Having to hand your child over to school

[laura109]

Hi everyone my daughter started school in September and I have been so proud of how she has taken to it. She has gone in everyday and come out everyday happy. Teacher always smiles and says she's been fine. I felt a huge sense of relief.... Until parents evening. Then she told me my daughter is abit of a loner in class and wants to stay at the art table too much, so they have made her a chart to force her to leave the art area and do other activities. She also doesn't speak alot and is quiet. She showed me her work books and I noticed she scribbled where they asked her to write letters and her name. I said to the teacher she can write her name we learned it over the summer. She said she had not demonstrated it. On top of this they said she's unable to cut out etc.

I came out feeling abit sad that she wasn't particularly shining in anything. Although they said she's happy and always smiling. I feel abit sad she's not giggling and chatting away to her friends.... I think the loner bit hit me hard as at her nursery leaving party she was the only child not interested in the entertainer and he was handing out sweets. I saw all the other children joining in and my heart sank. My partner reassured me it's because she only did one session. But now she has done five full weeks of school I am sad she still isn't getting more involved. She says she plays with people at dinner but I'm not sure if she is chatting much.

Since her teacher showed her the chart and she sat with us at the parents evening she has been saying she no longer likes school. She hates it. Her classroom is scary etc. All weekend she has been saying she doesn't want to go ever again. I dropped her off Friday and she cried her eyes out. I saw her through the window and that's the first time she's done that.

Handing her over knowing she's not transitioning as well as the others is hard. I suddenly don't feel happy sending her as I feel she has not got the right skills for socialising yet. She also is emotionally struggling this week and it breaks my heart. Even when she comes out with dried beans on her face I feel upset my baby is walking about without an adult to help her wipe her face.

It's so hard handing them over full time isn't it. Just want her happy and playing with the other children. I'm worried she won't find the confidence to make friends.

 

[SmartieMeUp]

Oh bless I think with it being the first term of school, she may be overwhelmed with the fact she is getting into a routine and being away from you. It's near the end and she will be mentally and physically tired. Although it seems they don't work a lot, it really is tiring for the brain to acknowledge surroundings as well as learning new skills.

If she never really socialised beforehand, it will be an entirely new experience for her to conprehend. Shes sounds creative, ask her to make something for a classmate to encourage breaking the ice in building a friendship.

Draw a little heart on your and her hand, to make her feel like you're always with her, even if it's reassurance for you

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Is homeschool an option?

 

[Babybump87]

Oh hun it’s so hard when your first starts school , can totally relate to you . DD1 did 18 months of nursery and loved it couldn’t have been more happier !

Then she started reception and was split up from her group of friends (I even posted on here ) my little girl full of life and so happy became anxious, emotional and scared , crying every day she didn’t wanna go, she had the same teacher from nursery too who said she was just as happy as she was in nursery but that wasn’t the child I was seeing anymore and it just broke my heart . Reception from nursery is a massive change for them (and us ) we just want to protect our children at the end of the day in every way possible .

I know school are trying to encourage her to move away from the art area but I would ask them to remove the chart as it seems to be causing her move distress ! Maybe they could involve more children in playing in that area and give your daughter more chances to talk in class etc .

It’s still very early days for her 5 weeks in . DD1 didn’t settle until around the December and she made lots of friends ! She absolutely loves school, give your DD time , try re assure her as much as possible, invite a few play mates over to your house / play area outside of school , I like Smarties idea of the heart too .

It’s so stressful we had plenty of tears from DD1 and myself god I was so stressed ! Hopefully in a few weeks she will settle down. X