Giving my baby up for adoption

[Rhea]

I'm 18 years old, 9 weeks pregnant and single. The father wants nothing to do with the baby and I'm so afraid that if I keep the baby that I won't be able to to cope.

I have thought long and hard about terminating my pregnancy and I know that I can't do that due to moral objections. So I have started to consider adoption. I want the baby to have a good life and I know at the moment I can't provide this. When I have a child I want it to be raised in a family as I never had this.

I'm from UK, London and I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me and the steps I can take for setting up an adoption?

Thanks in advance xx

 

[jogami]

Didn't want to read and run hun!
Fistly,
I know the decision you have made was not taken lightly... I don't know what to say just wanted to tell you that you still have time. You might feel differently when bubz is here. If you still feel that you can't provide for him/ her than I say you are doing the most difficult thing ever by putting his/ her needs before yours...
I just wanted to add that even though you feel that you can't provide for LO sometimes all they need is their Mommy's love.
I don't want to depress you it's just a thought.
If you want advice or help perhaps you should visit the Teen Pregnancy forum. There are loads of young girls there who would be willing to offer advice; without being judgemental. Never think you're alone on B&B xXx

 

[moomin_troll]

sorry i dont no much about adoption but i suppose you could call ur local social services and they might have more infor for u or send u in the right direction.

it takes alot to make a decision like this n uve obviously thought long and hard about what is best for ur baby, but dont think this cant be u! alot of women are young single mothers and do a great job.

i wish u all the luck in the world with what ever u decide

 

[CareBear]

If you wish to be advised on how to go about an adoption and have some further information to aid your decision, contact your local social services and they will be able to put you in contact with the local authority adoption agency who will be able to advise you and offer you counselling. Good luck with your decision

 

[mummy3]

You are best asking social services. I think you are taking a very mature approach to this. You are obviously putting your baby first

It is possible to do it alone and make something of yourself though, have you anyone you can talk everything through with? Maybe your gp can refer you for counseling.

 

[tinybutterfly]

you've already gotten great advice here so far

i'm just saying, there is also the in between option, foster care.
you might not be able to take care of your baby now, but you might be in just a few years time.

 

[Laura2919]

You have a bit of time to think about this.
It must be a decision which is hard to make, and cannot be taken lightly either. There are so many people out there who want children and cant have them and if you understand that your baby would be better off in a family than with you on your own then I think your going to make someone else very happy but you also need to be happy.
Try calling social services and getting some advice from them. I dont know much about it but wanted to offer Your strong, You are thinking about doing one of the hardest things someone could most probably do.. Makes you strong in my book again for you xx

 

[honey08]

 

[IzireBaby]

Hey, just thought Ide say congrats!Not sure if that's quiet what you want to hear but the bundle of joy you hold is a blessing!;o) I fell pregnant with my first child when I was 16, I too had moral from a religious backround I grew up in and abortion wasn't an option,it seems just like yesturday I thought I would never have kids,especially at my age and I understand the feeling of thinking ya wouldn't cope cause your not ready.I had a beautiful healthy baby boy and words can't express the joy and role you amazingly suprise yourself yor capable of ;o) Motherhood is something unexpected but comes very naturally.I was also adopted at birth, I was my birthmothers 2nd child and apparently was a "mistake" she gave me to her Aunty and uncle "my parents" giving me 5 older sisters and an older brother ;o) I didn't have any contact with my birthmother till recently,and the pain she sheered to me on reasons she didn't want me were over whelming,I don't like what happened but I told her I was forever greatful she gave me to a loving family,even though I found it hard to accept as I learned of my adoption whilst I grew up,I couldn't imagine life without the family I have now.I hope you do what Is right for you,live for today,not tomorow.Bless ya!xo

 

[Blah11]

Good luck with whatever you choose. Just remember that you can always change your mind even if you have the wheels in motion in regards to adoption. Even when youve handed the baby over you have a cooling off period. If its what you want then go for it but if its the decision of someone else (parents, friends, FOB) don't do it cos you'll regret it forever.

 

[fairydreams]

first of all I just wanted to send you a great big hug , I agree with the other ladies you are not alone hunni and there is so much help out there whatever you decide to do. I think ringing Social Services is the best course of action too although I am pretty sure if you spoke to your GP they would have access to the relevant helplines and support networks.

fairydreams

 

[hayley x]

xxx

 

[Katumz]

Hi! I'm Katy and I'm choosing adoption as well. If you think its the right thing then do it, and to tell you the truth me and my boyfriend have started looking at possible parents and it has brought me so much joy knowing how happy my baby is going to be

So go with your heart and good luck!

 

[hopeandpray]

choosing the baby's hapiness over yours is so brave. have you looked into open adoption? that would give you a chance to still see your baby grow

 

[Wobbles]

The people approaching this girl trying to make private arrangements is actually turning my stomach. She came here for advice not for strangers to 'offer' adopting her child, it's unsafe and in the interest of the child this should be followed through with professional experts/teams not randomly picked up from the internet if this is her final decision.

Those interested in adopting also should use the proper procedure, if your willy nilly trying to pick a child up off the internet like your shopping for a new bag I think you should seriously reconsider, its so unethical.

Rhea, I would advise your first step being social services who will advise you properly referring you if necessary where you will be well advised of the procedure and making sure you are well looked after (insuring this is definitely what you want) whist preparing a SAFE family for baby.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

The people approaching this girl trying to make private arrangements is actually turning my stomach. She came here for advice not for strangers to 'offer' adopting her child, it's unsafe and in the interest of the child this should be followed through with professional experts/teams not randomly picked up from the internet if this is her final decision.

Those interested in adopting also should use the proper procedure, if your willy nilly trying to pick a child up off the internet like your shopping for a new bag I think you should seriously reconsider, its so unethical.

Rhea, I would advise your first step being social services who will advise you properly referring you if necessary where you will be well advised of the procedure and making sure you are well looked after (insuring this is definitely what you want) whist preparing a SAFE family for baby.

I fully agree. Made me sick to see that person ask to adopt her baby. Just sick.

 

[CareBear]

The people approaching this girl trying to make private arrangements is actually turning my stomach. She came here for advice not for strangers to 'offer' adopting her child, it's unsafe and in the interest of the child this should be followed through with professional experts/teams not randomly picked up from the internet if this is her final decision.

Those interested in adopting also should use the proper procedure, if your willy nilly trying to pick a child up off the internet like your shopping for a new bag I think you should seriously reconsider, its so unethical.

Rhea, I would advise your first step being social services who will advise you properly referring you if necessary where you will be well advised of the procedure and making sure you are well looked after (insuring this is definitely what you want) whist preparing a SAFE family for baby.

I fully agree. Made me sick to see that person ask to adopt her baby. Just sick.

I agree but I think adoption in the US is different to the UK. In the UK birth parents do not choose adoptive parents but are able to put forward their wishes as to what sort of family they would like their child to go to and they are given the opportunity to meet the adoptive parents as well if the match between the child and adoptive parents goes ahead.

 

[Wobbles]

The lady is from the UK.

Plus this is BabyandBump not a country iykwim so that is where my concerns lie. It worries me how things like this can be handled.

x

 

[embojet]

The people approaching this girl trying to make private arrangements is actually turning my stomach. She came here for advice not for strangers to 'offer' adopting her child, it's unsafe and in the interest of the child this should be followed through with professional experts/teams not randomly picked up from the internet if this is her final decision.

Those interested in adopting also should use the proper procedure, if your willy nilly trying to pick a child up off the internet like your shopping for a new bag I think you should seriously reconsider, its so unethical.

Rhea, I would advise your first step being social services who will advise you properly referring you if necessary where you will be well advised of the procedure and making sure you are well looked after (insuring this is definitely what you want) whist preparing a SAFE family for baby.

I completely agree! Made me feel sick, it's not like shopping for a bag.

 

[quaizer]

Just wanted to offer and wish you lots of luck and love xx