Good news kinda

[honeybunch2k7]

What a rollercoster dear! 5 years? Is he mad?I am going through a similar thing with my guy. He is so worried about money, and my health, and loads of other stuff. I think it would be so much easier if we had an "accident"

I think so. My grandma agrees with him,too, so now he really won't change his mind. In fact, she tried to make me promise her I wouldn't get pregnant until after I graduated. Um, no!!!

OMG I think I'm going to die!!!

I know what's gonna happen. I'll graduate, then he still wont want a baby. Then he'll say,"Oh let's wait a few more years to get your career off the ground."

So sorry that he says you have to wait that long. My OH is also wanting me to wait until i finish my degree before we can try and like you i'm sure that once that happens in 2 years he'll come up with another reason that i'll have to wait a few years more.

I know how you're feeling, and i'm sorry to hear of all the stuff he said to you about only wanting a baby because everyone else has one, that's awful!

I know, I had to call him out on it!!! That's what my family thinks as well. So I'm very alone in wanting to add to the family. My mom just had a talk with me about how I shouldn't have a baby until I go thru college and get my career off the ground. Not everyone can or wants to wait 5+ years for a babe.

 

[honeybunch2k7]

Its so tricky - you could wait all that time for nothing!
I think men need to be eased into the idea of having babies.

I was a proud non-parent - just seeing the hassle and financial drain - until I hit 30 and then its like something clicked and now I'm desperate to start a family.

But... I think your bloke isn't going to have that switch.
Is he open to talking about it at all?

My bloke has asked that we wait 'till Jan 2010.
But I can't stop talking about it and he's joining in conversations about parenting techniques and learning about baby nutrition and everything - he seems to be taking it all in....

Maybe you need to chip away at it...

He'll talk with me about it, but won't change his position. I mean dang, what's the big deal? We were going to go thru it anyway.

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I know how you feel, my OH is exactly the same. And doesn't understand that waiting that long seems almost impossible to me why are men so slow to mature?! Lol

 

[honeybunch2k7]

I know how you feel, my OH is exactly the same. And doesn't understand that waiting that long seems almost impossible to me why are men so slow to mature?! Lol

*sigh*
Sometimes men are the biggest babies jk. I dont see how he or anyone could possibly expect me to wait such a long time without going insane.

 

[honeybunch2k7]

So we talked about it some more. He says he's really afraid of me getting pp depression, wanting baby after baby after baby, and about my education.

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Sorry not replied for ages, had no net for a few days. I don't know what to suggest really hun, education can always be put on hold if need be. It's not like once you had a child it would be impossible. And a lot of people get depression after having children, but there are many ways to treat it. Hope he comes round x

 

[honeybunch2k7]

^True. It's not like college is going to grow legs and run away. I can go back at some point. I could always learn a trade or two.

He does have a good point about the depression. I'm high risk for ppp b/c I recently had a death in my family.

 

[nightkd]

He does have a good point about the depression. I'm high risk for ppp b/c I recently had a death in my family.

It's not definate that you will though, that's your decision at the end of the day. I can't believe he changed so drastically! 5 years?! I found that when I stopped pushing my BF so much about TTC he seemed to ease up about the idea a bit.

Perhaps take a break from thinking about it, or at least mentioning it (I know it's hard) and then sit down, just the pair of you, and discuss how YOU feel.

 

[honeybunch2k7]

It's not definite that I'll get ppp, but I'd probably get some counseling beforehand and after babe most likely. I'm also at risk b/c I can feel isolated due to lack of family support (mom really gets on my case).

Lately I've been trying really hard not to ask for a baby. I didn't ask all today, I dont think i asked yesterday. That's doing REALLY good for me.

5 years is waaay to long, I can't believe he changed so drastically.