Hate to make things all about me but....

[hopefulfor1st]

Seriously I'm struggling.

I have pcos and usually don't get AF, I've only ovulated 4x (2 natural and 2 medically induced) of those 4 ovulations I have had by son and 2 miscarriages (one in August and one just over a week ago) due to back to back mcs hubby has forced a ttc break.

So yesterday my little sister came to me - she's 19, no job, lives at home and had been seeing her new boyfriend almost 3 months. And although she's only the pill- she's somehow ended up pregnant. My LMP I calculated just over 6 weeks. 5 days behind where I would've been if I didn't miscarry

My husband and I have been desperately trying 8 months to no avail- she has a pill slip up and gets pregnant.

She thinks due to her situation and her inability to support herself that she should probably terminate it but hasn't decided yet.

I held it together while she was here (she actually said I was the first person cool with it) helped her find the number of a counsellor to discuss it unbiased (mum is pushing her to terminate) but when she left I bawled my eyes out and my husband immediately ran for chocolate!

I really don't know how to feel at this time- I want to be supportive but its eating me up inside. She said she's just hoping if she keeps ignoring it shell miscarry and not have to deal. What I would give for a healthy baby inside me to complete our family!

 

[pandi77]

Please don't hate me for sticking my 2 cents in there but would you two consider adoption in the family? I truly respect anyones decision in this arena but you want bubba.....she may have bubba....tell me to shut up anytime. My sister got pregnant with her 3rd and it wasn't planned and the family talked to us both about this option. They all thought it would make sense for me to adopt the baby but she is keeping it.

Btw my sister gets pregnant looking at her dh and we both got pregnant last April but mine ended up ectopic and she has a baby due on Christmas so I get your pain. Don't give up on your own bean and baby dust to you.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Please don't hate me for sticking my 2 cents in there but would you two consider adoption in the family? I truly respect anyones decision in this arena but you want bubba.....she may have bubba....tell me to shut up anytime. My sister got pregnant with her 3rd and it wasn't planned and the family talked to us both about this option. They all thought it would make sense for me to adopt the baby but she is keeping it.

Btw my sister gets pregnant looking at her dh and we both got pregnant last April but mine ended up ectopic and she has a baby due on Christmas so I get your pain. Don't give up on your own bean and baby dust to you.

My husband has always said he would never adopt even if we couldnt have children at all. Plus at family gatherings etc I'd know the child is hers and always be worried shed get her shit together and want him/her back.
Plus I need to experience pregnancy again and not take advantage being my last time. I want to revel in every minute, seeing as I had my son first go (clomid baby) I am optimistic that I can conceive and carry again- it's just not as easy this time.

It's a wonderful idea but not for us- and adoption is not really common here in Australia.

 

[imogenwanted]

hugs xx dont know what to ay x

 

[hopefulfor1st]

I also feel awful as I feel she's being bullied by the parents to terminate and I just don't have the strength to stick up for her.
As much as it would pain me to see her have this baby I don't think it's fair that she can't make the decision without taking mums feelings into account. She could end up with a lifetime of regret aimed at mum.
I would not push her either way its completely her decision and why both seem to be unthinkable outcomes now ill deal with whatever she chooses

 

[pandi77]

Please don't hate me for sticking my 2 cents in there but would you two consider adoption in the family? I truly respect anyones decision in this arena but you want bubba.....she may have bubba....tell me to shut up anytime. My sister got pregnant with her 3rd and it wasn't planned and the family talked to us both about this option. They all thought it would make sense for me to adopt the baby but she is keeping it.

Btw my sister gets pregnant looking at her dh and we both got pregnant last April but mine ended up ectopic and she has a baby due on Christmas so I get your pain. Don't give up on your own bean and baby dust to you.

My husband has always said he would never adopt even if we couldnt have children at all. Plus at family gatherings etc I'd know the child is hers and always be worried shed get her shit together and want him/her back.
Plus I need to experience pregnancy again and not take advantage being my last time. I want to revel in every minute, seeing as I had my son first go (clomid baby) I am optimistic that I can conceive and carry again- it's just not as easy this time.

It's a wonderful idea but not for us- and adoption is not really common here in Australia.

I understand & even if I'd adopted hers (we hadn't decided) I knew I'd want my own one day. I really hope you get your bfp soon so you don't have to think about these unfair situations that seem to happen to women ttc.

 

[Curligurl]

I totally understand your pain! My sis was thinking about aborting her #4 cause of financing and her very short relationship with the father. I had just had MC #1. I wasn't planning on telling her but I was emotional and upset. Thankfully she decided to keep the baby...It was hard watching her throughout her pregnancy. It was even worse when I had to host her baby shower 1 week after having MC #2! But I did not let my pain show. I was a great host and everyone had a good time.
I know it's hard not to get jealous or compare your situation to others. But somehow you have to put your own emotions aside to be strong for someone else that really needs you. Kudos to you for being supportive...

 

[gonnagetabump]

I think u did the right thing but I would desperately try and persuade adoption. So many willing and ready families....open adoption is an option

 

[gonnagetabump]

Oh and plz don't feelgl guilty about making everything about you....when ttc ive learned its okay to be selfish about your feelings on the matter.