heartbroken.....

[pink_phoenix]

My best friend found out just after I had my MMC in may that she was expecting her 3rd baby and as hard as it was at the time I was over the moon for her because she's such a beautiful person and such an amazing mother to her two little boys, I really couldn't hold against her what had happened to me.

At her gender scan she found out she was having a girl and we were so excited as she was desperate for a girl and I wanted her to have a girl so I'd have some one to dress up in pink and play dollies with when I went round, boys are great but they stopped letting me dress them as girls a long time ago haha.

Fast forward a bit when I found out I was expecting she was the first person I told and she's been amazing helping me keep sane to get to where I am now, I honestly don't know what I'd do with out her!!

I spoke to her today as she's been having regular scan as baby is a little on the small side but now there worried about her!!! Even to the point where my friend is starting steroid injections and being told they may have to deliver early!!

I'm so heart broken for her at the thought of the baby being at any risk. I was really hoping this pregnancy would go text book for her as neither the boys were straight forward, the eldest of which is still having heart opperations!!

I've said as much as I can to reasure her but I just don't want to sound like one of those people who come out with stupid comments like my sisters friends brother...... we all know one I'm sure.

I'm feeling a little lost and all the confidence I had in my own pregnancy has now just flown out the window.

I've told her i'll do anything I can to be there when ever she needs me but I'm worried she may not ask as she doesn't want anything to stress me out

I can't even think straight, even rung my mum at work crying, it just had to come out.

Think that's y I've written this, all the feelings I've got can't stay in I know as it's not good for my health or the babies and some times just writing here hiding behind a computer I can say exactly how I think and feel with out people close to me getting upset

Thank you for giving me a place to get out what I need. In times like this I cannot express what it means to me

Xx

 

[eulmh82]

Ah didn't want to read and run. Nobody really knows what to say in these situations. Just be there for her and keep her mind busy I guess to stop her dwelling on it and trust that the doctors know what they're doing and they'll do everything to deliver a healthy baby. My friend had steroid injection with her twins who eventually had to be induced so it was just a precaution but they've given her that to strengthen the baby's lung so that if she delivers early the baby has the best possible chance. I'll keep everything crossed for you all x

 

[eulmh82]

Sorry re your pregnancy it is a very scary time especially when sb you know is going through this. But every pregnancy is different , just take good care of yourself too x

 

[pink_phoenix]

Thank you
I've said all I can to her that I can think is useful. Don't want to mither at her either tho so just gonna let her chill and then come to me if she wants to talk.

I know doc are amazing and the facilities are world's apart compared to even years ago. I think I'm more upset she's having to go thru it than I actually am worried I think if that makes sense xx

Thanks again for you'r kind words xx

 

[bebedreamr]

Its wonderful your friend has someone like you there to support and encourage her! That alone would be a great comfort in a scary time. Good friends like you are a true gift!

I am hoping for a happy outcome for your friend and her baby

 

[mummytobe_93]

Aw poor woman how far is she?

They can do wonders for preemies now! Really hope she and her baby are ok xx

 

[pink_phoenix]

I think she's about 30 weeks. There monitoring her over the next two and then making a decision so she's not going to be miles away but even a week sooner is too soon xx

Thank you everyone for words of encouragement and good wishes. It's wonderful to see. Wasn't really sure I'd get many replies. I just wrote the original post to vent almost xxx

 

[Laura2806]

30wks is good! My friend has been told that after loosing a baby term due to unknown reasons at the time, that if needs be she will be delivered at 30wks and that it'll be perfectly fine for baby. Yes baby is showing as being small but these scans aren't completely accurate.

All you can do is be there for her, praying both your friend and baby and you and baby! Xxx

 

[pink_phoenix]

Thank you Laura xx

How are you getting on? When is your next scan now? I know I've asked but proper scatter brains at minute xx
I must admit after winding my OH up for a bit I was a little gutted I wasn't having twins. Starting to think maybe another addition a bit further down the line may be on the cards now haha xx

 

[tryn4]

As pp stated the steroid injection is just to help the lungs along which are last to develop. My Sil just went through this and she had so many complications including open cervix plus she was in my home country which is the carribean and imo the medical system is very backward. She had to endure almost 6 days like that in active Labour injections etc until they decided to csec the baby 5 weeks early. I can report that my niece is a very healthy just turned 1 yrs old toddler. Try not to worry and stress yourself. I'm sure everything will work out. Take care xx

 

[Laura2806]

You're welcome hun very scary time!

I'm good thanks, not got apt through yet so might call hospital tomorrow and ask them! Bless ya hun, nothing stopping you trying again in a few years or so! my lb is just turned 2 and we started TTC when he was 5months old, took us til now to get a sticky bean! Worth it though! So very worth it! Xx

 

[Laura2806]

Oh and you should pop along to my journal hun xx

 

[vicky1210]

At 32 weeks with my 2nd whos now a healthy but smaller 18 month old....
I was measured by tape measure and I was so out tiny tiny bump

started growth scans weekly

it was very scary as I was told right steroid injection was a must had that twice at around 33 weeks and it hurt like hell

Fast forward the weeks more scans

and then decided to deliver 38 weeks she was 5lb yes small for age but healthy

I was panicked and they don't really say much and i was prepared for early delivery

any ways shes now 17lb still my little dot but just perfect!

 

[pink_phoenix]

You're welcome hun very scary time!

I'm good thanks, not got apt through yet so might call hospital tomorrow and ask them! Bless ya hun, nothing stopping you trying again in a few years or so! my lb is just turned 2 and we started TTC when he was 5months old, took us til now to get a sticky bean! Worth it though! So very worth it! Xx

Awww I already thought u had ur next date! I'm back at hospital tomorrow but not sure if it's booking appointment or a specialist/ consultant appointment due to high risk!
Was a long time then between LO's but then again you've got two in one go new hehe xxx

 

[pink_phoenix]

At 32 weeks with my 2nd whos now a healthy but smaller 18 month old....
I was measured by tape measure and I was so out tiny tiny bump

started growth scans weekly

it was very scary as I was told right steroid injection was a must had that twice at around 33 weeks and it hurt like hell

Fast forward the weeks more scans

and then decided to deliver 38 weeks she was 5lb yes small for age but healthy

I was panicked and they don't really say much and i was prepared for early delivery

any ways shes now 17lb still my little dot but just perfect!

Awww that's great to hear she's doing so well xx
Thank you for the reply too, it's great to hear positive out come xx

 

[mummytobe_93]

My sister is a children's nurse and she looks after 22weekera that are survivors. I also have a friend that has a 26 weeker and a 30 weeker both are great and are healthy as can be

It is early but remember viability is 24 weeks doctors are amazing these days x

 

[Laura2806]

You're welcome hun very scary time!

I'm good thanks, not got apt through yet so might call hospital tomorrow and ask them! Bless ya hun, nothing stopping you trying again in a few years or so! my lb is just turned 2 and we started TTC when he was 5months old, took us til now to get a sticky bean! Worth it though! So very worth it! Xx

Awww I already thought u had ur next date! I'm back at hospital tomorrow but not sure if it's booking appointment or a specialist/ consultant appointment due to high risk!
Was a long time then between LO's but then again you've got two in one go new hehe xxx

Nope not yet! They're rubbish at sending out letters lol gonna call them this morning! I'm hoping it's next week, will be the week after at the latest! Yh could be history apt if it's at hospital, my first consultant apt wi be at 16wks. And yep took us a while due to pcos and a loss but we got there, def two in one this time! Just wanna see them again to know they're both ok! Any update on your friend? Xxx

 

[pink_phoenix]

I'm going to text her later and see how she's going on. I know she's back at hospital for another injection but she's also gotta sort kids for school and stuff so normally wait till around lunch time to get hold of her. Also I don't like texting all the time, everyone likes time to them self's during the day don't they. Or i'll just text saying love you or miss you. That way she doesn't have to reply but atleast she knows I'm thinking of her xxx

 

[Laura2806]

Yh it's difficult isn't it, trying to find the right balance! Like you say if you just let her know you're thinking of her that's probably all she needs and can get in touch in her own time xx

 

[Mumdadandb]

You're a good friend...just be there for her but also know when to give her some space. I hope everything goes well for her...such a sad situation