hard choice...

[libbymarks198]

i really want a baby now, and so does OH but I am still studying for another year and then i will be on double what i am on now and we have a holiday planned in december to Australia, and then in March i am going to singapore with my family and then the following March for my 21st mum is shouting me and her a round the world ticket for 2 months... if i get pregnant now i wont finish my this time next year it will take me another 2 as i would not want to study as much as what i am now and i wont be able to go to singapore in march or round the world the next year... we would still go to australia but i would not be able to do half the stuff we have paid for such as rides and clubbing etc...

i really dont want to stop ttc but i know i should how can i make myself not try for 2 years lol i am only 19 anyway so its not like i need a baby asap but we had a m/c 2 years ago we waited 1 and a half years to start ttc and it didnt happen as fast as what we thought, which upset us both but now i think prehaps it did not happen for a reason as i am not meant to have a baby until i have finished study and done some travelling i have always wanted to travel my whole life and having a child would mean that i never get to go to the places i dream about...

sorry for the rant just need advice on wtt

 

[membas#1]

you definitely have to do what is right for you and your OH. i know that must be a difficult decision--i'm not sure what i would do...but i'm 34 and not 19. you do have many years ahead of you for family. if i were 19, i'd probably make the decision to wait the 2 years and enjoy the plans you have laid out. best of luck.

 

[libbymarks198]

yeah i know i should but we want a child more than anything i dont think i would care if i cant travel... i really dont want to go back on the pill as it made ttc so much harder this time and we dont like condoms prehaps we will ntnp and see what happens if it is meant to be it is meant to be, no charting no temping no opks

 

[silverbell]

i have always wanted to travel my whole life and having a child would mean that i never get to go to the places i dream about...

I think the above comment says it all. I'm going to be TTC at the age of 29 with absolutely no regrets and lots of years of wonderful travelling behind me. I've visited all the places I wanted to visit and done all the things I wanted to do. I can't imagine ever having tried for a baby before I'd done these things, but that's just my personal view.

Have a good think about things.

I'm not sure I would ever go back on the pill now either, but there are other non-hormonal contraceptives available besides condoms.

Hope you can come to a mutual decision that suits everybody x

 

[libbymarks198]

yeah i know that i should wait it is just going to be really hard as we have been ttc for 6 months now and after the m/c also... it's pretty much all i think about day in and day out espically as i am an early childhood teacher i am around children all the time.. its hard not to come on here also i really need to block it from my server lol it will make me start ttc again, i might get an iud put it so i can just get it removed when ever we decide to strt ttc again and then i wont just try every month and then regret it when it comes to my 21st and mum is giving me a bed for the would be toddler rather than a round the world ticket.. it sucks but i know i have to do it, it will make me a better person and i will be earning a lot more also so can give the baby more than what we could now. i also want to do my Bachlor in midwifery which takes 3 years so even if i could manage to wait 4 years untill trying for a baby that would be awesome but i will never be able to wait that long

 

[RoyalPython]

yeah i know that i should wait it is just going to be really hard as we have been ttc for 6 months now and after the m/c also... it's pretty much all i think about day in and day out espically as i am an early childhood teacher i am around children all the time.. its hard not to come on here also i really need to block it from my server lol it will make me start ttc again, i might get an iud put it so i can just get it removed when ever we decide to strt ttc again and then i wont just try every month and then regret it when it comes to my 21st and mum is giving me a bed for the would be toddler rather than a round the world ticket.. it sucks but i know i have to do it, it will make me a better person and i will be earning a lot more also so can give the baby more than what we could now. i also want to do my Bachlor in midwifery which takes 3 years so even if i could manage to wait 4 years untill trying for a baby that would be awesome but i will never be able to wait that long

If your that confused do what you said, NTNP. If it happens its obv meant to be, if not oh well. You can still travel etc with a baby, or wait until its a bit older? Also, your doing midwifery? How do you go about getting into UNI for it? is there certain things you need to do? x

 

[wtt :)]

Originally, DH and I wanted kids ASAP. Back then I was 21 and he was 19. After weighing the pros and cons, we finally decided to wait for a long time until TTC. We are almost 26 and 24 now so getting much closer to the day we start TTC I am very proud of the fact that we managed to wait this long and am really looking forward to our future baby now.
We took all this time to get to know each other, grow as a team rather than "just" being husband and wife, travel a bit (i traveled a lot from when my mom was pregnant with me until i was almost 20 so i have seen many different places in this world and it is SO worth it!) Having said that, you can still travel with a child. My parents always took me everywhere. But, it is up to you two to know what is best for you and the future LO and I am sure you will make the right decision.

 

[Inge]

Im 19 alswell. My OH is 29 and we have to wait about 4 years. Il only be 23-24 by the time we TTC and hopefully concieve but theres a part of me that want to just do it now. However, Im going to study a 2 year course in septmeber and work part time in catering. Im hoping that after college I could do full time in my job and maybe be trained for a superviser/assistant manager job, as my dream is to be a catering manager. We wanna be married and have a house before we TTC so I know its the right thing to wait. Travel and do all the things you can before you get tied into family life. x

 

[room41more84]

hiya i thought i would add a slightly different post, i had my 1st son when i was 17 and was married at 21 and also had my daughter when i was 21, having children young didnt halt my life at all, i travelled round the world in a camper van from when i was 5 months preg with my son and have been on hol every year most times twice since they have been here! we go skiing at xmas and have a summer hol also and tbh having the kids there just makes it all the more special, yer there are some hurdles to cross but never too big that you cant overcome them its silly things like having the extra luggage etc. i also work nights over the weekend and am a teaching assistant which im also doing my degree in in the week, personally i think if you sit and plan each child down to the last detail it takes the fun out of it and if you waited to have a baby due to things you wanted to get done you would never get round it same as if you waited till you have enough money!! as you said you would like to do your midwifery and that could delay you having kids for another x amount of yrs, my step sis is doing her midwifery she has 3 oung kids but is still doing it with the support of the family. you need to think where your hearts at and wat you and your partner want, you know whats "right" to do, save money and wait till you done your degree etc but does that mean its the right thing for you to do, hope you come to a decision soon.

 

[libbymarks198]

hiya i thought i would add a slightly different post, i had my 1st son when i was 17 and was married at 21 and also had my daughter when i was 21, having children young didnt halt my life at all, i travelled round the world in a camper van from when i was 5 months preg with my son and have been on hol every year most times twice since they have been here! we go skiing at xmas and have a summer hol also and tbh having the kids there just makes it all the more special, yer there are some hurdles to cross but never too big that you cant overcome them its silly things like having the extra luggage etc. i also work nights over the weekend and am a teaching assistant which im also doing my degree in in the week, personally i think if you sit and plan each child down to the last detail it takes the fun out of it and if you waited to have a baby due to things you wanted to get done you would never get round it same as if you waited till you have enough money!! as you said you would like to do your midwifery and that could delay you having kids for another x amount of yrs, my step sis is doing her midwifery she has 3 oung kids but is still doing it with the support of the family. you need to think where your hearts at and wat you and your partner want, you know whats "right" to do, save money and wait till you done your degree etc but does that mean its the right thing for you to do, hope you come to a decision soon.

Thanks for that! I read it to OH and he said we should ntnp and it will happen when it happens he does not want me to go back on the pill and we can afford a child now, we wont try this cycle as having a march baby does not suit uni at the moment as i will have a week of classes the month of March which i cant miss out on, i work full time so money is not a problem for us but if we did wait we could afford a lot more, my parents also help us out a lot they pay for all the travel that we do and vehicles and what not (I am not spoilt i pay them back for most of it and i work 40 hours a week and study full time also) I have just been out for coffee with my nana at a little country place which has a shop in it also and nana was looking at all the baby things she is worried she will never get to see another great grandchild so it would make her so happy. OH and i never want to get married although last night i found myself looking at rings, we do not believe in it and think being together not being married is just the same he buys me rings all the time and we have been together since i was 15 we know everything about each other and have been living together for 3 years now. I think we are ready for a baby..

oh and about the midwife thing, in NewZealand there is no age limit if you have the right highschool qualifications to get into the course i did not do science at high school but seen i have a degree i can do it as a post degree course. it takes 3 years at uni or some polytechs so it also. I will work part time and study part time through distance so i do not have to go to classes i can not sit in a class all day it would drive me insane that is how i am doing my degree at the moment i do it all through distance.

anyways i wrote a bit much then haha sorry if you read it all. ill sum it up for those who just skim read we are going to ntnp but think we will try wait until December so I will not be pregnant for Australia and will be very early on for Singapore, the baby will be very young for my 21st so it will be free for he/she to come around the world with my mother and me or he/she can saty at home with OH for 3 and a half weeks (although i dont like the sound of not seeing the baby for almost a month!)

so yeah thanks again for your input everyone!

xx

 

[Damita]

At the end of the day do what is right for you and your OH, personally I would in your shoes wait, wow being able to travel the world, I am so jealous right now, ha ha and start your degree course, I'm half way through mine and I didn't realise how hard it was going to be I'm glad I don't have a baby at this moment in time. but again it's your decision