Grr OH staring at other females.

[OnyxSnowfall]

Not the first instance but this morning: We were headed to a grocery store... stopped in front at a red light. It turns green. A couple of seconds go by when I look over at him to see why he was not going. Well well, he was captivated by a blonde next to us, on his side. Literally just staring. I tell him the damn light is green. He finally breaks his gaze then starts driving.

Ugh I don't want to put up with this. Nothing seems compelling enough. He literally denied it but then said it is worse when we are not together (i.e I should be content with how much energy he expends into resisting gawking as it is). Meh seriously f*ck this. I know I might be overreacting but this sucks. I do not disrespect him like this and even in his absence I have other interests/goals I prioritize over frivolous meaningless interactions/gazes at/flirtatious exhanges with strangers and thus I still "behave".

Gahhh is anyone else dealing with this? I cannot wait until I get bigger and it likely gets worse .

I know men are supposedly more visual but I have been with men that never treated me this way... maybe they would have if I was pregnant with their baby?! Ah but my OH has done this for a long time among other things. Some I have left him for in the past. Bahhumbug.

 

[Confusing]

So sorry you're going through this. Men can make us feel like absolute crap. I'm going through the same thing too.

 

[Wannabe Mommy]

Me and DH have a basic agreement of look but don't touch. Doesn't really bother me if he sees something he likes as long as accepts I'm gonna tease him about being caught looking until I get bored with the joke.

 

[Confusing]

I accepted my OH could look but not touch at first. I personally never felt the need to look at others as he is perfection in my eyes. It wasn't until my crazy hormones took over that I had a weird inkling and said I was going to get intouch with a girl he swore he was never interested in that I found out they'd kissed slept in his bed and he'd tried for sex but apparently she said no plus kept telling her we wasn't together and this was just a week before he moved in with me and spent the first few months accusing me. So the looking but not touching doesn't go down well with me now lol but he still does it.

 

[OnyxSnowfall]

Confusing - sorry you are dealing with this too . Wish there was a way to not be affected.

Wanna - haha I wish I could be okay with it at times. I don't have a need/desire to look at others though. Too hard for me to relate... I identify too much with demisexuality perhaps. I don't think my OH would be down for me doing what he does either (he comments negatively when he notices other males looking at me etc) but who knows, maybe he would be down with the agreement if I was interested.

 

[OnyxSnowfall]

I accepted my OH could look but not touch at first. I personally never felt the need to look at others as he is perfection in my eyes. It wasn't until my crazy hormones took over that I had a weird inkling and said I was going to get intouch with a girl he swore he was never interested in that I found out they'd kissed slept in his bed and he'd tried for sex but apparently she said no plus kept telling her we wasn't together and this was just a week before he moved in with me and spent the first few months accusing me. So the looking but not touching doesn't go down well with me now lol but he still does it.

Ugh wow, so sorry you have had to experience that. Betrayal is so hard to manage / cope with. Kudos to you for staying strong (I barely forgave my OH for hiding and lying about porn for nearly a year.. in the beginning I told him it was a deal breaker for me - I was not even looking for a relationship then and honestly cared less if that standard meant I would be a crazy old lady living alone forever with cute kitties galore... he assured me he did not need it. Bull shit. I get attached and low and behold... of course he revels in porn. What man doesn't? Well the kind I wanted to actually invest in... if they exist! Lol. He used to compare me to models and anime / game characters and put me down. I left him over those comments. I cannot tolerate these things well and just feel I deserve more u.u; and can offer myself far more in lieu of putting effort into some selfish, shallow person. Gah so frustrating...

 

[Confusing]

That's horrible no man should ever put down the woman they supposedly love nor compare them. If they aren't what they wanted then why be with them I just don't understand that. You seem like a genuine, strong honest person and I think *some* people think they can get away with too much. Lying is a big no no, I can relate to alot of things you've said. Also about porn I can totally understand a man doing so singley but if they have a partner I don't see why they'd need to. I really really hope you manage to work out what's best for you because no ones deserves it pregnant or not. I really didn't mean to sabotage your post either. Stay strong x

 

[sarah34]

Me and oh actually joke about this!! He'll be looking and I'll say 'do u want to have another look?!' And then he'll say 'yea she was alright' or 'nah you can have that one!' Lol

They can look as long as they don't touch in my opinion. Try not to get too upset about it and just laugh it off. I look at people I find attractive as I'm sure 99% of people do, male or female.

Let him look huni, it's you he sleeps in a bed with every night so don't worry!

As for the comments, that's not on and u need to tell him so. Xxx