Grr...I'm fuming now!

[Ashersmomma]

A friend of my DHs was asking me today how I was feeling. I told her I was doing pretty well these days other than my hips hurting and being exhausted. And asked her how she felt as well(she is expecting her first child just 2 1/2 weeks before me) Her response was she can understand the hip pain, but at least I don't have to work like she does. Excuse me? I would love to be able to work and have regular breaks, and weekends and holidays off, and to be able to take a sick day. But instead I have a 2 yr old. I don't know if this is just me being overly sensitive or what, but this really irritates me To me there isn't a better way to insult or piss off a SAHM mom than to insinuate that she doesn't work.

 

[RaspberryK]

Working is often easier than a toddler. She will learn
Xx

 

[luvymom]

I would've been mad too! Being a sahm is hard! And it's hard being a sahm and pregnant! I hate when people feel the need to compare.

 

[Mommy2missR]

Yeah that was really bitchy of her. Could be my pregnancy hormones sympathizing with you, but that would piss me off royally too.

 

[sue_88]

You're probably way over thinking it, and I doubt she meant any malice, just a comment because she doesn't have a child yet.

Hormones I'd say, just let it go & not bother you.

 

[cjwn]

Edited.

 

[Dobsd]

As a first time mum to be, I can understand why she would say that. I personally have no idea how hard it must be looking after a toddler whilst pregnant. All I see is 'oh that lady doesn't have to go to work every day!'... I doubt she meant anything bad by it, just doesn't have a clue how hard it must be for you. I wouldn't take it personally!

 

[mandaa1220]

Oooff she's crazy. Being home with a toddler 24/7 sounds way more difficult when you're pregnant than working (I mean I guess it depends on what your job is though). For me, working has become so exhausting and my back hurts in my chair at work, but if I was home with a toddler, I'd have no rest like EVER!

 

[Hopefulk]

I agree with others - it's probably the kind of thing we all thought the first time we were pregnant! When she has number two, she will understand... She probably thinks that because you don't have to be at work, you can get up whenever you want and relax at home but she will learn.

So yes I'd be annoyed (hey - I'm always annoyed when I'm pregnant anyway!) but I'd let her off as she has nooooooooo idea at this point!x

 

[Julesillini8]

Hi just popping over here ( I get bored by first tri stuff)
I would've flipped out. I'm sure she definitely doesn't have the slightest clue, as she doesn't have kids yet, so I think it's true you can't take her comment to heart AT ALL. But I will say being at home 24/7 with children WHILE pregnant is tough. Tougher than working while pregnant.
I worked full time when pregnant with my first until the day before I gave birth ( which was at 40+10) I worked in a physical therapy clinic, so physical stuff working with patients rehabbing from surgery, sports injuries, etc.
With my second and now this third pregnancy, I've been a stay at home mom, and it's like apples and oranges. Each scenario ( working while preg and being a SAHM while preg) both have their challenges and difficulties so I am by no means saying working while heavily pregnant is easy, but taking care of children is absolutely physically and emotionally exhausting!
I am just only finishing my first tri, but I have a 3 yr old and 1 yr old, and every night I want to crawl into a cave for 5 days. It's rough, yet the sun rises the next day and I must bring my A game bc toddlers don't give you a break!
Anyhow, she is clueless... Try to push it out of your mind!

 

[emeeorevan]

I agree with pp that say not to take this womans comment to heart. But in your situation I would have been upset too!!

I've been a stay at home mom, and it's like apples and oranges. Each scenario ( working while preg and being a SAHM while preg) both have their challenges and difficulties so I am by no means saying working while heavily pregnant is easy, but taking care of children is absolutely physically and emotionally exhausting!
Anyhow, she is clueless... Try to push it out of your mind!

apples to oranges!! Exactly! I'm still working and my kids are now older but I've been there whist Prego with ds#2. It was not fun!
that being said, I teach little kids so my job is being on my feet 8+ hours a day with little ones then trying to find time outside of the 7:30-4:00 paid work hours to plan and prepare for the next day (grade papers, make copies, type reports, write lessons, ECT.) by the time get home 5-6pm I'm exhausted but still have to cook, do laundry, and clean before I collapse in bed at 9pm. (thankfully I don't have the added work of a toddler to bathe and prep for bed like most of you. Hats off to those moms!!you're awesome!!) my boys are older now I just get to say go get ready for bed and they know the routine (I just gotta double check that they actually brushed their teeth, washed their face well and so on!)
sorry I started ranting...

 

[jzgrace]

I would have told her " my job is more of a job than ANY 9-5. Just wait you'll be begging to get a much wanted break in going back to "work" lol I dont think she was trying to be mean, I just dont think she knows what shes in for. Lol

 

[Ashersmomma]

Thanks ladies. She just seems to push my buttons all the time on things. DH was kind of irritated at her too for saying that. Of course he thinks that she probably won't ever know what it's like, since he's pretty certain that her and her fiancé will just pawn the baby off on their parents every chance they get. They are just that kind of people. Guess we will see.
I'm just glad that I don't usually have to deal with her, and typically just ignore what she does when I do. This time it just hit a nerve. I guess I'm a little touchy on this subject as I've been hearing more and more comments like that lately.

 

[shinona]

It's totally understandable that you were irritated. Going to work for me was much easier than staying at home all day - I sat on my bum all day and got a drink when I wanted it! I'm a part-timer but I take my hat off to all the full-time sahm. I'd love to do it but not sure I could. Xx

 

[amyleigh89]

The joys of being at work, drinking a warm coffee, peeing in peace, coming home and leaving minor housework because with only adults its pretty tidy, eating beans on toast and going to bed without any little people disrupting you. X

 

[dlj2]

She has no idea! Just sit back and wait till she's on no.2 then she will really know what 'work' is.x

 

[sue_88]

She has no idea! Just sit back and wait till she's on no.2 then she will really know what 'work' is.x

She might not have used her words correctly when talking to the OP but to say this is just plain rude. I'm not sure how anyone has so much pent up anger they say what you did above

My job was hard work, dealing with the uk major retailers at any given hour, 70+ hours, and looking after my feisty, non sleeping running riot toddler is EASY!

I no longer work that job and work 2 days a week in a cafe which is still harder than being at home all day in my comfies, sitting on the floor doing a geometric jigsaw with my lo.

Maybe she's never been around children before so isn't too sure what to expect but to say 'just sit back and wait' basically saying watch her struggle is horrible.

 

[RaspberryK]

She has no idea! Just sit back and wait till she's on no.2 then she will really know what 'work' is.x

She might not have used her words correctly when talking to the OP but to say this is just plain rude. I'm not sure how anyone has so much pent up anger they say what you did above

My job was hard work, dealing with the uk major retailers at any given hour, 70+ hours, and looking after my feisty, non sleeping running riot toddler is EASY!

I no longer work that job and work 2 days a week in a cafe which is still harder than being at home all day in my comfies, sitting on the floor doing a geometric jigsaw with my lo.

Maybe she's never been around children before so isn't too sure what to expect but to say 'just sit back and wait' basically saying watch her struggle is horrible.

I don't get that from dlj's post at all, it's hard to judge tone and meaning over the Internet.

I worked long hours in a hard fast paced retail position when my ds was 14 months for a while and I can honestly say my ds is harder work than that.

I'm going to say to you "wait til the terrible twos or the threenagers"

It is a different kind of exhaustion in my opinion, perhaps this will help explain it

https://amotherfarfromhome.com/2013/06/17/hypervigilance-why-moms-are-so-tired/

Xx

 

[sue_88]

She has no idea! Just sit back and wait till she's on no.2 then she will really know what 'work' is.x

She might not have used her words correctly when talking to the OP but to say this is just plain rude. I'm not sure how anyone has so much pent up anger they say what you did above

My job was hard work, dealing with the uk major retailers at any given hour, 70+ hours, and looking after my feisty, non sleeping running riot toddler is EASY!

I no longer work that job and work 2 days a week in a cafe which is still harder than being at home all day in my comfies, sitting on the floor doing a geometric jigsaw with my lo.

Maybe she's never been around children before so isn't too sure what to expect but to say 'just sit back and wait' basically saying watch her struggle is horrible.

I don't get that from dlj's post at all, it's hard to judge tone and meaning over the Internet.

I worked long hours in a hard fast paced retail position when my ds was 14 months for a while and I can honestly say my ds is harder work than that.

I'm going to say to you "wait til the terrible twos or the threenagers"

It is a different kind of exhaustion in my opinion, perhaps this will help explain it

https://amotherfarfromhome.com/2013/06/17/hypervigilance-why-moms-are-so-tired/

Xx

Whether you're going to it or not it's still rude to say "just you wait" I had it all when I was pregnant about breastfeeding....and that was so ridiculously easy I thought what the hell do people moan about, then the no sleeping, again it's hard never having a full night sleep like I haven't for over 2 years now, but still not as hard as my job

And I'm really not going to bother with your link, because I'm not interested in other peoples situations that they smear all over the internet.

My main point being I think it rude, patronising and disrespectful to say "oh just you wait" whilst quietly laughing to yourself and feeling smug that someone has potentially got hardship to come. It's nasty.

 

[RaspberryK]

That was a joke but never mind ...

The link's actually quite interesting, but hey ho your loss!

Xx