Grrr i cant stop thinking...

[tootsy1987]

What would my bump look like now? and how far would i be i would have been 12 and a half weeks booo hoooo!! feels like it was ages ago since we lost our little bubba but it was only 2 and a half weeks ago grrr :'( xxxx

 

[Jessa]

It's hard to cope when you think about all the "I would be"'s, isn't it? I find myself thinking that all the time. I should be almost 28 weeks now. I know exactly how you feel. I promise you that it does get a little easier though, now that I'm 2 1/2 months down the line. My hurt definitely hasn't gone away, but it's more bearable now than it was before. Stay strong.

 

[tootsy1987]

aww im soo sorry for your loss hunny! it is horrible watching celebs walking around with their perfect bumps etc when u just think what if and what would i look like. I really wish i new the sex of our baby then i could kinda put a image to it and greive a little, even though my m/c was only at 9 and half weeks big hugs to you sweety!! xxxxxxx

 

[Jessa]

Don't ever say that your miscarriage was "only" at 9 1/2 weeks! ONLY makes it sound as if it's worth less than others who may have miscarried later on. Everyone is entitled to grieve for their lost baby in whatever way works for them.

Have you thought about doing something as a commemorative sort of thing?

 

[tootsy1987]

awww thanks hun! i think its cause people keep telling me that atleast it happened early etc... even though it hurts the same no matter when you lose your child!... i did think but i wasnt too sure what to do. I keep looking at the scan off when we found out the bubba had no hb, i can see its tiny little face and although it was a horrible time finding out the bubs had no hb the photo really comforts me in a strange way... uno what i mean? xxxxx

 

[Jessa]

I absolutely know what you mean. We had a scan of our little one at 12 weeks, but found out five weeks later that our baby had died around 14 weeks. That scan picture is very special to me. One thing that I found helpful after our miscarriage was to create a short video that combined the scan pic with pictures of my belly growing, with comforting music in the background. I added some text in as if I was going to give it to my baby. I watch it every now and then still and have a little cry. That's just one idea. I'm sure others have some as well.

 

[tootsy1987]

awww thanks soo much hunny that is a fab idea!!!!! such a gorgeous way to remember your little beany. Im really sorry also for what you had to go through. Can i ask.... (sorry if its a bit personal, u can tell me to shutup) but did u ttc straight away? when i had erpc i absolutly was in the mind frame NO ttc for a good few months (also having fertility tests next week to see if any reason why i cant carry) but now i feel like im missing an opitunity to catch another eggy.... its soo blidy confusing! i dont know what i want at the moment. My OH had to start a job working away from home for a little while cause there not much work doing what he does where we live so before he left for work yesterday we dtd and i think i ovulated around that time but i dont know if i feel sad that we havent managed to do much to catch the egg or scared incase i have caught the egg... does that make sense? lol

xxxx

 

[Jessa]

It absolutely makes sense! Our doctor told us to wait until after I had my first AF, so that if we did get pregnant right away it would be easier for them to figure out how far along I am. We did that and have been trying really hard until yesterday (and I'm ovulating about now too). I had a little meltdown last night, realizing that I'm not quite as "fine" as I had thought I was. I'm pretty sure that we didn't get pregnant this month (although I won't know for sure for almost two weeks!). Surprisingly, that doesn't seem to bother me much this month, whereas last month I was super upset. Like you, I'm scared about what will happen next time. And, since my last miscarriage was at 17 weeks, I've got a long time to worry about whether everything is okay.

I think you and your OH need to do what's right for you. If you feel ready now and think you'd be okay if you got pregnant again right away, then go for it. Otherwise, take some time for you. It'll happen eventually. I know it.

 

[dan-o]

Aww, I've been the same recently, especially when I spotted the lady who works next door the other day. I didn't even know she was pg & she looks about the same as I would have been (19 weeks)
My SIL is also pg & due the same week I would have been, lucky for me I don't see her often, or I'd end up being jealous of her too

I'm not allowed to TTC because of this flipping molar thing but if it wasn't for that, you could bet your boots I'd be trying right now!!
I guess we are all different tho & you have to do what feels right for you.

 

[tootsy1987]

Thanks girls! and big hugs to you both! awful that we all have to go through this!!!

Dan-o when can you start to ttc again? i read your thread about molar im soo sorry to hear that, is that why you weren't getting your bfn?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[dan-o]

Yep probably, I'm still BFP, but its super faint now. 6 weeks tomorrow since my ERPC.

Are you BFN yet?

I'm still waiting to hear back from the hospital in London, but it doesnt seem to be as bad as I first thought, I could be back to TTC the week before my due date, in september!

 

[tootsy1987]

aww big cuddles hunny!! i havent done a hpt for a good few days now, think last one i done was sunday and it was there but super faint... might do one tonight and just check its went. I just noticed ur from south west... where abouts? i used to live in colliers wood... worked in wimbledon xxxxx

 

[DiddyDons]

Im so sorry babe! I was like that after I lost Sophie...I was always "I should be 35 weeks preg" etc etc and now its "she shhould be crawling and walking now!"
If you ever want to talk im here for you!

P.s I didnt know you were from Tyne and Wear

 

[tootsy1987]

Thanks honey!! big huggs to you too!!!!!! i didnt know you were from sunderland either lol!!! ooo we like neighbours! definately also if you even need someone to talk to message me, we not far from each other which is very good to know for the support xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[dan-o]

aww big cuddles hunny!! i havent done a hpt for a good few days now, think last one i done was sunday and it was there but super faint... might do one tonight and just check its went. I just noticed ur from south west... where abouts? i used to live in colliers wood... worked in wimbledon xxxxx

I'm in devon now, but I lived in new malden for a year, just down the road! Small world!