Grieving a "Chemical Pregnancy"

[maria2611]

I'm going through this at the moment. Just started bleeding today . I was pregnant, now I'm not. It's a loss and I'm definitely grieving it.

Good luck for the future. Feel free to message me if you want to chat.

 

[maria2611]

Not to attempt to change the way anyone feels, but i would be thrilled for any sign of pregnancy at all. 13 months TTC and we haven't ever had so much as a faint line, which is terribly discouraging for my DH who is afraid any issues we have are with him. It's ok to be happy that you've had an indication of pregnancy just as it's ok to be devastated by the fact things didn't stick and continue on. The good news is that its good news, the promise of the future, and thats something to be thankful for *hug*

A bit insensitive

Yes it's an indicator that you can get pregnant. But when you get that positive test you think about the future and to have that ripped away from you sucks!! I think you would feel a bit different about this if you got your long awaited positive and something happened. Yes it would be something, but you would still be excited and think about the future, you wouldn't immediately think of it as 'i can get pregnant' .

I hope you get your bfp soon and everything goes fine

 

[DHBH0930]

I'm going through this at the moment. Just started bleeding today . I was pregnant, now I'm not. It's a loss and I'm definitely grieving it.

Good luck for the future. Feel free to message me if you want to chat.

Thanks! Good luck for you too.. I'm so sorry for your loss too.

 

[DHBH0930]

I love the way you own your feelings and refuse to let anyone else invalidate them. Hopefully, your sticky BFP is right around the corner.

Thank you so much....hope you get your BFP soon too!

 

[DHBH0930]

I'm sorry hun Any loss of a much wanted baby at any stage is devastating x

Thank you so much... I know it doesn't come close to comparing with what you have gone through though. I read your story and it broke my heart, I'm so sorry that happened to you and your family.

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm sorry hun Any loss of a much wanted baby at any stage is devastating x

Thank you so much... I know it doesn't come close to comparing with what you have gone through though. I read your story and it broke my heart, I'm so sorry that happened to you and your family.

Pain is Pain hun, whether thats a loss at 4 weeks, 40 weeks, or after birth. Hope you are ok as can be x

 

[DHBH0930]

Thank you everyone for your I'm doing much better now. It still bums me out to think about it, but I'm ready for this cycle and hope it brings a BFP that sticks! I am glad to see that I was able to get a bfp, but knowing that it's possible for me to get pregnant doesn't make it any easier when it doesn't stick. I understand it happens a lot and chances are something was wrong with it, and of course I want it to be healthy. I'm grateful my body figured that out as soon as it did, since it would have been much harder had I been farther along. Again, knowing all that it still saddens me to think about the fact that I was pregnant and now I'm not.

I'm moving on and hopeful that I will soon get my BFP that will stick

 

[mamaofthree]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think you put this really well, and totally summed up how I felt after my chemical. In some ways it was more cruel than my twelve week mc because I was not 'clinically' pregnant, and no-one understands how heartbreaking it is other than women who have experienced this. It's a nasty trick to give a woman a positive hpt then take it away. Fingers crossed for you soon sweetie. xxx

 

[DHBH0930]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think you put this really well, and totally summed up how I felt after my chemical. In some ways it was more cruel than my twelve week mc because I was not 'clinically' pregnant, and no-one understands how heartbreaking it is other than women who have experienced this. It's a nasty trick to give a woman a positive hpt then take it away. Fingers crossed for you soon sweetie. xxx

I agree, other then that stick with a line on it there is no proof you were ever pregnant. It was so early that I hadn't told anyone other then my husband. And now that stick is gone and it's like it never happened, which is so weird and depressing. It makes it feel like it wasn't real and was just a dream, but it was real to me!

 

[felix555]

Not to attempt to change the way anyone feels, but i would be thrilled for any sign of pregnancy at all. 13 months TTC and we haven't ever had so much as a faint line, which is terribly discouraging for my DH who is afraid any issues we have are with him. It's ok to be happy that you've had an indication of pregnancy just as it's ok to be devastated by the fact things didn't stick and continue on. The good news is that its good news, the promise of the future, and thats something to be thankful for *hug*

Truly insensitive post. "I am jealous you had a miscarriage" wow

OP I am very sorry for your loss. I went through this myself and hated the term chemical pregnancy (mine was between 6 and 7 weeks) it was my first and I was so excited and for it to be taken away is devastating. Just take care of yourself.

 

[Ariannda]

I never said that, and i have spoken with the OP

My intent was not to be insensitive, and had i wished to be insensitive or hurtful or malicious i wouldn't have posted at all. My post is being taken out of context and as the OP and i have spoken i would be happy if no more comments were made on the subject of it.

If you feel my post was insensitive, and several people have felt that way, please understand that was never my intent. I apologize

 

[BaniVani]

DHBH0930

Hello,
Sounds like what is happening to me. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm having a miscarriage. I would have been a bit over 4 weeks...had all the symptoms of being preg: Sore boobs, constipation, tiredness, food aversions etc.
Now however, I currently have horrible back and tummy pains and have been on my sofa for hours-the pain is so bad. It comes like every 4 minutes.
Background:
_Tested this past Tuesday & Wed morning -had a positive test .
_Thursday tested negative??? Was sad but thought it might be too early...
Pms should have arrived on the 4th of Feb but arrived on the 8th light to heavy.
Now my pains are so bad...I've never had a period like this.


I was teary-eyed reading your story. Hope for the both of us that a healthy pregnancy comes our way...Please keep us updated.

 

[DHBH0930]

I never said that, and i have spoken with the OP

My intent was not to be insensitive, and had i wished to be insensitive or hurtful or malicious i wouldn't have posted at all. My post is being taken out of context and as the OP and i have spoken i would be happy if no more comments were made on the subject of it.

If you feel my post was insensitive, and several people have felt that way, please understand that was never my intent. I apologize

We have spoken and things are all good

 

[DHBH0930]

DHBH0930

Hello,
Sounds like what is happening to me. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm having a miscarriage. I would have been a bit over 4 weeks...had all the symptoms of being preg: Sore boobs, constipation, tiredness, food aversions etc.
Now however, I currently have horrible back and tummy pains and have been on my sofa for hours-the pain is so bad. It comes like every 4 minutes.
Background:
_Tested this past Tuesday & Wed morning -had a positive test .
_Thursday tested negative??? Was sad but thought it might be too early...
Pms should have arrived on the 4th of Feb but arrived on the 8th light to heavy.
Now my pains are so bad...I've never had a period like this.


I was teary-eyed reading your story. Hope for the both of us that a healthy pregnancy comes our way...Please keep us updated.

I'm so sorry you are going through it too My period has definitely been different then all my others too. A lot more pain, and heavier then usual. Then it started to subside and now it's getting crampy and heavy again? Just wish it was over since it keeps reminding me that I'm not pregnant

I'm in a better mood then I was a couple days ago, but I'm avoiding Facebook which is plastered with "friends" ultrasound pics and pregnancy announcements I'm happy for them but don't need a reminder that it didn't stick right now.

I hope you feel better and that you too have a healthy pregnancy soon!

 

[DHBH0930]

Not to attempt to change the way anyone feels, but i would be thrilled for any sign of pregnancy at all. 13 months TTC and we haven't ever had so much as a faint line, which is terribly discouraging for my DH who is afraid any issues we have are with him. It's ok to be happy that you've had an indication of pregnancy just as it's ok to be devastated by the fact things didn't stick and continue on. The good news is that its good news, the promise of the future, and thats something to be thankful for *hug*

Truly insensitive post. "I am jealous you had a miscarriage" wow

OP I am very sorry for your loss. I went through this myself and hated the term chemical pregnancy (mine was between 6 and 7 weeks) it was my first and I was so excited and for it to be taken away is devastating. Just take care of yourself.

Thanks, I'm sorry this has happened to you too Congrats on your current pregnancy though! When are you due?

I still have to cancel my appointment for next Monday when I was going to go in to have my first prenatal visit That's not a phone call I want to make..."Hi, sorry don't need my appointment, I'm no longer pregnant "

I'm ready for AF to go away and then the next couple weeks to fly by so we can start trying again.

 

[felix555]

Oh I do feel for you. When I had mine I was on my way to the GP. On the way walking there I could just feel AF starting quite heavily, got to the GP's office and obviously had to go in it was the cruelest thing ever. I was sitting there crying saying I was just coming to get referred to the MW but obviously now I don't know. He was not that sensitive about it "this is a good thing at least you know you can get pregnant" "most pregnancies end like this without people realising" "it's nature's way as there could potentially been something wrong it it" obviously not the best day of my life.

This was last year march, i got pregnant 3 cycles later and due 16th of march if that helps any. I do not like to tak about pregnancy too much on the TTC boards though as i feel that's insensitive to those TTC.

The cycle after my loss I did not ovulate and had a slightly longer cycle, it corrected it by the month after.

Good luck!

 

[BaniVani]

Nice to hear that you are pregnant! Hope all goes well As for myself, thank God the pains have diminished after two pain killers... I'm going to see a doc tomorrow morning just to be on the safe side. What I have is just not a normal PMS--I was walking around like a hunched-over-100 year old lady . My stomach felt swollen from the pain inside and my back was killing me. When I'd stand on my feet, it felt even worse. It was definitely a miscarriage.

 

[DHBH0930]

Oh I do feel for you. When I had mine I was on my way to the GP. On the way walking there I could just feel AF starting quite heavily, got to the GP's office and obviously had to go in it was the cruelest thing ever. I was sitting there crying saying I was just coming to get referred to the MW but obviously now I don't know. He was not that sensitive about it "this is a good thing at least you know you can get pregnant" "most pregnancies end like this without people realising" "it's nature's way as there could potentially been something wrong it it" obviously not the best day of my life.

This was last year march, i got pregnant 3 cycles later and due 16th of march if that helps any. I do not like to tak about pregnancy too much on the TTC boards though as i feel that's insensitive to those TTC.

The cycle after my loss I did not ovulate and had a slightly longer cycle, it corrected it by the month after.

Good luck!

Yeah, the doctor could have handled that better. Even though that stuff IS true "you are capable of getting pregnant, there was probably something wrong with it, etc" it is NOT what you want to hear as it is happening or immediately after it happens to you. I understand all that right now, but it's been almost a week now and it doesn't change how I felt about it happening.

That's what I was wondering, how long after it took you to get pregnant again. I hear that many women are more fertile the cycle after a mc. I would love it if that were the case for me!

 

[DHBH0930]

Nice to hear that you are pregnant! Hope all goes well As for myself, thank God the pains have diminished after two pain killers... I'm going to see a doc tomorrow morning just to be on the safe side. What I have is just not a normal PMS--I was walking around like a hunched-over-100 year old lady . My stomach felt swollen from the pain inside and my back was killing me. When I'd stand on my feet, it felt even worse. It was definitely a miscarriage.

Hope everything is okay and that the pain goes away soon

AFM: I *think* my period is over. However I thought that yesterday and then I suddenly had more cramps and bleeding...

 

[BaniVani]

Well I woke up at 3am today to cramps--felt really sick until about 7 in the morning. I went to see my doctor who scheduled a few tests for me. Said the gruesome pains I had this morning and yesterday was more than likely my body trying to clean itself after a miscarriage.

I came home and told me husband.
He's been a bit quiet the last few days which was bothering me.
But then he kissed me and said he felt sorry. He said that our baby would have been born in October. It made me feel a bit better that he was acknowledging our loss. I fell asleep at around 11 and he had prepared lunch for me. So very kind. I told him we'll just have to try again but on one hand, I'm scared to go through this same discomfort . I hope that I will not have another MC.

Some ladies maybe having cramps and their baby's are perfectly fine. The cramps that I had were very very painful and I had heavy bleeding with clots. So, I don't mean to scare anybody. Always consult your doctor if you're having abnormal symptoms.