GMTV a Midwife says "promoting Breast Feeding is bad"

[Samemka]

Some of these replies ahve reminded me why I depressed myself and tried to suffer the pain when feeding Emma, to the point where I locked myself in the bathroom and refused to feed her as I was in so much pain - after ibuprofen etc.

Because I was scared of being judged.

That will make some more timid mothers not bother to ask about formula feeding, too scared to pick up a leaflet at the doctors on it in case they get asked questions about it. So they wont ask, and they may get it wrong and the baby could get ill. It can be done! I have witness - thankfully - OH making a bottle from cold water in the kettle and putting the water in after the powder, and thankfully I intercepted that bottle.

I would have thought having 6 cousins who he has helped look after he would know what to do but he didnt.

I had a very similar situation to you, I really know what you mean. I had such problems with BF that it was getting to the stage where I wasn't enjoying Emma and I know had I carried on that way I could have got PND. Yes - you could say I could have asked for support, done this, done that - maybe in hindsight I could have - but what mattered to me at the time was that I was a happy mummy and able to enjoy Emma - because if I wasn't happy in myself, there's no way my baby was going to be either! And the relief I felt when Emma took her first bottle with no problems whatsoever made me convinced I had 100% made the correct decision. I don't agree the whole 'breast is best' thing because realistically it depends on every mummy and their baby and we're all different - for us, breast wasn't best because it was making me feel so terrible and down that evetually, Emma would have suffered. Yet I fully accept for others, breast is best because the 'relief' I felt when Emma was being bottle fed is probably a similar feeling to the happiness they get from BF their babies.

 

[ryder]

I think peoples experiences can be affected by so many factors. support and the kind of information available to Mum's can vary enormously depending on where you live and the type of NHS trust your hospital is in. I am fortunate that mine gave info on both feeding methods. Although I will say that I as a BFer and my sister as a FFer both got most of our info from other sources than ante natal classes or the mws. But maybe that's us. We both like to be armed with everything.
I'm not surprised to see this thread getting heated and people being rude to one another. It seems to be par for the course. The only part I've really got an issue with is how its ok to use terms like 'The BF*Brigade' I find that derogatory and I'm sure if someone grouped all FF Mum's under a term like 'The FF*Facists' people would raise an eyebrow so can I ask admin that they don't allow those kind of terms to be used please

1st one - I never got any for either with my first. I was a nervous wreck. So thats good and as you says 'armed with the information anyway'.

2nd one - I didn't see that ...I won't ask who but will agree it should not be used maybe something we should add to the rules. Neither of the terms you mention are nice

I made that comment and maybe you should go see the context it was used in. Im not ashamed or sorry for what I said.

Because there are certain posters who are always shoving down pregnant women and ff's throats that they think they should at least TRY and bf... Some people dont want to try. Its none of their business. Some people are perfectly capable of breastfeeding and just dont want to... Seems kind of a double standard when you let people post they think its wrong for mothers to not even try....

There is a fine line bettween offering support and information... and then looking down on those who dont TRY and breastfeed.

 

[ryder]

And tbh, when breastfeeding moms are that judgemental and rude to ff's... I feel like I am going to be embaressed or ashamed to even be in that group if I chose to bf next time. They way certain posters treat others is pathetic.

 

[Wobbles]

Ryder your talking to me like I don't know how pushy some people can get and how wrong all of us can be despite what method we use in these kind of debates not only that you know that I formula feed but although maybe not intended the point is its not talking about a few who do come across pushy sometimes blatantly say so but because it kind of starts reflecting on every single Mum who breastfeeds ...who isn't that pushy way.

Stereotyping would it be classed as? Exactly what a Mum who formula feeds doesn't want ...labelled for her choice because of someone elses opinion.

I've looked it up and its a term that is known away from BabyandBump like FF fascist is and I think both terms need to be stopped. So maybe before you take the attitude with me you should realise that it didn't actually matter WHO or HOW it was said it was simply TWO terms (one for each method) that should be stopped.

 

[jms895]

They are really beginning to piss me off with this!!!!!!!!!!!

We should all send in a 'shut the f@@k up petition' in

Sorry didnt read all the replies, I replied to page 1

That was directed at GMTV not anyone on here

 

[Pyrrhic]

They are really beginning to piss me off with this!!!!!!!!!!!

We should all send in a 'shut the f@@k up petition' in

Sorry didnt read all the replies, I replied to page 1

That was directed at GMTV not anyone on here

Don't worry, I did that too

 

[candeur]

And tbh, when breastfeeding moms are that judgemental and rude to ff's... I feel like I am going to be embaressed or ashamed to even be in that group if I chose to bf next time. They way certain posters treat others is pathetic.

I kind of feel that way too. When I think of breastfeeding, I don't instantly think of a natural, lovely way to feed your child, I think of all the women who are judgemental, forceful, and rude about how you should breastfeed, which honestly puts me off wanting to be a part of that. I know not everyone is this way though, it's just the people who are rude, and judgemental, always stand out more than the ones who are polite and understanding.

I just want to add that it isn't going to stop me from trying BF'ing next time, I'm really not that narrowminded. It's just how I find myself feeling when I read harsh posts in regards to FF.

 

[Tiff]

And tbh, when breastfeeding moms are that judgemental and rude to ff's... I feel like I am going to be embaressed or ashamed to even be in that group if I chose to bf next time. They way certain posters treat others is pathetic.

I kind of feel that way too. When I think of breastfeeding, I don't instantly think of a natural, lovely way to feed your child, I think of all the women who are judgemental, forceful, and rude about how you should breastfeed, which honestly puts me off wanting to be a part of that. I know not everyone is this way though, it's just the people who are rude, and judgemental, always stand out more than the ones who are polite and understanding.

I just want to add that it isn't going to stop me from trying BF'ing next time, I'm really not that narrowminded. It's just how I find myself feeling when I read harsh posts in regards to FF.

Me too. It's a very sensitive topic.

 

[jms895]

They are really beginning to piss me off with this!!!!!!!!!!!

We should all send in a 'shut the f@@k up petition' in

Sorry didnt read all the replies, I replied to page 1

That was directed at GMTV not anyone on here

Don't worry, I did that too

he he

 

[jms895]

And tbh, when breastfeeding moms are that judgemental and rude to ff's... I feel like I am going to be embaressed or ashamed to even be in that group if I chose to bf next time. They way certain posters treat others is pathetic.

I kind of feel that way too. When I think of breastfeeding, I don't instantly think of a natural, lovely way to feed your child, I think of all the women who are judgemental, forceful, and rude about how you should breastfeed, which honestly puts me off wanting to be a part of that. I know not everyone is this way though, it's just the people who are rude, and judgemental, always stand out more than the ones who are polite and understanding.

I just want to add that it isn't going to stop me from trying BF'ing next time, I'm really not that narrowminded. It's just how I find myself feeling when I read harsh posts in regards to FF.

I bf and have not said a single bad thing about FF. I think the topic was started about GMTV being biased (as usual) and i must admit like Lisa said - the term BF Brigade really really pisses me off..... like its bad to BF and we are some kind of bloody gang??!!!

I am friends with FF mummies, co sleeping mummies, weaners at 4 months, BLW mummies.......... why say that??

I know some BF mums are judgemental but most arnt and thats not nice

 

[Wobbles]

And tbh, when breastfeeding moms are that judgemental and rude to ff's... I feel like I am going to be embaressed or ashamed to even be in that group if I chose to bf next time. They way certain posters treat others is pathetic.

But your sort of summing up everyone in the breastfeeding as pushy then that that group is all one and are all the same despite saying 'certain posters' so why wouldn't you use the section to your advantage?

You know what gets me is comments like 'well its ok for them' when the person who said it is just as bad when it comes to defending what they do ....the fact is BOTH methods should just be accepted and you know what we're all or have all been guilty of that me included - this forum other forums and in real life (friends/family) the quicker everyone can just accept the choices that are available it will be much easier for every Mum.

 

[candeur]

And tbh, when breastfeeding moms are that judgemental and rude to ff's... I feel like I am going to be embaressed or ashamed to even be in that group if I chose to bf next time. They way certain posters treat others is pathetic.

I kind of feel that way too. When I think of breastfeeding, I don't instantly think of a natural, lovely way to feed your child, I think of all the women who are judgemental, forceful, and rude about how you should breastfeed, which honestly puts me off wanting to be a part of that. I know not everyone is this way though, it's just the people who are rude, and judgemental, always stand out more than the ones who are polite and understanding.

I just want to add that it isn't going to stop me from trying BF'ing next time, I'm really not that narrowminded. It's just how I find myself feeling when I read harsh posts in regards to FF.

I bf and have not said a single bad thing about FF. I think the topic was started about GMTV being biased (as usual) and i must admit like Lisa said - the term BF Brigade really really pisses me off..... like its bad to BF and we are some kind of bloody gang??!!!

I am friends with FF mummies, co sleeping mummies, weaners at 4 months, BLW mummies.......... why say that??

I know some BF mums are judgemental but most arnt and thats not nice

I know not all BF mums aren't, that's why I said in my post that I know that not everyone is like that

 

[jms895]

And tbh, when breastfeeding moms are that judgemental and rude to ff's... I feel like I am going to be embaressed or ashamed to even be in that group if I chose to bf next time. They way certain posters treat others is pathetic.

I kind of feel that way too. When I think of breastfeeding, I don't instantly think of a natural, lovely way to feed your child, I think of all the women who are judgemental, forceful, and rude about how you should breastfeed, which honestly puts me off wanting to be a part of that. I know not everyone is this way though, it's just the people who are rude, and judgemental, always stand out more than the ones who are polite and understanding.

I just want to add that it isn't going to stop me from trying BF'ing next time, I'm really not that narrowminded. It's just how I find myself feeling when I read harsh posts in regards to FF.

I bf and have not said a single bad thing about FF. I think the topic was started about GMTV being biased (as usual) and i must admit like Lisa said - the term BF Brigade really really pisses me off..... like its bad to BF and we are some kind of bloody gang??!!!

I am friends with FF mummies, co sleeping mummies, weaners at 4 months, BLW mummies.......... why say that??

I know some BF mums are judgemental but most arnt and thats not nice

I know not all BF mums aren't, that's why I said in my post that I know that not everyone is like that

Thanks, I know it was not really aimed at you!!! Ryder, are you not sorry for the comments to people like me then????? Who has not said one bad thing yet I am part of a gang/brigade?

You are one of the most judgemental people on this forum I am afraid......

 

[leeanne]

Ahhh, this topic again and every single time it is brought up there is a huge argument and debate.

You know something, NOT ONE mother is better than another for their choice of feeding. I am so tired of all of this. I am making this comment because I have fed my babies both ways and neither are superior to another. Holy crap, let's just be done with this and say that we at least feed our babies and don't let them starve. Let's be happy that we aren't drug addicts and don't neglect our children.

What about diaper choices? Gosh, is one mother more superior for using pampers over huggies?

What about the most important aspect of bringing a child up? Love!! They don't give a shit how they were fed when they were a baby...they remember the love they were shown and the happy memories of their lives.

This debate just goes on and on. Why can't mothers who share "motherhood" and the experiences just friggin' get along?

 

[tasha41]

Before I read through this all I'm going to leave my first thought - maybe she's saying that people are so convinced BFing is THE way, the ONLY way to go (because it's promoted so heavily and, here anyway, they pretty much assume you are, and are shocked when you say you want to FF..)... that some babies/moms are having problems? I remember the mom in the room next to me had vaginal delivery and stayed in the hospital for 5 days trying to establish BFing, and didn't want to give up and go with formula as a permanent solution.. she wasn't sleeping, I could hear her crying at all hours of the day/night. I know probably an extreme case but just what I thought after first reading.

I can't see how BFing would be dangerous unless the mother is a drug addict, alcoholic, or is otherwise unwell and unable to reliably take care of herself to BF..

 

[tasha41]

I'm someone who chose to FF. There were reasons, but the biggest one was that I didn't want to BF. I had a lot of pressure to BF... my prenatal care provider made me an appointment to come in and "discuss" (or maybe get lectured on?) BFing. Dunno if it's just me but if I already have made a decision and you try to shove something else down my throat, it's going to really sour me to the idea of it.

It's not easy. Books and reading the labels can't teach you how to do it. You have to learn by doing.. and there are a lot of choices to be made. What bottles to use. Do I need to move up to the next stage nipples? Which brand of formula should I buy? Shall I go for iron-fortified that makes my baby constipated and gives her gas, but they say she MUST HAVE, or go with the sensitive stuff? Now that she's older, should I go with the stuff with Omega 3 & 6 added? What sterilization method is best? How long should I sterilize for? What temperature should I be giving it to her at? How am I going to heat this up while I'm walking through a park?

Sometimes I wish I BFed.. but not because I think feeding my darling baby girl formula is harming her or doing her an injustice of some sort, but because I wonder what it would be like. Sometimes it would have been more convenient- I fed on demand so there was no real routine with the bottle. BFing is free- no going out to buy formula. No sterilizing bottles. No fancy schmancy Dr. Browns bottles etc required!

Other times I'm thankful for not breastfeeding, I was really ill after I had Elyse for weeks. I was on 3 different antibiotic prescriptions, then I got a bunch of medications by IV, I went back into the hospital after she was born- to a ward with a C. Difficile and Norwalk virus outbreak, I spent the first week or so pretty much on the couch feeling like I was dying with fevers, chills, pain from my infection. I had a nurse coming to my house everyday until she was 3 months old, and for the first few weeks all I ate was jello, apple sauce, and pudding cups. Then drank water and took my pills. I had no energy as it were so I can't imagine breastfeeding at the same time!!

 

[mommyof3co]

Wow I haven't read through this whole thread yet, but I will, but just responding on a few things I've seen so far

I guess here in the US we are "lucky" in the sense that both sides are shown...I honestly think formula is pushed even more than breastfeeding in some ways here. But there are commercials for both, there are ads for both, and yes while everything does say that breastfeeding is best for babies...even our formula cans say that...everyone is more than aware that formula is an option if that's what you choose. But even if you are breastfeeding, which the hospitals "promote" you get formula sent home with you..how crazy is that? They send you home with a diaper bag supplied by formula companies with tons of coupons and samples. If you are formula feeding you get a certain bag and if you are breastfeeding you get another. Naturally I expected to find things helpful in the way of breastfeeding in my bag...nope, I got formula samples and tons of coupons which I thought was quite crazy.

I try not to be judgmental though maybe sometimes it seems that I am. I DO think breast is best, I do think that every mom should atleast give it a try...does that mean it will work out? Of course not. BUT I do think that since it is best for the baby that you should try. Now that's just my opinion not everyone agrees I know. But that doesn't mean I think FF are any less, bad mothers or anything else, I just don't agree with choosing to do it from the start...doesn't mean I look down on them, just not what I would do. My oldest was FF from a few weeks on because of the issues we had with BF so I most def don't have anything against formula.

I don't think that breastfeeding should be less promoted though...as natural as it's supposed to be it doesn't always come natural and it takes work and things can go wrong and I think mothers should be better prepared IF that happens so they know how to fix it. It's a learning process for both baby and mother and that info should be given and the benefits of breastmilk should be told because while it seems everyone knows that breastmilk is best for baby that's actually not really the case. Many people don't know the true benefits of it. But I don't think people should be made to feel bad if they use formula, though honestly I don't think it needs to be promoted. The choice is there, there is really no learning curve that you need to be informed about. You know the choice is there if needed, it says right on there how to prepare a bottle and all that info is right there. Your boobs don't come with a guide lol. I don't see the problem with ads about formula, someone told me on here before they don't allow that over there, I don't see why not, it's a product just like anything else. And I think it should be available for you in the hospital if that's what you choose and the drs should be just as supportive but I don't see the need to push formula like there is to inform about breastfeeding and make it more normal.

 

[tasha41]

If a mother chooses to FF from birth then I dont see a problem with them having to bring their own formula to the hospital.

As long as hospitals are consistant and the mothers are aware of this.

I remember a year ago or something there was a huge debate on BnB about this. I find it ridiculous that people expect them to hand out formula You don't expect the hospital to provide nappies, wipes, clothes, etc etc so why formula?

My hospital provided ready-to-feed brand name formula, Pampers diapers, washcloths (didn't encourage using wipes on baby's skin), little wee hospital gowns, zinc oxide cream, receiving blankets and petroleum jelly (Vaseline)..

 

[tasha41]

I FF Seren from birth, and during the last 9months I've been made to feel so guilty for FF, but I absolutely refuse to anymore.
Some comments on this thread are just bang out of order, yes yes you are pro-breastfeeding, but why do you have to put people who make a different choice down? As long as your child is getting BF then what's the problem? Why does how other mothers chose to feed their child concern you? Next time I want to try breastfeeding, but if it doesn't work out I will go back to FF without being made to feel bad about it. FF is not a last resort, it's another option, whether you like it or not. It's a shame we can all just accept that we have different opinions and leave it at that. The reasons arguements like this start is because BF's always seem to want to force their very strong opinions on how breast is best, and how FF is inadequate which offends FF's and makes them feel like they need to defend themselves, and then it goes around and around but where does it end? Can't you understand that this is a forum for FF mums aswell, and most of them are have very strong feelings of guilt (which you shouldn't) and come here as a place for support, and help on all matters, and not to have that guilt fed with comments which TBH are pretty hard to swallow. I think empathy should be a key word here.

This thread simply started as a midwife on GMTV saying that more information needs to be given on how to FF safely. What is wrong with that? It's a completely valid point, there is so much to FF, not just how to prepare a bottle which can be read on the tin. As long as there are FF babies in the world, then information on how to do it safely should always be available.

The government is never going to get everyone in the UK to breastfeed, and everyone has different reasons, so there's no reason why those who FF shouldn't be provided with more support.

This is perfect... just dragging it back out !!

 

[mommyof3co]

I'm actually totally shocked at how the hospitals over there treat FF moms.....as much as I think it would be great for every mom to BF I know that just won't happen and I can't believe they won't provide formula or info on it. And that classes don't tell you anything about it. Yes here they stress that breast is best but you also know about formula and things like that. I'm really shocked at what some people said the hospitals/doctors act like over there