Got scan date but feel guilty :(

[im_mi]

So yeah, i called my midwife earlier and she says she has set me up a scan on wed. 17th at 8:30am. However, she then told me that they wont scan for reassurance reasons after miscarriages so she told them a white lie - that i have been having abdominal pain.

My first reaction was that i was really really happy, and i thought it was really sweet of her to do that for me (i didnt ask her to she already had by the time i called her) but now i feel really guilty, like i have stolen a slot from someone who might need it more than i do I mean, i guess if the midwife thinks that i am worthy enough of a scan after two losses then perhaps i am but i just read so many things about women who have ectopics and have to wait for days and days for a scan and i just feel bad

Should i call her and tell her to cancel it? I really want to go to it and it would really help me stop feeling anxious but i just feel like i am stealing the appointment from someone more deserving what do you girls think?

 

[wallace272]

i think id feel the same as you but if you think of it like this that your entitled to that scan , the worry you must be going through i cant imagine to be easy at all !! and itll put your mind at rest so i think you should go !!

 

[babytots]

Oh sweetie try not to feel too guilty if the m/w was willing to tell a white lie to get a scan for you then she must think its a good idea iykwim.

When pg with Jessica my doc told a lil white lie to the epu so I could get an early scan. I too felt guilty that I was getting a scan when someone else may need it but after 2 losses I was so scared to lose another and it was so reassuring to see her on that screen happy and healthy (just shame I never got to meet her) x

 

[im_mi]

thank you guys, thats really reassuring. Leigh its so sad about little jessica. sending you big hugs xxxxx

 

[Drazic<3]

I have considered doing this once or twice and to be honest, the only thing that stops me is being too scared to have a scan. We have been through so much, and the reassurance will be beneficial too you. I assure you darling you will not be the first or the last to tell a white lie for the medical attention we should have after one loss, not over three. Good luck for your scan darling. Mine is 4 days after that if you want to go mental together!

 

[ALH28]

Keep it!! Don't feel guilty! You are just as entitled to it x

 

[Smiler13]

Don't feel bad! There are times in life when you just have to think about yourself, not worry about everyone else, and perhaps this is just one of those times.

 

[Bingo]

Keep it, keep it, KEEP IT! I can understand how you're feeling, I would feel the same but the fact is that everyone should be entitled to an early scan after a miscarriage. The midwife was comfortable with telling a little white lie for you so that is that. I bet it happens all the time.

I hope you have a wonderful scan.

 

[FierceAngel]

KEEP IT!

im going to have one at 6-7 weekswith or with out pain/bleeding however mines more to do with the fact that i have started medication for this pregnancy and obv if it isnt working out i need to stop the meds iykwim!

xxx

 

[coccyx]

At least you have been unfortunate to have had a miscarriage, its those that lie who haven't that piss me off. Good luck with it

 

[mordino]

At least you have been unfortunate to have had a miscarriage, its those that lie who haven't that piss me off. Good luck with it

I agree with coccyx. Good luck!

 

[BeanieBaby]

I am just so annoyed she told you she had to tell a white lie, she must have known she was guilt tripping you! Its not as if you haven't got enough to worry about without feeling guilty on top. Try to put it to the back of your mind, you're just as deserving as the next person for a scan. Just because you haven't been bleeding or cramping doesn't mean you're less entitled to one. If you have had a previous mc you're surely deserving of reassurance as i'm not sure what type of mc you had but some people suffer from silent/missed miscarriages where they have had no signs at all and we in this section all know of the risks and that's why we all feel anxious regardless of whether we've had any danger signs. I am sure everything will be fine at your scan and if so then please don't feel like you've wasted resources as its just not true.

Will be thinking of you on Weds. Good luck.

xxx

 

[im_mi]

thank you guys for your reassurance beanie, i think she had to tell me because when i get to the emergency scanning place they are likely to ask me where the pains have been etc. i do still feel bad about lying, especially as it wasnt my choice to lie in the first place, but it will be very reassuring to know my flump is okay.

 

[BeanieBaby]

Of course didn't think of that. Hopefully you'll have a really nice sonographer. Good luck, will be out most of the day on Weds so won't have access onto here until the eve but will look out for your update then. Am sure you'll be celebrating seeing your little beanie in all his/her glory, heartbeat and all! xxx