Giving up dreams?

[ClassicaLover]

 

[nikkip75]

sometimes i think oh the things i could have done!

but now 2 kids later and one on the way my ambitions have changed, i would have loved to have done a degree, gone travelling etc but now my ambitions are to take the kids to disney land one day! me and dd1 have been twice so the others have got to go now aswell!
i dream of having a bigger house with a great big garden with a tree house for the kids, and one day getting my perfect job, which isnt some big high executive job its working part time and being able to pick my kids up from school everyday and being there as much as possible for them and not have to rely on childminders etc.

its amazing how your ambitions change once you have kids.

i do hope you can follow your dreams and theres no reason why you shouldnt! you can still go travelling with kids, you can still study and have the job of your dreams, you will just have a little one to factor into your
plans but people do it all the time.

goodluck

 

[meg]

I don't think that you should put the things you want to do to one side, i think if i did that, i would be very resentful, and feel like i had done the wrong thing by having a baby.

I'll just have finished the 3rd year of my degree when I have the baby, and I fully intend to go back to do my 4th year, full-time, as its the only way I can afford to do it. The uni will just have to be flexible for me and my OH so we can both do this.

Sure, me and the OH wanted to see a few more places in the world, but apart from financial reasons, there are no reason why we can't do this - plus after we both have our honours degrees, and hopefully masters, we can get good jobs and not just provide a good life for our child, but for ourselves as well.

I'm not prepared to forget all my ambitions because i'm having a baby, and i'm not prepared to forget who I am either. I know that this will be difficult, and I don't mean by any length that I wont put my baby first, but other things have to be important too, if you know what i mean!

sorry, this has turned into a story!

 

[Rach276]

I wanted to go to uni in september then we found out Jacks on the way. Had to re think some things but its all going to work out in the end. All I want from life is to remain in a happy realstionship with OH, have maybe another child and a nice house with a resonable job.

 

[elm]

I'm happy having a baby and spending time with him for now. I don't know what I want to do beyond that at the moment.

I think that moving to Japan would be a great experience for you child - they'd grow up multi-lingual and have experience a different culture (as well as yours at home). Is he saying you can't do it because of financial issues? Even if that's the case doesn't it just mean that you put different timescales on things?

Being realistic is fine but it doesn't mean you can't do things you want to do x

 

[Logiebear]

Well I trained as an Accountant in 3 yrs and had 2 babies in that time. My husband and I are going to move to Australia in 5 yrs with 4 kids aged 16, 8, 6 and 5 so I don't get people who use their kids as excuses for not doing things in life. I'm not saying you are but I'm saying that kids can be part of the journey not obsticles to stand in the way of it. It just takes determination and a desire to get what you want out of life. I want my family but want to raise them in another country and my husband and I will be working full time and earning plenty when we move over there as our kids will all be in school. You just have to know that you can get what you want hun.

good luck to you and you go for it, you can succeed and get where you want to xxx

 

[massacubano]

My Husband and I still have dreams, they have changed a bit with the larger family. I do totally understand what you mean. The dreams have to change a bit, but do not need to end

 

[Shifter]

I've just finished my degree with the OU after six years and can honestly say that studying part time was wonderful for me! I also encountered lots of students who had young children. I sat my last exam at about 20 weeks pregnant but heard of other women doing so even further along than me.

I had wanted to wait to have kids until I had my degree and a career, but over my early twenties I couldn't settle on a choice of career and broodiness took over after I turned 25!

I had wanted to travel too, I was planning a six month trek around Asia after my degree, but my priorities changed somewhere along the way. By coincidence hubby and I almost had the opportunity to live in Japan last year, I even started learning the language! But it didn't happen. It doesn't mean we can't ever visit though.

I'd love to take my LO all over the world to see other cultures and hubby and I just this morning talked about going travelling when we retire!

There is so much time in life and children are not a barrier, but a wonderful part of the whole experience.

 

[Jai_Jai]

i am jst finishing my degree and then i was going to do my PGCE in Sept and decided to take a yr out so we could have a baby too as well as take time out from education!! I am going to do a part time PGCE starting in sept 2010 it takes 2 yrs to do...2 days a wk except when on placement.....which MIL said she would look after beanie then so I am lucky - my point is though never give up on ur dreams and thehre is no need to. My friend has 3 kids her youngest is about 2 1/2 now and she is doing exactly what i am (so she did a degree with me and started when bubs was jst born!! it can be done!!

 

[Shinning_Star]

I'm in my fourth year of an OU degree, it actually saved my brain cells when my ds was asleep in bed. Now I have another on the way things will still continue, my next course starts in feb 2009, great thing abt OU is they are ery supportive and flexible! I would say do OU course when children are young though before they're 8yrs, etc, just cos of early bedtimes and computer usage! LOL (less washing!) I hope to finish my degree by 2010 and get married after that! Possibly another baby!

There's so much support out there these days, you can do all sorts with your children in tow hehe!

I would say though your ambitions and priorities change immensely! I actually think it was my son who gave me the drive to commit to a degree, so I cld know no matter what I cld provide for him! I would say dreams are fine, you just have to work towards them and having babies doesn't stop that!

Hugs