Health Visitor Rant!!!

[laura.x.x]

I had to meet with my health visitor today which I find a bit strange considering I'm only 12 weeks.

Firstly i told her i had a subchorionic hematoma (blood clot in my uterus), n then she was like are you exercising enough at the moment, i was like duh i cant i have a hematoma??n she was like how are you gonna get rid of it, i was like i cant you idiot it has to dissolve!

If your job is to help pregnant people, surely you'd have to learn a bit bout bein pregnant!!

Then she asked if i had ever been pregnant before and i said yeah straight before this n had to have a d & c unfortunatley .... later on in the appointment she said do you think your termination has affected you badly, i was like wtf i did not have a termination!! Then she was like oh ok,(no apology) do you think having had a miscarriage will affect your abilitys to be a parent?


Then she said because i dont talk to my mum and my partner doesnt talk to his dad, we'll find it harder to be parents and harder to cope and im likely to get depressed! I told her she was wrong, and I have quite a happy life and the rest of our family are supportive and nice. She said that didnt matter!!

She also automatically assumed because we're young (I'm 20, he's 21) we don't live together and asked what benefits i was going to apply for (like income support etc) - because all young people obviously claim benefits, none of us work ey

So different to talking to my lovely midwife!! Grrr, sorry just had to rant it out!! x x

 

[Las78]

OMG hun, she sounds awful! Am surprised you have an HV at 12 weeks although by the sounds of it would be much better off without one.

If I were you I wouldn't bother with her again, if she phones to book an appointment just tell her you don't feel it's necessary to see her.

Can't believe she had the cheek to mention termination or that you wouldn't cope, really, she needs to find another job.

Grr, fuming for you hun. Hope you're ok after all that and thank goodness you have a lovely midwife x

 

[LoobyBump]

Personally i'd put in a complaint! The least she needs is some re-training by the sounds of things!

Don't let her attitude upset you though, good luck with the rest of your pg xxx

 

[Mummy2Asher]

thats very weird you had a health visitor come round? they only come around after you have the baby?!?!
and the things she was saying was out of order, so many people are marrying and starting families younger. i have a friend who is 22, married with 2 kids and owns 2 houses and her husband is an accountant!
and i had my son completely on my own, no family or friends, i made new friends at mum and baby groups and i never got depressed, i always tell people that was the best time in my life.
dont dwell on it, hopefully you wont have to see her again! xxx

 

[blondee]

Oh my god!!! I agree with Looby - you should complain. The woman needs some retraining and quick!! How dare she be so personal and judgemental??? Please try to forget the whole episode, she is obviously not qualified to do her job.

 

[laura.x.x]

Thanks girls, I feel a lot better now just getting it out!! I know I should complain but I don't think I will, too much effort, I'd rather just forget her and get on with a happy pregnancy!! x x

 

[Samemka]

Stupid, stupid woman! I would definitely complain. People shouldn't be in that kind of job if they can't a) know basic facts and b) REMEMBER WHAT THEY ARE TOLD!!

BIG xxxx

 

[im_mi]

good grief!! thats well out of order. i was 19 when i fell pregnant with my son and people constantly assumed that he wasnt planned and even asked if i was still with the father!! i would never have expected that kind of presumption from a health professional, though.

 

[KatyKat]

Wow, she sounds like an absolute charmer! How the hell do people like that end up in these jobs?!?!?

I would definitely complain - chances are you're not the only person she has offended/is going to offend, and she definitely soundls like she needs some additional training............

 

[Tulip]

Definitely complain - I don't think she's in quite the right job.

Mind you I got a HV appointment through the post the other week. I thought it was a bit strange at 9 weeks pregnant so I rang them up and said "You don't think I'm 32 weeks pregnant, do you?"

Yes they did - the fact that my baby died four months earlier hadn't made it round the various departments of this Trust and they were planning on bringing her red book! Genius! Needless to say I threw a complete fit down the phone (I was at work at the time) and they had to get a MW on the phone to calm me down. IDIOTS.

 

[summer rain]

Hi

the health visitors in this area are great but the ones in my old area sound as clueless and stupid as the idiot who visited you. With my youngest I had a home birth and the health visitors overlooked me and sent one over about 6 weeks after I had my little one; the woman clearly had no children of her own and looked horribly alarmed at how 'boisterous' my kids were (which compared to a lot of kids; is not very!) she then suggested to me I'd probably be unable to cope. I also had a very bad experience when my youngest developed the same allergy problems as my middle son; they totally ignored the fact that my middle son had exactly the same problems and it was all written in his blue book; and both of them started to lose weight due to the allergies at exactly the same time. The health visitor just robotically told me to take a yield with a breast pump and switch to formula if I didn't get x amount of oz out at each feed. Never mind that I'd just told her that my middle son was in hospital with breathing difficulties after eating a spoonful of yoghurt...