Good Idea or Stupid? Opinions please?

[mummy1985]

Here's a bit of background. I'm currently waiting to test as I've had some symptoms this month, although we said no to another one so soon, we were both well aware that we weren't using any b/c. Hubby then dropped the bombshell that actually he would be pleased if I was pg again and now I'm finding myself wanting another one

Our situation is that we are living in a 2 bed flat (not ideal with 1 baby let alone 2) I'm currently out of work and I'm struggling to find a job. We want to be in a house but we are in negative equity and can't afford to move for probably at least 2 years and that's if I find a decently paid job soon.

So here's what I need your opinions on....should we actively try for another one, I'll take a break from work to look after them and try to find a career when they are older, when hopefully the job market etc has picked up or should I get a job now, move, then have another in 3-4 years?

Part of me is thinking that if we wait to have another child we might still not be in a better position in 3-4 years and I'll have to pay childcare for DD1 now and then childcare for no 2 when he/she comes around when I might as well have them both now and be at home with them both (I really want to be around for them and don't want to have to put them in childcare)

What do you think? Sorry it's soooo long I just can't talk about it with friends and family as they will think I'm mad for wanting another so soon.

 

[vickytoria88]

theres never a right time to have children. i think you need to discuss it more with your partner

 

[mummy1985]

I'm going to speak to him tonight and see what his real opinion is. I mean it's one thing to say he would like another but he probably hasn't thought that through properly himself!

 

[Chellxx]

This sounds abit like us, we had an "accident" this month and i had some pg symptoms when i tested bfn and now im dissapointed lol. We are moving abroad in 3 weeks so the timing is completley impractical for us but we have decided to ntnp - although the ovulation sticks arrived this morning lol. I dont think there is ever a good time to have a baby but it will work out, some people get to stuck in a rut to ever have the other baby they wanted but i dont think you will look back and regret a baby once he/she is here. xx

 

[heather72589]

I am a firm believer that no one is ever completely ready for a child, you may not be able to give your children everything they ever wanted, but I think that everyone makes it work. I honestly do not know how I would have enough time for 2 babies, but its because I do not have two babies, finances usually have funny way of working themselves out... maybe you could do at home babysitting as well so you can get some extra money coming in and still be at home with the kiddos... hope this helps!!

 

[hardworknmama]

When you say two bed flat does that mean you have only two bedrooms or only two rooms? We live in a two bedroom house and have the boys sharing a room, we would have also had them share had they be opposite sexes. When they are younger they don't take up that much room so having them share isn't bad. I think you just need to sit down with OH and really discuss all of your thoughts, good and bad, on having another one so soon. Maybe even make a list of pros and cons for both having one now and waiting. Everything will fall into place, whichever way you decide to go.

 

[bunda]

There never is a right time for having a baby. So much can change in the nine months of pregnancy. I mean, even if you waited until all conditions were 'perfect' , you never know, something could still crop up in that time to change it all.

You could wait and wait until all is right and then three months into pregnancy be made redundant. You'd still cope though, right? You figure something out. Waiting for a perfect time is not that useful, since perfect now might not be perfect 9 months from now (or two years from now, or ten years from now... babies take a long time to become adults, after all)
Children is a life-long change. You can't really have a perfect time. Too much of the future is unknowable.
I'm currently looking for work, and my OH has just taken a low-paid job. We've decided we're going to TTC #1 now because time is more valuable than money right now (I'm 34, he's 44) we'd rather run out of money than run out of time.