Good/Bad reasons to wean?

[tiggertea]

you have helped reinforce my point - a large section of society, does not mean EVERY baby.

I think I speak for Jade as well when I say the idea of introducing solids is based on our own observations of OUR children, not peer pressure or any reason other than it was what we felt the individual children were in need of.

 

[jms895]

Me neither I never have listened to them

They have never got time for me, half of them are early twenties with no kids and half of them are late 50s who were advising totally different things to people like my mum etc..... a bunch of jobsworths to cover the gov. arses if you ask me.

May I ask who advised you to introduce solids early? Or was it just based on your own observations? If so, what made you decide it was time?

I don't tend to listen to HVs either, I agree with you, but I also think that in some cases it is worth getting a "professional" opinion. I don't think NHS advice should be blindly followed, or blindly disregarded IYSWIM.

I went through many other routes for a few weeks, read my journal and march mummies thread if you want to. I didnt dive into light hearted and have been very upset over the whole situation hence my comments on here. I am still BF my son and even introducing formula to fill and settle him has been a hard decision. I am one of those who said no no weaning not until 6 months etc, but I was just stupid putting dates and times on things like that. It sets you up for failure. I have been through the teething issues and tried to sort that, night waking, more milk, feeding more often, expressing, darkness in the room, possible wind, et cetc the list is endless.

At the end of the day, my son is hungry. Last night he was fed 8oz at 9pm, drained my boob at 10. Had 5oz formula at 2am (OH was on duty), woke at 4.40am and drained my boob, then the other at 7am. I have no supply issues as I can easily pump off 10ozs no prob from both boobs.

Developmentally my son has this week started to roll over, sitting for about 5-10 seconds etc.... he sits unaided well. He takes the sppon from me and plays with the food himself, he is very interested in it and obviously wants to eat it.

I would never give my child food for the sake of it and to get him to sleep, it is a hard decision but I have made it this way and now he is more settled and happier in himself.

I just hate to be made to feel like a shit mother when I obviously am not and have done the best I can to eliminate the causes of his unsettled nights etc...

I have spoken to NO professionals..... the professionals to me are competent family and friends who have successfully brought up clever, bright, physically fit children who can advise me objectively and not make me feel like a failure for doing it.

 

[MummyCat]

It troubles me that people are offended by how others decide to raise their own children. Just as adults have different routines and eating habits... so do babies. I agree with Debz (tiggertea) and Jade (jms895) that all babies develop at different rates and may need food suppliments earlier or later than others. Suppliments... in addition to milk...not in place of milk.

Who are we to tell another mother that they are doing it wrong?? They may not be doing it by the NHS, WHO, UNICEF or Kellysmom exact guidelines... but what does that matter in the long run? Those organisations don't look after your child 24-7. This applies to Mum's weaning late as well as early as well as exactly as the guidelines advise... you have your reasons for doing it your way and i can't see it's an issue unless the child is being harmed... in which case the HV or doctors will advise if the child's weight has dropped or gained too much. Surely this is common sense???????

Some children sleep well, other don't. Some children eat well, others don't. Parenting is difficult enough without others trying to make you do it their way - be it people trying to force you to wean early or people trying to force you to wean late or people trying to force you to wean by guidelines.

I don't feel I need to tell you what my decision is... because I believe that I've been fair to either side in my post... so what does it really matter how I'm raising my daughter?? Other than to say she's a happy loving child who doesn't have a worry in the world because she has a mummy and daddy who love her dearly and will never want to see her come to any harm!

 

[Demeter]

I just think it's interesting that so many babies are exceptions

Every parent makes their own decisions based on what they feel is best, I agree with that, but can any of you begin to possibly, maybe accept that perhaps some parents don't have all the best information on which to make the decision?

My girls both weaned in their own time after six months, and I'm very glad they didn't give me reason to question what was best for them or compromise on what I believe to be in their best interests in the long run. But perhaps my children are the exception in this part of the world?

I wonder if in parts of the world where early weaning has never been in fashion parents have all this trouble?

 

[sparkswillfly]

I have to agree with Demeter. It strikes me that more parents wean at 4 months than after 6 months. A lot more in fact.

And thats not me telling anybody they are wrong either.

 

[MummyCat]

I just think it's interesting that so many babies are exceptions

Every parent makes their own decisions based on what they feel is best, I agree with that, but can any of you begin to possibly, maybe accept that perhaps some parents don't have all the best information on which to make the decision?

I wonder if in parts of the world where early weaning has never been in fashion parents have all this trouble?

I don't disagree with you on that fact at all.. some people don't have all that info... but if a Mum is on this site... then I feel positive they are aware of the standard guidelines and the effects early or late weaning can have on their child. They will be on this site purely because they need a community of Mum's for support and advice.

There will be other mothers in this country who don't have the information, either because they don't read the book given by the hospital or they don't take their child to the HV/doctor, but us debating this issue is going to have no effect on those mothers as they wouldn't be here to read it! (does that make sense? it does in my head!!)

I was raised in a 3rd world country.... a place where poverty and starvation was an issue for the majority of the population. I don't think weaning early or late was a concern for them... I think the survival of their children was what mattered and by any way necessary. There was limited schooling and health services... so they had no one to critisise(sp?).. they would do as their mothers taught them.

I think we should count ourselves lucky that we are in a position that this sort of issue is a concern.

 

[Demeter]

I hate seeing people type research with scare quotes around it! Like it's all made up or something! Why don't people believe the research?! That drives me bonkers. If you are going to wean early, fine, do it, if that is what you really believe is best for YOUR baby, but why try to make out like the research is a pack of lies? I think that's remarkably petty and immature

 

[tiggertea]

because that comment was aimed at me, i'll respond again.

i used the quotes around research because (as i have stated before) those quoting certain research, only choose to quote sources that suit their argument. Objective views are rarely used to reinforce points. So, until these non-biased OBJECTIVE reviews are quoted, I will continue to quote-unquote words as i see fit The fact you find my views and way of expressing these "remarkably petty and immature" doesn't bother me. Sorry

 

[FierceAngel]

i did type out a reply but im not intrested in arguing whoich is what it will lead to..

babies are unique my daughter is not an exception because she was weaned at 4 months..

i dont push people to wean at 4 months its their choice for their child therefor i dont want people telling me i shouldnt wean early..

i didnt wean luisa out of curisoity..

 

[asacia]

because that comment was aimed at me, i'll respond again.

i used the quotes around research because (as i have stated before) those quoting certain research, only choose to quote sources that suit their argument. Objective views are rarely used to reinforce points. So, until these non-biased OBJECTIVE reviews are quoted, I will continue to quote-unquote words as i see fit The fact you find my views and way of expressing these "remarkably petty and immature" doesn't bother me. Sorry

Can I ask why the following groups aren't objective?

• World Health Organization
• UNICEF
• US Department of Health & Human Services
• American Academy of Pediatrics
• American Academy of Family Physicians
• American Dietetic Association
• Australian National Health and Medical Research Council
• Royal Australian College of General Practitioners
• Health Canada

I'm all for discussion and sharing of information, so if you have any sources that offer conflicting information and research, please share!

 

[Emsy26]

I won't listen to proffesionals, nor will i be pressured into weaning Theo early or late. He will be weaned when I believe he is ready, no-one else x

 

[FierceAngel]

I won't listen to proffesionals, nor will i be pressured into weaning Theo early or late. He will be weaned when I believe he is ready, no-one else x

ecactly how it should be!

 

[Demeter]

I don't disagree with you on that fact at all.. some people don't have all that info... but if a Mum is on this site... then I feel positive they are aware of the standard guidelines and the effects early or late weaning can have on their child. They will be on this site purely because they need a community of Mum's for support and advice.

There will be other mothers in this country who don't have the information, either because they don't read the book given by the hospital or they don't take their child to the HV/doctor, but us debating this issue is going to have no effect on those mothers as they wouldn't be here to read it! (does that make sense? it does in my head!!)

I have seen so many threads on this site started by women wondering if their baby is ready for solids or not, or asking if their baby's weight gain is ok, or asking what they should be feeding their child etc. I think a lot of mums use this site to find out information and seek advice and I don't see the point of withholding information or advice from people who ask for it

Unless you think they are not really wanting advice but approval? And tbh, if someone wants approval for a parenting decision it usually means they have doubts about it.

If the users of this site do have all the information I wonder what is compelling so many of them to disregard it or decide that it doesn't apply to them?

I was raised in a 3rd world country.... a place where poverty and starvation was an issue for the majority of the population. I don't think weaning early or late was a concern for them... I think the survival of their children was what mattered and by any way necessary. There was limited schooling and health services... so they had no one to critisise(sp?).. they would do as their mothers taught them.

I think we should count ourselves lucky that we are in a position that this sort of issue is a concern.

I agree. But I would still love to know what tradition they maintain? If the health of their children is paramount what decisions do parents make and on what basis? Prior to the fashion for early weaning in Europe babies were BF well into childhood and not given anything other than milk for many months. In countries untouched by this early weaning fashion is this still the case? If it weren't for the profit-driven interference of corporations like Neslte then I'm sure feeding traditions would still be perfectly healthy in these countries.

 

[lesleyann]

I will wean my son when he seems ready for it, i will not let anyone else push me to do what they want, Yes i want to get as close to 6months as possible but i understand that cannot always happen.



And as to everyone thinking there the exp, have you spoken to Everyone? thats like the whole 3 in 1 people have this, it does not mean that just because you have 3 friends one of them has it to be honest because you might not no the 1 person but then at the same time all your friends might seem to be that 1 person. Just because it says 1 in 3, who;s to say most of the 1's are not all near each other or on the same forum, work at the same place ect

Unless you speak to every person you will never no, if everyone thinks there baby is far more advanced than everyone else's there for needs to be weaned early, Some babys are just very hungry some babys can go ages before they want more food.

Its like adults though some adults can just eat and eat and eat others have 3meals 1 snack and there done for day, everyone is different.

 

[Demeter]

Just because your baby is hungry it doesn't mean their gut is capable of digesting food

And no, obviously I have not personally spoken to every parent in the world, but I am more inclined to trust the independent research of literally tens of thousands of children the world over, than a few internet forum comments about how hungry their privileged British kids are! Sorry.

 

[asacia]

Thats one thing I wonder about, hungry babies. Is there any known risks or problems associated with being a hungry baby? I've got a hungry LO, so I just feed him on demand. Does anyone know of any problems with this?

 

[lesleyann]

Just because your baby is hungry it doesn't mean their gut is capable of digesting food

And no, obviously I have not personally spoken to every parent in the world, but I am more inclined to trust the independent research of literally tens of thousands of children the world over, than a few internet forum comments about how hungry their privileged British kids are! Sorry.

Im sorry but i really did not see a point for the section i highlighted, what has being British got a thing to do with weaning ?

 

[MummyCat]

I have seen so many threads on this site started by women wondering if their baby is ready for solids or not, or asking if their baby's weight gain is ok, or asking what they should be feeding their child etc. I think a lot of mums use this site to find out information and seek advice and I don't see the point of withholding information or advice from people who ask for it

Unless you think they are not really wanting advice but approval? And tbh, if someone wants approval for a parenting decision it usually means they have doubts about it.

If the users of this site do have all the information I wonder what is compelling so many of them to disregard it or decide that it doesn't apply to them?

I think they want the advise of people who have been in a similar situation, to see what others have done and what the results were and once they have enough responses... they can use this information and the results to guide them to a decision that's right for them! Whether that means they hang on and wait or whether that means they try the baby with baby rice/fruit/veg/BLW.

I'd rather people ask the question... have a whole bunch of responses from Mum's than decide... the guidlines say 6 months so not a drop of food will touch my baby's mouth till after that... or that they force the baby to start eating at 6 months even if the baby's not ready!

The point I was trying to make is that regardless of whether they're looking for aproval or just trying to get an idea of what to do to help their baby... their decision is their decision and they will do what's right for them. It may not be right for you, or me or the next person... but that doesn't matter... unless you will be leaving your child in that person's care and concerned that they may try raise your child differently to you.

I agree. But I would still love to know what tradition they maintain? If the health of their children is paramount what decisions do parents make and on what basis? Prior to the fashion for early weaning in Europe babies were BF well into childhood and not given anything other than milk for many months. In countries untouched by this early weaning fashion is this still the case? If it weren't for the profit-driven interference of corporations like Neslte then I'm sure feeding traditions would still be perfectly healthy in these countries.

I lived in africa... where they have no clean water and no toilets or electricity and no education. The tradtion they maintained was survival. I'm not being funny but we are in a very privileged position. I do see your point and it may be interesting to hear from people outside the UK as to what the norm is there and whether they also find a lot of people weaning early! Just bear in mind... a few years ago... 4 months was not early... it was the right time... a few years before that... 3 months was not early... it was the right time.

When this was the case... my mother and MIL managed to raise my brother and I, my husband and his sister and none of us have ANY allergies to food. None of us have digestive issues.

It's good that people are informed of the guidlines but after that it's their decision to make.

 

[helen1234]

Just because your baby is hungry it doesn't mean their gut is capable of digesting food

And no, obviously I have not personally spoken to every parent in the world, but I am more inclined to trust the independent research of literally tens of thousands of children the world over, than a few internet forum comments about how hungry their privileged British kids are! Sorry.

i'm not sure how that is supposed to be taken.

why are you getting so het up, you wean your baby when you feel right and other people when they feel right.

if i was to ask a doctor right now when i weaned my daughter who is nearly 15yrs old, i bet you a million pound they couldnt answer it.

 

[polo_princess]

Just because your baby is hungry it doesn't mean their gut is capable of digesting food

And no, obviously I have not personally spoken to every parent in the world, but I am more inclined to trust the independent research of literally tens of thousands of children the world over, than a few internet forum comments about how hungry their privileged British kids are! Sorry.

What has that got to do with anything?

Ive seen a quite a few posts from you across a couple of weaning threads and you are constantly digging at mothers who wean early. Every child is different and there are geniunley some children who need to be weaned early, why do you think the guidelines keep changing back and forth?

Please dont go around judging people based on what you have seen elsewhere, its not nice and im sure you wouldnt like to be judged and crtiticised on your parenting skills.