Has anyone else refused an early prenatal visit?

[MrsGax]

Hello! I am here for the 3rd time. I have had 2 previous losses. First time I had a ultrasound at 8 weeks 6 days and there was just a yolk. Second time, I had twins but one was "vanishing" and I saw the HB of baby A around 7 weeks and then it stopped around 8-9 weeks as well. This time, I refused to get betas done, and I also do not want to go for an ultrasound until almost the end of first tri. My reasoning is that if something is going to go wrong, there is NOTHING they can do about it at this point and seeing the HB from my last really messed me up. I still cry thinking about them. If I would have waited until 10+weeks, I would have been spotting and already known that something was wrong versus going in and playing the waiting game to see if baby would catch up in growth or not, ultimately to just see the heartbeat stop.

Although I am waiting, I still have very high anxiety that I will start spotting. I keep checking my underwear every single time I go to the restroom. I have not calculated my actual due date yet, even though I know it is in May. Do you think that somehow I know that it is going to go bad for the 3rd time in a row? Like it is some sort of intuition? Or do you think that I am just nervous and worried cause of my past? I thought FOR SURE that baby A would be our rainbow baby, and it wasn't. So I am afraid to believe that this will be it too. Do you think that I can bring a MC on myself with this thinking? I am always a glass half full type of girl, I totally have faith, and totally have read and believe the book The Secret, so I am always worried that the law of attraction has brought them upon me. Cause I worry too much. I am just a basket case of emotions and just wondering if I am normal or need to change my thinking.

 

[briashayy]

Believe it or not, stress can't cause you to miscarry!! According to my doctor anyway. I think a large part of it is what you've already been through, and I just want to say that I am so terribly sorry for each one
However, I refused until today when I was 12 weeks and I don't regret it at all. I'm as anxious as it comes, and I would also check every time I used the bathroom as well! But I knew they'd be able to show me more if I waited, and even though I wanted to be assured some weeks, I held off with that as the motivation.

Fingers crossed and praying for you and your little one!

 

[mummytobe_93]

I had a MC earlier this year and was devastated, i got pregnant a few months later and was certain something was going to go wrong, i wasnt hopeful at all i used to and still do check my underwear for bleeding all of the time- but now i'm here almost 29 weeks pregnant! and i still to this day can't believe it.

i wish you all the luck x

 

[MrsGax]

Believe it or not, stress can't cause you to miscarry!! According to my doctor anyway. I think a large part of it is what you've already been through, and I just want to say that I am so terribly sorry for each one
However, I refused until today when I was 12 weeks and I don't regret it at all. I'm as anxious as it comes, and I would also check every time I used the bathroom as well! But I knew they'd be able to show me more if I waited, and even though I wanted to be assured some weeks, I held off with that as the motivation.

Fingers crossed and praying for you and your little one!

I do believe it, but I also think that in order for stress to cause a MC, there has to be something else working against the baby as well whether it is a chromosome issue, or something else. The only reason I say that is because I have a friend who found out her DH was having an affair when she was 4 weeks pregnant with their 2nd baby and she literally went into a deep dark depression and had panic attacks all the time, and her baby is 5 years old now But I do believe that stress is very toxic... So I try my best to not stress out.
Thank you girl. I am glad that I am not the only one refusing until 11 ish or so weeks. Maybe I should push it back even further lol. Thank you so much for your prayers. I believe in the power of prayer and believe that God has plans. But I just hope that this is my rainbow because honestly, this is not the plan I had for myself at all... I am a senior in nursing school and now graduation will be postponed a semester which sucks, but everything happens for a reason.

 

[MrsGax]

I had a MC earlier this year and was devastated, i got pregnant a few months later and was certain something was going to go wrong, i wasnt hopeful at all i used to and still do check my underwear for bleeding all of the time- but now i'm here almost 29 weeks pregnant! and i still to this day can't believe it.

i wish you all the luck x

Thank you for the response! I am sorry you had to experience a MC as well. They are awful. I check all the time... I almost want to put my finger up and check my cervical mucus (I don't in case of introducing bacteria) to see if it is tinged any color besides white or cream lol. Sorry TMI, but with my MC's, I started spotting brown, then pinkish for weeks. So I am ultra paranoid about CM colors. congratulations on your baby!

 

[Onj]

I've been thinking along the same lines. I had a miscarriage in January and just a few days ago got my positive test result. I know it's going to be a long road before I feel "safe". I'm not telling any family like I did with my 2 daughters or with the baby I miscarried. Instead I'm going to wait until I feel really ready. I just feel like I need to do this differently. However, I hadn't heard the HB with my m/c, my doctor doesn't have a proper Doppler, so I never hear it until I switch from my family doctor to the obgyn and midwives at the clinic around 20 weeks. Not hearing the heartbeat didn't make it any better. I still think about it all the time. This time I self-referred to the midwife and made an appointment for 12 weeks. I haven't decided if I should make an appt with my family doctor before that...

 

[MrsGax]

I've been thinking along the same lines. I had a miscarriage in January and just a few days ago got my positive test result. I know it's going to be a long road before I feel "safe". I'm not telling any family like I did with my 2 daughters or with the baby I miscarried. Instead I'm going to wait until I feel really ready. I just feel like I need to do this differently. However, I hadn't heard the HB with my m/c, my doctor doesn't have a proper Doppler, so I never hear it until I switch from my family doctor to the obgyn and midwives at the clinic around 20 weeks. Not hearing the heartbeat didn't make it any better. I still think about it all the time. This time I self-referred to the midwife and made an appointment for 12 weeks. I haven't decided if I should make an appt with my family doctor before that...

I am sorry about your loss. It sucks man, it makes this whole pregnancy thing not enjoyable. Very unfair that we get to this place where we are terrified of everything. I know, I am still on the fence a well. Right now, my appt is going to be during my 11th week, and I am thinking of pushing it back or going around 10 weeks... then I worry that I should just push it back. I wish that it was like the old days where we only got one around 20 weeks or so. THat is all my mom had and she never worried at all during first trimester.

 

[Melly Belly]

I had my first official prenatal visit last week at 9 weeks 1 day...and while it is a personal choice for anyone if they want to refuse, im glad i had it..they did bloodwork, went over all the do's and dont's, gave me information on the hospital and how to set up for a tour before delivery, etc and also a urine culture..which im glad they did, because apparently when you are pregnant you can have a urinary tract infection/bacteria in your urine and be completely asymptomatic...the trouble, from what i read on a few respected sites, comes from the infection getting into your kidneys, which can cause all sorts of problems...so while i totally respect someone's choice to hold off, im glad that i didnt, otherwise i could be in a hospital with an infection instead of just taking antibiotics for a week...

 

[little moomin]

Of course you will feel something will go wrong, it's all you've ever known, but i think you have made a massive step of personal strength in accepting that at the moment your actions can only cause yourself more grief . It sounds to me that this is probably a massively positive step, not pessimistic at all. I really hope things turn out wonderfully for you this time x