Giving a toddler an Ipad to play with is lazy parenting?

[AP]

Ive said it before but the ipad changed everything for us, our lo has developmental delay and has learnt a lot from it once we introduced it. Her time with it is limited and has been great for trips to places and hospital appointments.

We bought Apple TV at Xmas to add to the apple household we now have, and I have some great ideas for it - you can stream videos and pictures to the TV from the iPad and I hope to create a slideshow of things to help her learn

 

[AP]

We were at Target on Wednesday and there was a shopping catr (one of the bigger ones), with two little girls in it, probably around 5/6 years. Each had an iPhone and was watching a movie on her own. I have to admit I raised my eyebrows. When I was that age I loved going shopping with my mom!

Someone will probably say, "maybe they are high needs/excitable/need distraction/what do I know about their situation/whatever" and get on me for this, but what if they weren't? Chances are they weren't, as not everyone is (even though it is popular bnb reasoning). I remember when DVD players in cars were coming into fashion and people were like, "what happened to good old family time in the car?". I can understand long car rides - but this was just a trip to Target. It was sad to see two little girls being allowed to tune out the rest of the world for the sake of a couple of electronic gadgets.

From MY POINT OF VIEW.

I cant kinda explain this from our wee world, but Alex screams through the WHOLE shopping trip. She detests being in supermarkets and shopping so a few minutes of an iphone is a godsend.

But high chance - they werent, you're right. Supermarket trips are great for learning - our other LO enjoys shopping so its not so bad and we show her things, take her down aisle and let her look at the cat food...

 

[robinator]

Hell, my baby likes to EAT cat food!

And I let her on occasion. Is that lazy parenting? Because honestly, I can't be bothered to remove her hand from his bowl. One. More. Time.

 

[robinator]

Nooooo, not news and debates!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dragonfly]

Like I have nothing else to do and sit and play with my 2 kids ALL day. They need to eat food, they need to not choke on dust floating around their room, and I need to take a shower once in a while. It's 7am and they are all asleep still but I can't vacuum his room when he's asleep in there. Not everything can be done when kids are sleeping.

If, like the olden days, my extended family was available to watch them for a few hours while I got these essential things done, then I would absolutely not use any sort of toy/device to entertain the 2.5 year old but so far, that is no bueno, they will not help.

No, I don't use an ipad, I don't have one. But yes, you are darn right that the Disney channel is on Special Agent Oso when I need to vacuum the house without a toddler jumping up and down on it, breaking it, or when I need to cook dinner!

It is hard to neglect a toddler, when they are yanking on your shirt and yelling for food, I suppose you could ignore them!?!?? LOL....

I use the tv. I know so many freak about that but they have to eat and if they dont have that distraction I am falling over them and never getting anything done. I cant get someone to mind them when I clean my house my parents refuse to help me, they wont even baby sit for half an hour.

 

[Foogirl]

Oh how I hate the term "lazy parenting" and all its implications. I think people are too quick to bandy about terms like this, without considering the whole picture. And in every generation there is something else to have a go at parents for.

Abby uses the I-pad. It was actually recommended to us by her Occupational Therapist. She cannot "play" like most other children if she can improve skills using the educational apps then why not. This is the point where people jump in and say "well if it is to suit special needs that's ok" Why is it ok for a child with SN but not for a child without? Is Abby somehow lacking something because she is improving her skills in a different way? I don't think so. An I-pad is a valid educational tool. And a valid entertainment tool also.

Sure, its terrible when a child totally ignores everyone at a restaurant because they are sitting playing with an I-pad. It used to be gameboy, before that it was walkman, before that.......there has always been something children will be engrossed in and ignore everyone around them. My thing was books. Was that ok? Because I was reading a book instead of using something digital? Of course not, it would be equally as rude if my mother had not been very clear to me that I would not bring a book to the table. I love to see young people reading, but I absolutely hate seeing sullen pre-teens sitting in a restaurant reading a book and totally ignoring their family. The problem there is not with the media being used, it is with the lack of discipline or encouragement for the child to be sociable.

Why is it ok to leave a child sitting playing with a big box of blocks and not with an I-pad? Isn't that equally as "lazy?" Just like anything else, it is all about what you do with it and I wholeheartedly agree that children these days have to be tech savvy or they will be left behind.

 

[Foogirl]

But high chance - they werent, you're right. Supermarket trips are great for learning - our other LO enjoys shopping so its not so bad and we show her things, take her down aisle and let her look at the cat food...

Yeah, but really, some people just hate shopping. If I had the chance to sit in the trolley and play i-phone whilst shopping, I sooooo would do it! It must be the same for children too.

 

[XJessicaX]

If something electronic can distract a child long enough from crying or fussing then fantastic! In fact, I may just start giving my LO my iphone when out shopping. My usual pacifying technique is slowly feeding her grapes. Iphone sounds much less effort, and she may actually eat properly the following meal lol!

Best 'lazy parenting' buy ever...car DVD player. Wish I got one months ago!

 

[Foogirl]

We didn't want to do the car DvD thing but we did in the end and it was such a good thing to do. We no longer have big fights in the car where she is bored, wants to chat but no matter how many times we ask her to speak up so we can hear her over the noise of the car she chooses that time (and that time only) to use her quietest voice. End result, annoyed parents and child. I'll take multiple episodes of meg and mog over that any day!

 

[AP]

But high chance - they werent, you're right. Supermarket trips are great for learning - our other LO enjoys shopping so its not so bad and we show her things, take her down aisle and let her look at the cat food...

Yeah, but really, some people just hate shopping. If I had the chance to sit in the trolley and play i-phone whilst shopping, I sooooo would do it! It must be the same for children too.

Na...

I prefer shopping ON the iphone

 

[chell5544]

We didn't want to do the car DvD thing but we did in the end and it was such a good thing to do. We no longer have big fights in the car where she is bored, wants to chat but no matter how many times we ask her to speak up so we can hear her over the noise of the car she chooses that time (and that time only) to use her quietest voice. End result, annoyed parents and child. I'll take multiple episodes of meg and mog over that any day!

Haha this is DD1 down to a tea at home its 'there's no need to shout' but in the car she decides to shout 'mummy' I say 'yes lexi' then all I hear is a mumble 'speak up lexi', 'mummy', 'yes lexi' then a mumble this cycle goes on and on and on lol

 

[Emzywemzy]

I just think, never judge a person before walking a mile in their shoes. You have no idea what kind of children they have/day they've been having, etc. I remember a time when I was really poorly and had to take holly with me to the doctors. She was really playing up and screaming and crying, so I let her eat a galaxy cake bar to keep her quiet. Lazy parenting? Some may say, but necessary at the time! I've let Holly play with my phone on the bus because she was playing up. Normally, we sit and talk about what we can see, etc but some days she's just not having it. Same in a restaurant waiting for food, same at a hospital appointment. Doesn't mean I do it all the time, I just do it when I feel its necessary! I also sit and play educational games with her on my phone and laptop. So all the time, not good. But don't judge the frazzled mum in the supermarket/restaurant etc!

 

[special_kala]

Everything is bad if used in the wrong way.

Yes of course using a ipad as a babysitter is pretty lazy and bad if you are doing it all the time.

Letting kids play on one with you or alone for limited time can really benefit them. Really whats the difference between flash cards on card or on a tablet? or puzzles? or cds with kids songs on?

Ive seen kids completly absorbed in tablets whilst out....that could be the first time they used it in weeks, they could have just spent 6 hours playing in the park and needed a little chill out time.

Its very easy to judge and say i would never do that but things change as kids get older and unless someone says to you "my kid spends 6 hours on the tablet becaue i really cant be bothered to play with them" making a judgment on a 5 minute snapshot you see of their life isnt exactly fair

 

[special_kala]

I once pushed the girls round the supermarket while they were both eating those pretty big lindt bunnies. Partly because River had grabbd them and opened them before i could stop her and partly because at the time my husband was screwing some woman at work and i was incredible stressed so at the time actually my 2 year old and maybe 8 month old being quiet in the supermarket was well worth the dirty looks i was sure too get, it was far better then the possibility that if they played up i would have just completly lost it in asda and ended up in a ball in the middle of the bread aisle.

Saying "well i saw these kids doing this....with this" usually isnt fair on th parent at all

 

[Foogirl]

I have a mental image of husband screwing a girl from work in the frozen food aisle as you try to get passed them to the frozen peas

 

[special_kala]

Well they did work for Tesco in a pretty rough area so its a possibility they did and no one would have batted a eye....though it was only a express store so it would have to just be against the freezer cabinet

 

[Foogirl]

Na...

I prefer shopping ON the iphone

So does Alex.

 

[Foogirl]

Well they did work for Tesco in a pretty rough area so its a possibility they did and no one would have batted a eye....though it was only a express store so it would have to just be against the freezer cabinet

Must. Resist. "Fish counter". Reference.

 

[special_kala]

Reduced to clear aisle would be more appropriate. The fish counter is fresh at least

 

[AP]

Na...

I prefer shopping ON the iphone

So does Alex.

Aye - dont I know it