Has anyone considered gender selection?

[Sunnie1984]

A bit of a random question, but bear with me.

I'm pregnant with our first child. We are currently team yellow.

However, both sides of our families are absolutely jam packed with boys so the possibility of having a girl is pretty low.

I'm pretty relaxed about this child being a boy, but really anxious that we may never get a girl naturally.

Also I have terrible hyper emesis during this pregnancy, and although we want three children, I don't think I can do more than one more pregnancy.

I have been doing some reading and gender selection via IVF is relatively affordable here in the Middle East. We've been discussing whether we would do this next time, to both have a girl and to hopefully have twins, so we can have three children without having three pregnancies.

Has anyone else considered doing gender selection and what are your thoughts on it?

x

 

[katherinegrey]

If money was no object I think I'd be very tempted to at least have one shot at it, as I'm pregnant with a boy this time but desperate for a girl, I think I'd be tempted to do one more natural pregnancy and if that was another boy I'd definitely look into gender selection. I don't think I'd want to do more than one attempt though, IVF is a big strain on you, both emotionally and physically, so for me, even though pregnancy makes me very ill, I'd still prefer to have another natural shot before looking into it.

 

[Andypanda6570]

no I would not do it. I feel like it messing with "Mother nature" that is just my opinion,have nothing against it for others, just not right for me...

 

[bigmomma74]

I would do it in a heartbeat! I wish I could afford it now....I'm fairly sure after 4 girls I'm having another girl I want to give my DH a son so badly

 

[No1showgirl]

edited

 

[Adela Quested]

Gender selection is not legal here.

In any case, having seen what my sister went through with IVF, I am glad that I haven't needed it. I wouldn't do it unless I really had to! (Not judging others mind you, you just asked what I would do.)

 

[Sunnie1984]

I totally agree that IVF is a strain on the body, and I don't think I could cope with doing more than one round of it, particularly as we had no problem in conceiving this LO.

I know it's not legal in the UK at the moment, unless it's for a medical reason. I'm glad that over here in the Middle East, it's only available for family balancing - so you can't just rock up and request a boy etc, you have to have at least one child from the opposite sex before you are legally allowed to do this.

I think for me, I know that if we had another boy, I would be disappointed, and I don't want to feel that way at all if I can avoid it. Actually, in the ideal world, I'd get pregnant with twins, one boy and one girl, so we had two boys and a girl, but there's no point implanting one of each sex embryo, because you'd probably end up with just the male embyro taking, and then you'd have wasted the money.

I think that if it wasn't so much more affordable out here than in europe or the US (I think it works out at £6500 rather than £15000) then there's no way I could afford to even be thinking about it.

Andypanda - I completely know what you mean about messing with mother nature. I felt like that when I first heard about it, but after a while, I decided it was no more messing with mother nature than having IVF when you can't conceive naturally.

Hmmm lots to think about.... but hopefully it's something that we can look at once our precious LO is born.

x

 

[Andypanda6570]

I totally agree that IVF is a strain on the body, and I don't think I could cope with doing more than one round of it, particularly as we had no problem in conceiving this LO.

I know it's not legal in the UK at the moment, unless it's for a medical reason. I'm glad that over here in the Middle East, it's only available for family balancing - so you can't just rock up and request a boy etc, you have to have at least one child from the opposite sex before you are legally allowed to do this.

I think for me, I know that if we had another boy, I would be disappointed, and I don't want to feel that way at all if I can avoid it. Actually, in the ideal world, I'd get pregnant with twins, one boy and one girl, so we had two boys and a girl, but there's no point implanting one of each sex embryo, because you'd probably end up with just the male embyro taking, and then you'd have wasted the money.

I think that if it wasn't so much more affordable out here than in europe or the US (I think it works out at £6500 rather than £15000) then there's no way I could afford to even be thinking about it.

Andypanda - I completely know what you mean about messing with mother nature. I felt like that when I first heard about it, but after a while, I decided it was no more messing with mother nature than having IVF when you can't conceive naturally.

Hmmm lots to think about.... but hopefully it's something that we can look at once our precious LO is born.

x

I do agree a little, but IVF is so important and it doesn't pick a gender if gives you the opportunity to have a child.. It is just my opinion on GS I would not condemn anyone who chooses it.. XOOX

 

[Sunnie1984]

I totally agree that IVF is a strain on the body, and I don't think I could cope with doing more than one round of it, particularly as we had no problem in conceiving this LO.

I know it's not legal in the UK at the moment, unless it's for a medical reason. I'm glad that over here in the Middle East, it's only available for family balancing - so you can't just rock up and request a boy etc, you have to have at least one child from the opposite sex before you are legally allowed to do this.

I think for me, I know that if we had another boy, I would be disappointed, and I don't want to feel that way at all if I can avoid it. Actually, in the ideal world, I'd get pregnant with twins, one boy and one girl, so we had two boys and a girl, but there's no point implanting one of each sex embryo, because you'd probably end up with just the male embyro taking, and then you'd have wasted the money.

I think that if it wasn't so much more affordable out here than in europe or the US (I think it works out at £6500 rather than £15000) then there's no way I could afford to even be thinking about it.

Andypanda - I completely know what you mean about messing with mother nature. I felt like that when I first heard about it, but after a while, I decided it was no more messing with mother nature than having IVF when you can't conceive naturally.

Hmmm lots to think about.... but hopefully it's something that we can look at once our precious LO is born.

x

I do agree a little, but IVF is so important and it doesn't pick a gender if gives you the opportunity to have a child.. It is just my opinion on GS I would not condemn anyone who chooses it.. XOOX

I completely agree that it's such a personal choice.

I'm just so glad that assisted conception is available at all, there are so many people I know who are going to make fabulous parents, but just need some help getting started.

x

 

[Adela Quested]

I'm just so glad that assisted conception is available at all, there are so many people I know who are going to make fabulous parents, but just need some help getting started.

x

I agree, it's a wonderful thing and SO many of my friends & family would not have kids without it!

I am really thankful that I did not need it (especially as I am now 39) and have a healthy child and another healthy bubs on the way.

I didn't know that you couldn't do gender selection in the UK ... only that you can't do it here in NL where I live. I agree that it's a personal choice and I hope that whatever you choose, it works out really well for you

 

[Hayley90]

Its not legal here, but i'd happily go to the states and have it... but only when i was nearing the end of my 'chances' - im 21, on my 2nd healthy pregnancy. Hell i could keep going until i get a girl until my late thirties

I dont hear the clock ticking yet... perhaps if i was older/less fertile then yeah id be on a plane to the states.

I work in an IVF clinic, so i totally get the strains and stresses... im an egg donor too (well, delayed no because of bump!) so i will be going through the treatment myself next year ... its an amazing thing. xx

 

[Sunnie1984]

Hayley, it's so lovely that you are donating eggs.

Once we've completed our family I'd love to do that. If there only going to be wasted on a period each month I'd rather someone else benefit from them, if it means they will have a much loved and much wanted child.

Adela it's not legal in the uk, I'm currently in the middle east and it's legal out here.

Hayley I'd have thought about having a third child etc to see if we could naturally conceive a girl, but I'm so I'll during pregnancy that I couldn't go through it more then twice (and that's only because I want my child to have siblings, I'd be tempted to quit now otherwise!)

X

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

I'm looking into doing it next year in Cyprus and I can't wait x

 

[bigmomma74]

I looked into Cyprus too. Just can't afford it right now Hopefully this beanie is a boy and its not needed

 

[Mom2mmcjg]

I have 5 boys, so I know what it means to be desperate for a child of the opposite gender and think you'll never get it. However, I could never do gender selection for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that I wouldn't have had my boys. I didn't know that I wanted 5 boys, I would have told you there's no way I'd be happy with 5 boys, but God knew. God is the one who gives us children, God is the one who gave me my sons. God, in His infinite wisdom, gave me more children than I thought I wanted and gave me boys. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Some things should be left to God.

 

[bigmomma74]

I have 5 boys, so I know what it means to be desperate for a child of the opposite gender and think you'll never get it. However, I could never do gender selection for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that I wouldn't have had my boys. I didn't know that I wanted 5 boys, I would have told you there's no way I'd be happy with 5 boys, but God knew. God is the one who gives us children, God is the one who gave me my sons. God, in His infinite wisdom, gave me more children than I thought I wanted and gave me boys. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Some things should be left to God.

But would you still feel like this if you weren't pregnant with your girl? If this baby turns out to be my 5th girl then I will be saving to go to Cyprus. However if this is my son finally the urge will be gone.

 

[Sunnie1984]

I have 5 boys, so I know what it means to be desperate for a child of the opposite gender and think you'll never get it. However, I could never do gender selection for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that I wouldn't have had my boys. I didn't know that I wanted 5 boys, I would have told you there's no way I'd be happy with 5 boys, but God knew. God is the one who gives us children, God is the one who gave me my sons. God, in His infinite wisdom, gave me more children than I thought I wanted and gave me boys. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Some things should be left to God.

Perhaps you are right.

However, someone might undergo gender selection for, say, their third child, and then go on to have more children after that. There's no guarantee that you will stop having children because you have both boys and girls.

I think if you truly believe that God will provide you with the right number of children, you will have them regardless of having IVF or Gender Selection. If you am meant to have five children, then one way or the other you'll end up with them.

x

 

[Sunnie1984]

I looked into Cyprus too. Just can't afford it right now Hopefully this beanie is a boy and its not needed

Bigmomma - random question but have you looked at Dubai for when you are ready for it? I don't know whether it works out cheaper once you've flown here etc. I know that you can have the fertility meds prescribed in the UK, and then fly out to Dubai for the egg harvesting and implantation, rather than be there for the full cycle.

I know that the procedure itself is much more affordable in Dubai, but I don't know how the flights and hotels etc effect the overall cost if you are coming from outside the country.

x

 

[bigmomma74]

Yeah Dubai may be an option too. After looking into it Cyprus doesn't seem to have a good success rate with embryos 'taking' (the clinic I checked out anyway) so I did start looking at other options. I didn't come across Dubai though, I was looking at the US which is mega bucks!! Thanks for the heads up

 

[Sunnie1984]

Your welcome

If we decide to go ahead, I'll let you know how it goes etc.

x