut up about it and leave him alone?

 

[sun]

Hmmmm - I also plan on just doing the business!!!
(And taking folic acid ofcourse) What does zinc do? What else is recommended?
xx

 

[Mya209]

For women there are lots of recomended lifestyle and diet changes to be made before TTC. there are lots of posts about them. Zinc is good for the health of the sperm I heard but they can also take a multi vit. I kind of want him to talk about the baby and preparing but he just seems to want to ignore it till June.

 

[molly85]

lol my OH is like that now we are trying he is 6 out of 10 excited now and when i get pregnant will be 18 out of 10. We actually got into an argument over baby baths over kitchen sink. I value my knees and back i'm for the sink until they can sit


Never mind good luck waiting

Molly85

 

[Amygdala]

Mine was like that for a long time but recently he's become more excited. And he's taking his vits. Have you planned ttc for a long time or is this relatively new ground? Cause most girls on here will tell you that men just need time to adjust to the idea.

 

[Mya209]

We just agreed to try in June a few days ago. I pointed out that it's quite soon and we should discuss things. I don't think he wants to talk about it really. Whenever I mention it I feel like I'm irritating him. I get excited about stuff and like to research things and discuss things but I know if everything becomes about babies then he will most likely go off the idea. We were engaged and had planned and paid for the wedding when it all got too much for him and he cancelled everything. I don't want that to happen with this!

 

[Amygdala]

Wow and you're still with him? That would have been a definite dealbreaker for me. No wonder you don't trust him to stick with the ttc date!

 

[Mya209]

Yeah we got back together and worked through stuff. Luckily we are strong now. He's just sometimes a bit unsure of what he wants and gets scared of serious grown up stuff occasionally. Hehe.

 

[Amygdala]

Hm, maybe you just need to encourage him to talk more about his fears etc? Seriously though, if he doesn't feel he's grown up enough to be married, how will he cope with the responsibility of being a parent. I think I would need proof from him that he has grown. Personally I'd want to do the wedding first (that being a far smaller commitment) but that's just me. I'd make damn sure he won't change his mind though, especially not when it's 'too late'.

 

[TinyBoots]

Argh, Mya! Are you dating my OH?!

Mine is exactly the same, Every time we talk about trying, he just says "we will", but when I want to talk about it further, talk about babies etc, he just goes quiet, and shys away from the idea. He knows how broody I am, and has said he DOES want children, but getting anything more is like getting blood out of a stone!

How about writing him a letter explaining how you feel? I find a letter is sometimes better than spoken words xxx

 

[lozzy21]

I would just hand him his multivitamin with a drink and give him no choice but to take it.

 

[TinyBoots]

Lozzy, that would be a good way, but it IS so disheartening when you get so excited about something and your OH doesn't match your excitement. It deflates you

We should knock some sense into our partners Mya x

 

[lozzy21]

I know exactly what you meen, iv had this with my OH for the past 2 years

 

[TinyBoots]

You can join Team 'Knocking Sense Into Men' too. I'll get my man excited if it's the last thing I do!

^^ Sounds rude... haha!

 

[Nanaki]

My hubby was the same. Once I got pregnant, it hits him hard then til my son born it hitted him so hard that never hit him like that before so he got to prepare for it. Men can be like that til the baby arrives! Men to be men! lol xxx

 

[lozzy21]

I think my OH will get excited when hes ready to be a dad, unfortunatly thats not the same time as i want to be a mam

 

[Baby Love]

I feel quite lucky because my OH (wife) is starting to get excited now. We'll be in a store and she'll see a onsie or something, and be like "this is sooo cute!" - or she'll point out someone with a small baby so I can see it too. Recently she's started reading pregnancy books with me and actually seems interested! She knows I want this really badly I think, and so she's making a real effort to be involved in it all (even the WTT stage). I am glad because there was a point where she didn't seem so bothered, and I felt ashamed for wanting to be a mom. Now we both want to be mommies! So I guess it takes some people time to come around to the idea and when they do, it'll be the best thing ever!

 

[Raspberrybean]

My OH won't really talk about it much at the mo either. He was happy for me to stop taking bcp and that we will be ntnp until we ttc in April. TBH i think he thinks that i'm obsessing already