health visitors really do my head in :(

[loz27]

sorry but i need to rant.

why do health visitors have to worry you?

my lo was born at a great weight of 8lb10 and on the 75th centile line. within a few weeks he dropped to 7lb13 and really took a while to regain his birth weight. he dropped to the 50th centile and stayed there for a little time. unfortunately he developed nasty reflux and was in alot of pain. he had a few milk changes and a few different meds and in the process his weight suffered and he dropped to the 25th centile. i was reffered to a peadiatrician who upped his meds but this didnt help and eventually got his reflux under control with sma staydown.

he as done really well with the sma staydown but he only wants 4 feeds a day totalling around 27oz dailly. ive tried to feed him more often and he is just not hungry for it and wont take it and would drink less. i tried a dreamfeed but was advised against it as i was told i was forming an unesessary habit.

i have had him weighed regular to monitor his weight and every time i go i come away feeling so worried as the hv's always make a big drama over his slow weight gain. he as gained ok in recent weeks but as gradually dropped towards the middle of the 25th and 9th centile.

when i went today she said "you know babys are supposed to increase there ounces as they get older" like i was really stupid. she told me to feed him more often as if i havent tried this. she said maybe i was mistakenly giving him the dummy when he was hungry arrggghh i know when my baby is hungry. she stared at his weight chart with a worrying look even thou today he was 14lb and gained 7oz from last week.

now i am really stressed again at feed times and spent ages trying to get him to have his last few ounce. im sure me being stressed feeding him wont help him take more. ive even started to worry there is something wrong with him
he is meeting all his targets in every other way thou, i dunno

anyone else had there lo been really slow weight gainers and drop centile lines and been fine.

does anyone find hv's worry you and make a big drama out of everything, or should i be worried.

sorry for the long post, just worked up x

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Don't stress! As long as he is having plenty of dirty nappies, why worry? I mostly smile and nod at my HV. She has some good advice, but mostly, I do my own thing. It's better now cause she only comes once a month

 

[patch2006uk]

Percentiles aren't a competition to reach 100. Your LO is gaining, that's what matters. Not whether he settles on the 99th percentile or the 2nd! Don't stress, just keep offering his feeds as normal. He'll let you know if he's hungry

 

[taylor197878]

dont worry aslong as he is gaining weight then he is fine.

i got a leacture yesterday cause i was giving brooke cows milk i just nodded they must think we are stupid.

 

[loz27]

he certainly lets me know when he is hungry lol. i think i am going to stay away from the weigh ins for a while now. i am happy with his milk intake until i go there and they get me all worried.

tbh i dont think he was ever meant to stay on the 75th centile anyhow. both my girls were good weights when they were born and they never followed the line they were born on.

i think it was the way she spoke to me today also, very patronising. like it was my fault he was dropping centile lines.

thanks for taking the time to read my offloading post lol. think i have a case of pmt too at the moment haha x

 

[x Michelle x]

Oh god i know the feeling! My LO has Congenital Hypothyroidism and we were told this can cause slow growth. As soon as my HV heard this she was down weighing her 2x a week! T started at almost 20th centile, but was a bit slower regaining her birth weight after a stay in NICU and she had to be fasted. Also this meant i couldn't do the newborn cluster feed as i wasn't next to her 24 a day!
Anyway, she is now approaching 50th centile after dipping into 2nd centile when she was 2 months old. She is a fussy madam with her milk tho, now its a battle to get 20oz in a day along with meals.
Gaining 7oz in a week is really good hun! Please don't stress about getting your LO to have "that last ounce" as you have said, you know when your baby is hungry.

 

[summer rain]

It seems to be HVs' job to be patronising and make you feel like crap unfortunately Thankfully with my second eldest I had a decent one; because otherwise she would have had my guts for garters when he dropped 7, yes 7 centile lines to the 0.4th-instead this nice HV helped us get a referral and said she has seen much worse (in cases such as my son as he had allergies and malabsorption) and that after a while he should start to gain more than average weight to catch up. At around 7 or 8 months he started piling on the pounds and was back up to the 75th centile line by 24 months of age and he has had no lasting effects from being really petite for a while xx

 

[Blondie_xx]

My lo only has between 25-28oz a day, I thought this was about right?

 

[x Michelle x]

Can i just add tho that when i went for our 6 month check, she was so pleased with how well T was doing and said she was so proud of me for coping so well. I think she was just a bit over zealous to start with!
How is your LO blondie?

 

[Blondie_xx]

He's only 10 weeks but worried now he's not having enough milk! Or maybe that's alot for his age, I will have to ask health visitor next time!

 

[loz27]

also when i came out the room to the waiting area she said to me in front of everyone "oh and remember not to stress when feeding your baby as it can really rub off on them" it was only when i left did i run it all back through my head that it was not me who was the one going on about trying to force extra ounces into him. i really wish i would of said well i wasnt stressed feeding him but i probably will be now ive seen you.

thanks for all your reassurance though. i do feel less worried having read these posts. my rational side of my brain knows there is absolutely nothing wrong with him but that neurotic worrying mother side seems to kick in when things are put in my head lol x

 

[x Michelle x]

i would say so T was only having about 20oz @ 10 weeks. Like i said, fussy madam!
The side of the formula tin usually has a guide on it for a rough idea

 

[loz27]

He's only 10 weeks but worried now he's not having enough milk! Or maybe that's alot for his age, I will have to ask health visitor next time!

hope this thread hasnt made you worry more.

think my hv got on her high horse over the slow weight gain, not the ounces.

that amount sounds fine to me for a 10wk old x

 

[Blondie_xx]

Thanks, he must be a little piggy! He was only 6lb 7oz born n the health visitor says sometimes smaller babies put on weight more quickly to catch up!

 

[lozzy21]

Tell her to do one!

Niamh was 8lb 15 born and is only 18lb at 10 months and the HV isn't bothered at all.

 

[loz27]

Tell her to do one!

Niamh was 8lb 15 born and is only 18lb at 10 months and the HV isn't bothered at all.

thankyou. thats very reassuring.

been thinking about it tonight and come to the conclusion that he is an active little monkey and he burns off calories fast lol.

he sleeps 12 hrs at night but only as a couple of cat naps during the day. they are not even worth shutting his eyes for lol. he spends his day kicking, squirming, arms in the air. playing in his jumperoo or with his activity gym. he loves to stand up on my knees and refuses to sit down. he is a very energetic little boy and wears me out haha. i think this might explain where is calories are going lol x

 

[BabyBoo36]

I wouldn't worry. My usual HV is completely fab, but a few weeks ago Freya started fussing over feeds and dropping ounces, and went down a centile from 50th to 25th. I was told from another HV (mine was on holiday) to schedule feed her 5oz every 3.5 hours! There was no way she would take it, it was interfering with her sleep, and after a few weeks of both me and her being distressed at every feed, I thought - "Sod you, I'm doing it my way." I went back onto demand feeding on monday. Frey is feeding every 4 hours (her usual), sleeping better, and today has taken 3x5oz bottles and 2x5.5oz!

My usual HV visited on tuesday, and I admitted I'd gone back to "our way", and she just said "That's fine - look at her, she's thriving and happy". Some HV hold too much stock by the dreaded centiles - thankfully mine seems sensible!

 

[loz27]

i have a regular hv but i never see her. shes only been to my home a few times. i go to the weighing clinics and they have different ones everytime and have very different advise too.

i have been told to only demand feed in the past but today was totally different. when i told the hv today i used to dreamfeed she gave me a very puzzled look and said how do you manage that. it can cause choking and gagging in there sleep. none of the other hv's ever told me that.

i think it is best to just see one hv to prevent contradicting advise.

glad you went off your instinct and it worked out

well i fed my lo tonight when he wanted it. he only wanted 6oz and i didnt persist trying to give him the last 2oz.

thank god for bnb

 

[BabyBoo36]

Frey always wakes up when I attempt to "dreamfeed" her anyway! Do they think we are stupid enough to feed a choking baby??! Mind you, my MIL said the same thing.....

 

[crossroads]

All I have to say is:

Health Visitors: Help or Hindrance?