Having her overnight... his rights

[Lu28]

Hopefully you're right and they won't take it to court. Just so you can be seen to be compromising, why don't you suggest he has her on Sunday instead of Friday so he still has his day off and his mum can see her? There isn't any age limit before which dad can't have a child overnight but a relationship has to be established and the LO must be comfortable with dad before overnight can be considered seriously.

 

[MissEfendi]

Hi

Is there proof of this online as my son is 5 months and breastfed but i am not comfortable for my son to be left overnight with the ex til he three and can let me know if he is happy, but i heard dads can have them overnight from the age of 1....

Hey hun,

If it was to go through the courts he would have a bloody hard time getting overnight access untill she turned 3, which is when they deem it suitable to be away from the main carer overnight

From previous court expereince

 

[AppleBlossom]

Hey hun, I know this is from ages ago but I am going through a similar thing at the minute. I spoke to my solicitor and actually even if he is on the birth certificate he doesn't have any rights to have her overnight unless you agree. My ex said it WAS his right to have Grace overnight and if I didn't agree he would take me to court. But unless there is a really good reason why they should have them overnight then a judge will not let them

 

[MissEfendi]

I thought because they are the fathers and they need to bond with their child, that they would be allow to have the overnight? I don't mind if my son is three because at least then he will be vocal, he can say if he is happy , or not, and if he wants to go or not but any age before that I am uncomfortable with, especially since the ex lives two hours away.
We are currently disagreeing over access and he has threatened me with court so I am going to a solicitors to do an agreement of an hour every other saturdays ( cannot do longer than an hour as I breastfeed every two hours, I dont drive so I need to travel half hour to a contact centre and half hour back) I want to go to a contact centre because we have nowhere locally on a saturday for him to see his dad, it has been in family pubs so far and it distresses my son, plus the dad is a bully to me, and swore at me in his text so I prefer a contact centre.

I just dont want to fret that at some point he will demand overnight visits to his home in High Wycombe ( i live in south London) and I will be powerless to stop it so I want to check all my rights and bring it up with the solicitor.

 

[starbucks101]

Hi Miss, Its not a written code... but taking into account you live 2hours apart i really would not worry too much. Yes as his dad he is entitled to overnight access but they take lots of things into consideration before allowing it if there is any contestment from the parent with care.

 

[purpledahlia]

Aw heidi is he being a complete shit again? I would think the courts would be on your side and would expect LO to be at a suitable age before he has overnight visits, for being 2 hours away i would expect it to be a good couple of years at least, Good idea about the contact centre, its more secure isnt it. xx

 

[MissEfendi]

Yep he is being an twat. He said he was on holiday for two to three weeks so I made plans for Caden to have his jabs ( which takes him days to recover) and to visit my family from Sussex, well the ex came back two weeks early and wanted to see him but I said the weekend is not possible because we made plans expecting him to be on holiday but he could see him during week. He said he cant do the week because of work, ( instead of cutting short his holiday and returning straight back to work, why didnt he want to spend the weekdays with his son instead?!) so he said to me, he is going to get his legal rights sorted so that he can see caden when he wants, that he is the dad, FACT, that he is going to contact the registering agency and get recognised as the father, and that I can do it the easy or hard way.

Nice.
I did not reply, and he has not got back in touch so I am sure he is at his solicitors sorting out access. So I have been emailing contact centres, lawyers etc so I can get an agreement drawn up with access every other sat at a contact centre, and no overnigth visits until he is 3 ( can I request that?) also can i request he cannot take our son to his mum's? because the mum's boyfriend was taken to court years ago for sexually abusing his son though it was not proven and I dont want to take any risks when it comes to my son.

 

[purpledahlia]

I amnt sure about his mums, but if he has a police record im sure they would agree with you.. i think the way he is blackmailing you and threatening you is disgusting. Contact centre is the best way, caden wont know its a contact centre.. there will be toys, you and FOB so dont worry about it affecting him. Im sure when caden is old enough to voice his opinions he wont even wanna travel 2 hours away to stay 1 night and then back .. hopefully. as long as FOB smokes cannabis caden wont have to go.. the courts will agree to that, im sure you can probaby request weekly drug tests for this to be prooven (if he says hes quit-which i assume he will say) x