He pays more for the dog!!

[pinkish_angel]

I split with my daughters dad about 3 years ago.. we have a 6 year old dog and a 5 year old daughter. Both live with me. He is a manager so I know his wage.. he has always done similar roles and we always had money when we were together. He now conveniently claims that he is broke and can't afford to give me any money for our daughter (he pays all the rent and bills for him and his 16 years younger girlfriend so he says). He has his daughter 1 night a week from 6.30pm (when he finishes work) - she is usually in bed for 7pm so its very inconvenient - and he brings her back the following day at midday. Anyway, to get to the point, he pays £30 a month to petplan for our dogs insurance policy. Now, I aint complaining, I love my dog obviously and its a great help. However, he pays NOTHING for my daughter??!! He buys her clothes etc and toys.. they get kept at his house. She can't usually bring things home so most the toys she has for christmas/birthdays etc are too small for her now and yet she hasn't has any play out of them as she is at his house so little. It seems daft to me. I am currently out of work so I have never gone down the CSA route but as soon as I get a job I am defo gonna do his ass as he is blatantly taking the piss!! sorry.. no real reason to write this but just needed a rant!!!

 

[moomin_troll]

i remember hearing if ur on benifits and get money thru csa they take money off ur benifits dont they?

thats disgusting that he doesnt give u child support, how the hell does he think ur daughter is fed? your daughter is more important then a dog.

i think i posted on one of ur threads ages ago about him being a waste of space when u were together

 

[pinkish_angel]

i remember hearing if ur on benifits and get money thru csa they take money off ur benifits dont they?

thats disgusting that he doesnt give u child support, how the hell does he think ur daughter is fed? your daughter is more important then a dog.

i think i posted on one of ur threads ages ago about him being a waste of space when u were together

yeh hun.. I believe you get the first £20 thats all.. so no point me even bothering until its worth doing. Even though sometimes I feel like claiming it off him anyway and making him pay regardless, even if I don't get it So many times tho I give him the chance to do it privately without getting the CSA involved. He agrees and says he will start paying as soon as 'this' or 'that'. He gives me £20 to keep me sweet and then nothing again.. men! urgh!

 

[moomin_troll]

id take away his visits if hes not paying for her support then why should he get to see her. sounds like hes busy babysitting anyway with a 16yr old gf

 

[pinkish_angel]

she's 16 years younger than him, not 16 She's 22 and he's 38. I really wish I could say he can't see our daughter but its really not fair on her as she loves going there. I'd hate to use her as a weapon. Its bang out of order how he feels that his simple 'I can't afford it' is enough and I will just suffer through paying for everything alone while he is enjoying his life with his new girlfriend. He changed his night to have her this week to thursday instead on tomorrow as he is going on a lads holiday so won't be available to have her. That doesn't sound like a skint man to me. He also went on holiday last month on a sun holiday. Ok, only a sun holiday but I'm the one having to pay for my daughter to go on holiday, otherwise she wouldn't have one. Yet he goes away and doesn't even offer to take her with him??!! even though they went with another couple and their children??!! Its the little things that annoy me! Inconsideration.

 

[moomin_troll]

oh right lol i really need to read things better hahaha

its the little things that are most important so i get why these things are getting to u. its disgusting hes gone away and not even taken her.
he really needs to wake up and realise he needs to be paying for ur daughter.

id get a cheaper pet insurance and then he has no reason not to give u the extra from that for ur daughter

 

[pinkish_angel]

oh he'd find another excuse. I'm scared to change the insurance or kick up a fuss incase he stops that too and to be honest, my dog is getting on so I'd worry that he'd need it soon. I know he's 'only a dog' but I love him still. I do think its pretty grim that my dog's insurance is getting paid yet my daughter is getting zero tho! I thought about saying 'pay me the 30 a month direct' and doing what you say and getting a cheaper insurance. I know he would find an excuse not to pay me tho and I dont wanna rock the boat and end up with nothing for both my daughter AND the dog iukwim?! Atleast while he is paying the pet insurance its money that I don't have to find out of my own pocket I guess!

 

[moomin_troll]

i get its not just a dog but when u compare pet insurance to a child then for me it becomes just a dog.

some men really dont deserve to be called a daddy! it really gets on my nerves how many scumbags are out there doing fuck all for their children. my oh worked his arse off so that when he wasnt around anymore the kids would be looked after and they are

 

[pinkish_angel]

You are right.. the whole fact that he pays more for the dog than his daughter is an insult to my daughter

There are some fab men out there.. my dad for one. He works every day 8am till 7pm at night. We never wanted for anything. Thats what annoys me the most.. the fact that in comparison, all the men I have ended up with laugh in the face of that..

What happened to your OH hun? xxx

 

[moomin_troll]

You are right.. the whole fact that he pays more for the dog than his daughter is an insult to my daughter

There are some fab men out there.. my dad for one. He works every day 8am till 7pm at night. We never wanted for anything. Thats what annoys me the most.. the fact that in comparison, all the men I have ended up with laugh in the face of that..

What happened to your OH hun? xxx

he died novemeber last yr, he was a great dad so it really pisses me off when i hear about dicks like ur ex who just dont do enough when my oh did everything he could like ur dad for our son.

he made sure wed be looked after if and when the worst happened so zane gets money each month for him and also savings.
he didnt no i was pregnant before he died but im sure he does now.

its being in the single parent thread that actualy makes me think im lucky in away that i dont have FOB around to cause trouble for me

 

[pinkish_angel]

awww hun, I'm so sorry These men take for granted what they have.. they don't appreciate it and think its fine to plod through life neglecting their responsibilities. Its always the good ones

oh he will of course know now.. and he will always be with you all. Sooo sad hun

Shame on dad's that don't pull their weight and pay for their children. Hopefully the future will invent something to stop dead-beat dad's producing sperm

xx

 

[xSophieBx]

Hiya, No advice on much else BUT as of april last year, the csa doesn't take benefits into account so u'd get it all. CSA are crap, but if he refuses u haven't got much of an option. Phone them up NOW! xx

 

[pinkish_angel]

oh really???? I wonder why I didnt kno this sooner. I'll defo be raising the issue again then and telling him its pay now or the CSA will be on his back.. not just for our daughter but for his other 2 that he has done a runner from!

 

[moomin_troll]

if either of my sons try and be a crap dad i will beat them up lol i wouldnt put up with my son not taking responsibility for their children.

woo thats good news that csa dont take ur benifits into account so i would call them too

 

[Kacie]

i remember hearing if ur on benifits and get money thru csa they take money off ur benifits dont they?

thats disgusting that he doesnt give u child support, how the hell does he think ur daughter is fed? your daughter is more important then a dog.

i think i posted on one of ur threads ages ago about him being a waste of space when u were together

yeh hun.. I believe you get the first £20 thats all.. so no point me even bothering until its worth doing. Even though sometimes I feel like claiming it off him anyway and making him pay regardless, even if I don't get it So many times tho I give him the chance to do it privately without getting the CSA involved. He agrees and says he will start paying as soon as 'this' or 'that'. He gives me £20 to keep me sweet and then nothing again.. men! urgh!

If you're in the UK then this is NOT TRUE - Whatever you get as child support from FOB is no longer taken off of benefits... the rules changed last year.
All you get from FOB goes straight to your children. I have had this confirmed by income support and mediators.

Take him to CSA hun, I get £200 a month (private agreement) that has been delclared to income support and none of it is taken off of benefits.


EDIT : ooops sorry, didn't realise someone had already said this!
xx

 

[pinkish_angel]

thank you Kacie.. I am defo gonna give them a ring on Monday morning.. after of course texting him with what I'm doing. He always tells me 'oh I'll just quit my job then and go on the dole'. He is THAT determined not to pay anything??!! I really don't know why! Fair enough if he really couldn't afford to pay it but I KNOW he can as he can afford to buy £60 t-shirts and £120 pairs of jeans and £100 watches for his gf etc etc.. plus all the hols and nights out and TWO cars he has etc. It makes me wonder why he is so set against helping me put a roof over our daughters head and food in her tummy. Oh well. Men will be men. Or he will be him. I know there are some good ones out there. xx

 

[moomin_troll]

is he stupid? even if hes on the dole they will instantly take money out of that for his child support lol

 

[pinkish_angel]

well it seems he would cut off his nose to spite me.. !! KARMA is all I'm gonna say

 

[moomin_troll]

i wouldnt even warn him ur called csa, u need help and hes got to give it! and if hes stupid enough to quit his job he will soon realise how thick that is as u dont get benifits for months after u quit a job as its ur own fault.
then when he got benifits they would take money for ur daughter out of his payments.

 

[pinkish_angel]

Its gonna have to be done. I did try and do it without going thru the CSA but he aint having none of it and I aint playing dumb to it anymore. Ive put up with this for 3 years now and its not on!! Thanks for your support xxxx