calm
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2009
- Messages
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I think I might have mentioned this before is some way, but I felt it so strongly a minute ago I had to come running and share it with you all, I sometimes feel like there is an uncontrollable different identity in me, dormant, waiting, but every now an again, it shows itself. When does it show itself? Only sometimes, not always, when things to do with babies appear.
Let me explain myself, because its not exactly classical broodiness I am referring to. I was feeling absolutely fine, happy, watching the tele and biting into a biscuit, and then, you can hear a baby cry in the programme. I don't burst into tears, I'm not uspet, but my eyes fill with tears and my chest becomes tight, and there is a strong emotion there, extremely strong, it likes comes out of a place I cant describe and takes over. As I say, I am not sad, don't feel sad, just extremely emotional. Then it goes away. Like a passing mist. I get this when I see or hear a baby, I am quite glad to say, it doesnt happen a lot, but enough to make me pay attention and listen to myself in astonishment.
I have always wanted kids, and have gone through moments of stronger broodiness, and other moments I didn't give it too much thought. For me the worse trigger was seeing my husband's aunty with her LO. When I saw her, I was not prepared for what I felt. I was just stunned, and I was taken over by this feeling, I just keep feeling the need to go out as my eyes would fill with tears. I was like hypnotized. My husband held her in his arms and smiled at me, they looked so beautiful... ever since then the identity has been very much present. I don't know if when comes the times I will get pregnant soon or not, if I will be fertile or whatever, but I can really say that my body and mind is screaming out to "evolve", yes, just like a pokemon, into "mother", and as a pokemon I have to work at it, if I want to evolve into "mother"
P.S. Yes, I know, I have just talked about serious subjects, and then compared myself to a pokemon, I like playing pokemon! so what?
Let me explain myself, because its not exactly classical broodiness I am referring to. I was feeling absolutely fine, happy, watching the tele and biting into a biscuit, and then, you can hear a baby cry in the programme. I don't burst into tears, I'm not uspet, but my eyes fill with tears and my chest becomes tight, and there is a strong emotion there, extremely strong, it likes comes out of a place I cant describe and takes over. As I say, I am not sad, don't feel sad, just extremely emotional. Then it goes away. Like a passing mist. I get this when I see or hear a baby, I am quite glad to say, it doesnt happen a lot, but enough to make me pay attention and listen to myself in astonishment.
I have always wanted kids, and have gone through moments of stronger broodiness, and other moments I didn't give it too much thought. For me the worse trigger was seeing my husband's aunty with her LO. When I saw her, I was not prepared for what I felt. I was just stunned, and I was taken over by this feeling, I just keep feeling the need to go out as my eyes would fill with tears. I was like hypnotized. My husband held her in his arms and smiled at me, they looked so beautiful... ever since then the identity has been very much present. I don't know if when comes the times I will get pregnant soon or not, if I will be fertile or whatever, but I can really say that my body and mind is screaming out to "evolve", yes, just like a pokemon, into "mother", and as a pokemon I have to work at it, if I want to evolve into "mother"
P.S. Yes, I know, I have just talked about serious subjects, and then compared myself to a pokemon, I like playing pokemon! so what?
