Grrr men!! O/T LOOOONG hormonal rant.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by lilwelsh1, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. lilwelsh1

    lilwelsh1 3 happy kids+2 angels

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    I'm sorry but WTH is wrong with men?? My DH seems to think letting me down and 'forgetting' when appointments r is ok?! He finally has more hours at work (relieved isnt the word we r glad) but it seems to have turned him into a grumpy show offy over grown child!

    I have a driving lesson tomorrow that i have moved/had cancelled twice. DH works nights on weekdays but did days this weekend so he was able to pick the kids up while i was on my lesson now he's volunteered to do a day shift tomorrow meaning i have to cancel my lesson at the last minute. I will probably lose the slot totally as its a late cancellation.anyway thats not really the problem that started a series of arguments which resulted in OH basically going off on 1 bcuz he has to spend his wages on bills etc! Has he realised that is real life? He made me feel like a leechy small child who bleeds him dry. The guilt he laid on was plentiful. This is a marriage, i am out of work after getting swine flu and pleuracy i was replaced while out sick. No one will employ a pregnant woman. I feel like a lazy useless cow thanks to him :cry:

    work has stuff lined up for him in march (when the next scan is) and he said to his boss no i dont have any plans or appoinments that month!!!! I shouted at him as i was furious, his boss heard me n laughed, thing is its not funny, how can i rely on him, he doesnt no how many weeks preg i am when people ask him, i told him he's banned from the birth. Harsh i know but i need a back up cuz he basically sits in a field alone watching equipment at night, chances r if hes in work when i go into labour (whether its in hospital or at home) he wont be able to leave theres no one around to cover him. Im just protecting myself from a massive let down. Im high risk and i told him i rather give birth at home alone in the bath which i would prefer but im obv not allowed a home birth so it would be nice to know my own husband could manage to be reliable!!!

    Sorry for the rave i just spent the whole day crying cuz he's been so mean to me everytime i spoke earlier he put me on hold so he couldnt hear what i was saying, then he yelled his load of crap n put me back on hold. Its just bloody childish!! Whats the deal with men?? Y did i ever get married? He wasnt this pathetic on our other 2. Does he not want this baby? Im convinced he's having second thoughts but everythings about him all the time. His grandma died at the beginning of our relationship she was like a mum to him so he spent years not grieving properly, i managed to get him into counselling last year, then his grandad gets sick so i gotta tread round him carefully now as he uses it as an excuse to have a go n call mr heartless for not thinking about the difficult times hes going thru!!!

    What about me?? I miscarried during the summer, his/her due date is fast approaching has he bothered to consider i might be sad that about what should be happening in our home now, not sitting here panicking something bad will happen? too scared to even consider buying so much as a baby grow out of superstition. Its like he's forgotten. I tell him im scared everyday but he just says hmm and changes the subject. I give up. Sorry to go on thanks to any1 who read this xx
     
  2. pandabub

    pandabub Well-Known Member

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    Hi sweets,

    Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time lately :-( *hugs*

    It's awful feeling so aliented by your OH due to a complete lack of sensitivity (on their part)/empathy/disinterest in even attempting to understand what we as women are going through during pregnancy. I'm not sure what to say, except, you're not alone and my advice? Focus on yourself and the little baby inside you; you shouldn't have to sit around waiting for him to grow up and be a man.

    I'm feeling really quite detached from my OH at the moment because of a couple of comments he made regarding my pregnancy last night. Now, he is ordinarily very loving and incredibly sensitive, yet the things he said really hit a nerve. I don't even have the energy to get angry/upset about it tbh, but its not something I will forget any time soon or easily. He has actually apologised, which I respect, but I'm still quite pissed off and its made me feel even more determined to be strong in my own right without having to depend on him for reassurance that I can do this.

    We as women possess an inherent inner strength that should not be underestimated. Keep your head up honey, and believe in yourself - and let him be a pr*ck, if that is what he wants. In the end, its him who is missing out. xxx
     
  3. miss cakes

    miss cakes Well-Known Member

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    all i can say is since becoming pregnant i have realised that men are shit (not all just most)and have no clue or concept of what its like for us at all if he was in your shoes he would be a quivering wreck wouldnt he lol as for him paying the bills well my gosh what does he think that lifes just a free ride forever? the idiots just sulking cos now hes got some responsibillites he cant handle it he will have to just get over it wont he its not your fault xx
     
  4. pandabub

    pandabub Well-Known Member

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    Agree with miss cakes on the bills thing hun - that really is out of order. Sounds like he has a bit of growing up to do xx
     
  5. lilwelsh1

    lilwelsh1 3 happy kids+2 angels

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    thing that confuses me is he's paid the bills in the whole 8 years we been together, i have contributed when i have worked in between being a mum and being pregnant and since having our son 4 years ago i havent worked because i've been depressed and then i found the strength to go to college n get a trade, he never worried on our first 2 children. It cant be the miscarriage as we lost 1 before our son and hes never been this weird. As for responsibilities he's had them for 6 years since our daughter was born. We were teenagers but the day i found out i was preg we both got jobs he stayed in his i quit (biscuit factory they dont like people who vomit daily working with food lol) its confusing, he's supported us from day 1 without a word. Must be his time of the month.
     
  6. pandabub

    pandabub Well-Known Member

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    How strange, then, that he would be reacting this way now...sounds like his might be his time hun lol! Men!!!xx
     

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