Going it alone

[xxembobxx]

Really forward planning here as I'm not due until mid December!
I really want a home birth (5th and last baby ) but OH works away during the week. I have fairly quick labours so even if I let him know when I get the first twinge or waters break it will take him at least 4 hours so I have to prepare for the fact he may not make it in time.
Has anybody else had to go it alone at home? I'm pretty sure I can manage but then I'm thinking about a doula. Do you have a doula in addition to a MW?
Also I have a LO who will be 18 months by due date, I would love him to be at home but I do think he is a bit young to understand what is going on. He's a good natured baby but he does get upset if voices are raised and although I am really quiet I don't want to have to be worried about upsetting him. And if I'm alone who will look after him?
I could ask mum to be with me but tbh I'd feel a bit uncomfortable her being there for the birth. I know she would love the opportunity and I'd feel a bit mean telling her to take LO out for an hour or so.
Any ideas on how to plan it all?

 

[Nyn]

I would look into hiring a midwife if I were you. Sorry your OH might not be able to be there

 

[lozzy21]

Yes you have a doula as well as midwife. A doula is not there in a medical capacity she is there as practical and emotional support.

If you dont want your mum there i would ask her to have LO at her house or take him out for the day.

 

[Samantha675]

I am having a doula in addition to my midwives.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Yes you can have both. An inde MW in Yorkshire will cost around £3500 but they do offer installments. A doula is between £200 and £850 (again in installements) up here depending on experience. You can have a doula and have NHS mws attend your home birth which is pretty common here too. I agree with Lozzy your mum could be involved with looking after yur LO and be around in the background and still be involved. Knowing your LO has someone they are used to to are for them will probably help you to relax more and labour better. I had a client that felt a bit mean saying to their parent that they really wanted them to look after her othe children and not be there as she actually birthed. It was important that she felt comfortable so she decided to be honest and they were fine with it. It all worked out perfectly and they were there literally minutes after the baby arrived. Everyone was really happy with how it all panned out.

Most of the doulas up here provide pools and they set up and clear away everything so that hopefully your hubby will make it back just in time for the birth or will be at home when you labour and she can take care of all the practical stuff (clearing pool etc away, making food, drinks etc) while you all enjoy your new family.

 

[indigo_fairy]

I'm having a doula, and if I was in your position with the possibility of OH not guaranteed to be able to make it, I'd definitely definitely consider one. If it comes to the fact your OH is there (great ), I'm sure the extra support would still be beneficial to you all

 

[chuck]

*wrong thread*