Guardian Article: We must untangle the web of contradictions around breastfeeding

[Jemima]

Here's a link the a Guardian article which asks that we help to shift the focus off the guilt mothers feel when it comes to the way in which they feed their babies. It's also a good response to all the dross that's been in the press recently:

We must untangle the web of contradictions around breastfeeding

 

[Mervs Mum]

At last.....

 

[Hevz]

Will have to read it later.

Did you see the insert in The Times last week (I think)???????

Utter drivel....and lots of contradictions. Basically told us we shouldn't bother, there was no difference

 

[sparkswillfly]

I saw that article in the times Hevs. Load of rubbish.

As for the guardian article thats how I feel. I still feel guilty now 2.5 months on. Everytime I go to the bloody health centre I am asked if Im breastfeeding. I want to tell them to sod off and mind their own business. They have even come around with a clip board asking mothers if they are breastfeeding 'for research'. We all know they have targets.

 

[asacia]

I felt guilty when I wasn't able to breastfeed. That guilt didn't come from anyone else, it was a completely irrational and personal thing, and something I inflicted upon myself.

While I can appreciate how hard it is to be asked about breastfeeding when you have been aren't breastfeeding(either by choice, or by lack of help, support and advice, or because you have a very rare and un-overcomable problem) I think it is important that we don't hide facts because of that.

Ultimately, babies are the most important thing, and we need to make sure that everyone has the right imformation to make the right choice. Sometimes bottlefeeding is a better option for a family, I know, but we shouldn't hide information because it makes people uncomfortable.

I hope that doesn't sound too harsh.

 

[sparkswillfly]

But theres a difference between hiding information and ramming it down our throats.

 

[asacia]

But theres a difference between hiding information and ramming it down our throats.

I've not experienced anyone being over the top with breastfeeding information, more the opposite - I was pushed into giving formula when I didn't want to.

Can you share your experiences with having it rammed down your throat?

Breastfeeding stuff did make me feel uncomfortable for a while - I avoided friends who breastfed and I hid the fact that I had problems. I wouldn't want there to be less information available because of me being uncomfortable though.

What do you think about things like posters in hospital, leaflets given to new Mums, or being asked by Midwives and at innoculations?

 

[sparkswillfly]

But theres a difference between hiding information and ramming it down our throats.

I've not experienced anyone being over the top with breastfeeding information, more the opposite - I was pushed into giving formula when I didn't want to.

Can you share your experiences with having it rammed down your throat?

Breastfeeding stuff did make me feel uncomfortable for a while - I avoided friends who breastfed and I hid the fact that I had problems. I wouldn't want there to be less information available because of me being uncomfortable though.

What do you think about things like posters in hospital, leaflets given to new Mums, or being asked by Midwives and at innoculations?

I dont have any problems with posters or leaflets. They can be easily ignored if you dont want to look at them. However when I was in hospital there was a woman who came around to all the women and basically badgered them into breastfeeding. I had a very traumatic birth and OH was forced to leave straight after as it was 4am. I had a c section and couldnt even hold Meadow I was shaking so much. So even though I had every intention to breastfeed, I just couldnt face it at that point so the midwife gave her a bottle to start with. Then when I was on my own on the ward this woman barged in shoved a leaflet under my nose and pointed out all the benefits of breastfeeding. Didnt even bother asking if I intended on breastfeeding. Then when I told her Meadow had already had a bottle she huffed at me and said well youll never get her to latch on after that because she wont be hungry and she stormed out. Then she goes to the woman next to me who had been in for 2 days already and asked her how she was getting on and the woman said she had given her baby a 3oz bottle because she wanted to basically so the horrible woman then had a go at her for that and then stormed out and went to the reception and said "How am I supposed to do my job if these women keep giving bottles, they dont even bother going to the classes" So the whole ward could hear her!

I did manage to successfully breastfeed for 2.5 months but when I decided to switch to bottle feeding (I tried to combination feed for a while but it didnt work out) I found myself constantly being asked why I had stopped by HVs and my GP. Even now when I go to get her weighed and have to speak to a HV after they always ask is she breastfed? They could always ask how is she fed, or better still just look in the red book if they want to know. Ive had the clipboard research question twice as well whilst sitting in the waiting room in front of a room full of people. It is partly my guilt and my problem but I dont think they help matters at all. I still to this day feel guilty about stopping.

 

[emie]

excellant

 

[Jemima]

But theres a difference between hiding information and ramming it down our throats.

I've not experienced anyone being over the top with breastfeeding information, more the opposite - I was pushed into giving formula when I didn't want to.

Can you share your experiences with having it rammed down your throat?

Breastfeeding stuff did make me feel uncomfortable for a while - I avoided friends who breastfed and I hid the fact that I had problems. I wouldn't want there to be less information available because of me being uncomfortable though.

What do you think about things like posters in hospital, leaflets given to new Mums, or being asked by Midwives and at innoculations?

I dont have any problems with posters or leaflets. They can be easily ignored if you dont want to look at them. However when I was in hospital there was a woman who came around to all the women and basically badgered them into breastfeeding. I had a very traumatic birth and OH was forced to leave straight after as it was 4am. I had a c section and couldnt even hold Meadow I was shaking so much. So even though I had every intention to breastfeed, I just couldnt face it at that point so the midwife gave her a bottle to start with. Then when I was on my own on the ward this woman barged in shoved a leaflet under my nose and pointed out all the benefits of breastfeeding. Didnt even bother asking if I intended on breastfeeding. Then when I told her Meadow had already had a bottle she huffed at me and said well youll never get her to latch on after that because she wont be hungry and she stormed out. Then she goes to the woman next to me who had been in for 2 days already and asked her how she was getting on and the woman said she had given her baby a 3oz bottle because she wanted to basically so the horrible woman then had a go at her for that and then stormed out and went to the reception and said "How am I supposed to do my job if these women keep giving bottles, they dont even bother going to the classes" So the whole ward could hear her!

I did manage to successfully breastfeed for 2.5 months but when I decided to switch to bottle feeding (I tried to combination feed for a while but it didnt work out) I found myself constantly being asked why I had stopped by HVs and my GP. Even now when I go to get her weighed and have to speak to a HV after they always ask is she breastfed? They could always ask how is she fed, or better still just look in the red book if they want to know. Ive had the clipboard research question twice as well whilst sitting in the waiting room in front of a room full of people. It is partly my guilt and my problem but I dont think they help matters at all. I still to this day feel guilty about stopping.

Gosh, I can really sense the anguish in your post and I just feel bad for you (not in a patronizing way) You did well to get to 2.5 months. That's a lot more than most do, so you should feel extremely proud about that. Guilt is the worst emotion, in my opinion. It can just eat away at you. Don't feel bad about it...celebrate your achievement if you can.