has anyone ever forgiven a cheat?

[daisy777]

my oh did at the begining of our relationship, we split up for a while and eventually got back together. i honestly dont think he would do it again, hes so different, but i just get so upset over it still, and im so fed up of people thinking im an idiot. has anyone ever gone back or is once a cheat always a cheat true? x

 

[lily123]

Ummm it's a matter of opinion i think hunni. I didn't forgive my ex for cheating on me - but that was because it had been going on for months and months, he had no intention of stopping and if i hadn't of caught him, he'd probably have still kept doing it!

If it was a one time thing, he is extremely sorry, and you genuinely believe he wouldn't do it again, though it's still not excusable, it's probably less likely that he'd repeat his behaviour i'd guess, but i don't know, every situation is different.

Hope this helped hunni x x x

 

[AppleBlossom]

Personally I would never forgive a guy who cheated on me. People who do "forgive" a partner don't actually forgive them. It will always come up in arguments, you will be constantly paranoid wondering where they are and who they are with. To me, trust is a must for a relationship to work. Unless you are willing to never ever mention it or think about it ever again, which is pretty much impossible in most cases, there is little or no trust. But that's just my opinion, I'm sure many people have got back with cheating exes and managed to carry on with their relationship

 

[stefni_x]

Tbh, yes i have forgave my OH (and FOB) for cheating and he didnt just do it once but i loved him and took him back now he is a diffrent person i know ppl will think im a idot but now we are happier than ever and im having his baby i know for sure he would never do it again, its just trust if you can learn to trust him again im sure you can make it work , thats just my personal opinion ,


hope everything works out for you


x

 

[bbyno1]

my OH hasnt cheated (i dont think lol) but if i was to of found out he did i think i would take him back..not for a while so he would realise hes mistake but i know id end up giving in coz i love him too much if anything..
i always let him know if he ever was to cheat id never in a million yrs take him back just so he dont think i love him that much that he can just walk all over me.if i ever found out he had been cheatin for like a long period of time,say a yr or something then no i wouldnt coz by then he would be loving this other girl and they would have a bond between em by then im guessin but if it was just a few weeks thing then yeh
but i do think once i found out he cheated i wouldnt be able to trust him fully ever again.
my sisters bf cheated on her n he has changed..spends every minute with her,only goes out with mates when shes there,stays most nights with her if not they talk on the phone til he basicaly falls asleep n stuff like that coz hes trying to proov its not going to happen but how long thatl last for i dont know coz people do need space at some point x

 

[~RedLily~]

ive never been in that situation but no i wouldnt because you would always wonder if they would do it again.

 

[debsxhim]

I agree that its a matter of an opinion. If you feel comfortable enough with it, have discussed it, set boundaries, and etc then maybe he realizes he can't cross that line again. For me, I personally always believed that once a cheater, always a cheater. I met my OH, and we've been together for a year and 4 months. He used to cheat on every single one of his girlfriends, and I'm 100% sure he didn't cheat on me once.

I guess its a matter of trust, relationships build and thrive on trust and if he breaks the trust by cheating on you, he can't expect things to go back to normal. When someone cheats nothing goes back to normal completely, trust me. For me things got akward, I was always snoopy, and changed completely.

I was cheated on before and now I still doubt my OH sometimes. But he has a job, we're getting our own place, he has a car, he only has a few girls in his phone, he's always working (and I know he is), and is completely different then he was before. Guys CAN change, but only if they want to. If he's cheated before, I would personally ditch him.

Sorry for the rant. ​

 

[debsxhim]

Oh, and btw. It wasn't my OH that cheated, it was an ex. I know it completely sounded like I was saying he did. But that would be contradicting myself lol

 

[stephx]

I dont think I could no

xx

 

[AP]

I did. He has changed for sure.

But if I was to have that time back again, and LO wasnt premature, I would have left.

I found out he cheated when I hit 27 weeks. It destroyed me, and I had my baby 4 days later. She was on life support and had a brain haemorrage. That was not the time to be making decisions about our relationship.

We set boundaries, rules, the lot. He knows that one slip up will cost him his family.A year on, and things are good.​

 

[Mumma2B2010]

I was with my ex for 8 months and we were fine until we started to argue over the simplest of things. She would snap at me and not talk to me unless it was to snap at me so I wondered what was wrong, thinking it was my fault. I was walking back from college once with my friends and I caught her with a man in a car. I was heartbroken, not for the fact that she cheated more because she was with a man when she told me no man appealed to her. I was always honest telling her I liked both and she couldn't have given me the same honesty.
I have NEVER forgiven her, I dumped her the same day when she came over to mine and I will never forgive her. That was my only proper relationship with a woman and I felt totally devastated that she had lied to me. I later found out that she had been sleeping with that guy for 4 months.

 

[popples]

I forgave a cheat. He was in a long term relationship and convinced me it was over. He was with me every weekend and could be contacted easily. He lived in another part of the country to me. Five years on, I'm pregnant and he says he is not ready for the commitment. It turns out he never finished his relationship and guess what she is pregnant too! What does she do when I contact her? Turns nasty and basically calls me a slut. He does silent treatment and lies low. I had empathy for her and as she was 35 weeks pregnant when my friend contacted her ( had no idea at that point that they were together ), I was treated appallingly from both of them. My crime - trusting him again as I did love him. I did have gut instincts telling me things weren't right and did finish with him a few times. However he relentlessly pursued me, encouraged me to get pregnant and when it actually happened he did a runner. It's been a difficult time however I am really looking forward to being a mum. I have peace of mind now and my advice to anyone who has that nagging feeling that things aren't right is get out of the relationship fast. Don't waste time looking for evidence. If youre not happy that's enough evidence. This low life was given too many chances. He was very plausible. He has shown a lack of respect for both of us and his children. As he is 47, I don't see any hope of him changing and I wouldnt be surprised if he does this again. I have had five months of peace from him and I can honestly say I feel free. It's awful living a life without trust. It appeared that he'd got away with it all. However life has a funny way of teaching people a lesson. My sister actually works for the same company as him. Last week his boss was sacked for misconduct. Guess who has been asked to manage him.......How we laughed! Of course she will remain professional however it was just the thought of him bricking himself all weekend and that was revenge enough for me. So girls what goes around comes around. I did hope his long suffering gf would dump him however I know he's probably done a right number in convincing her that I pursued him. I also know it takes a lot of strength to go it alone. Good friends and a loving family have helped me and I do feel sorry for anyone who does not have a good support network. As for the children, it is very sad that they have such a selfish dad. I will protect my little one from the truth however if they ever met they will do the maths. Born five months apart will soon tell them that dad was sleeping with two women at the same time.
So girls be careful. I know this is an extreme case of cheating but it is my story and I would never ever forgive a cheat again.

Good Luck
X

 

[Srrme]

My first cheated -- I got back with him, but he cheated again so I cut it off for good. Some people are doomed, but I do think it's possible for people to want to change and actually succeed. However, trust has to be the concrete to any relationship or else it won't work out. Good luck, hun.

 

[Burchy314]

My OH has never cheated on me...I was the one who cheated on him. I went to him the day after in tears and explained everything and told him how sorry I was. He told me he still loved me, but I lost all his trust. Weeks later we were still having some problems but we never broke up and we worked through it. We have been together for almost 2 years now and we are happier then ever and he trusts me completly. I would deff. take my OH back if he cheated, IF it was something like that. If it was a long term cheating then I don't think I could.

 

[libbymarks198]

i would take OH (FOB) back if i found out he had cheated on me. unles i found out he had done it more than once and was planning on doing it again and again... i think they all deserve one chance and i would just miss him so much.

 

[Tanara]

I wouldn't and I have made it very clear to my OH if he ever does cheat he better tell me, because I would find out right away. And I have made it very clear that would be the end of our relationship, So I told him to break up with me before he does it because I would rather he has the respect to break up with me than cheat on me.

Ive been cheated on to much and I cant do a relationship without trust. I did it on my own with my son for a long time and would do it on my own with both of my kids, before ever taking a cheater back no matter how much I love him, and Even if hes the father of my child.

 

[newmommy23]

I have with my OH. However, everyday is hard. It happened last october and yeah, it still hurts. but I love him and its a matter of getting past it. there are still issues but we have to work on them

 

[lizardbreath]

my oh has cheated on me 3 times now. It is never easy to go back to him or forgive him but sometimes You have to do whats best for not just you

 

[AP]

I think thats important - doing whats best for YOU. You'll have people who are against it, and have their opinions, but those people that matter are the ones who are there for you and understand why.

 

[MissMamma]

My OH forgave me, in the middle of our relationship i went out for our friends birthday, he was being a grumpy ******* and didn't come. I was really pissed off as this was on of our really good friends. Anywas i ended up downing a whole bottle of Jack and in the morning i sent this guy a text saying i had a really good night, and that i hoped he wasn't feeling as rough as me! I got a text back saying we need to talk and asking if i remembered anything from the night before. I just laughed and text back Uh oh did i embarrass myself and he text me back just saying we kissed. My heart sunk! i remember exactly how i felt at that moment, and i don't think i'll ever be able to forget it. I showed my OH immediately and he flipped, he was so angry he was shaking, we did split up for about a week and we both had a horrible time, he dragged me down the street calling me whore, he texted my mother telling her she had a slut for a daughter and he almost hospitalised the guy, i spent the entire week crying but eventually we started meeting up for sex and we eneded up getting back together. And he forgave me.

Anyways, dont know why i rambled on for so long! It feels good to write about that sh*t! Not many people have heard it. But now we are stronger than ever before, we love each other more because we realised that we can work through the hard stuff.

Its up to you honey, none of us can say whether you should get back with this guy. But i just want to say that if you really love him and he really loves you you can make it work

And i just want to add, if you decide to forgive this guy you have to do it whole heartedly, if you still get upset about it then there's still something niggling at you. Maybe it would be best to bring it all back out into the open and just tell him how you feel..xx