Heather storyline on EastEnders

[ouchwithNo.2]

I don't watch soaps but MIL was over last night watching this and I caught it before we went for dinner. It was very sad. Heather appears to be the most tragic character ever made.

Makes me very appreciative that we've never had to (and hopefully never will have to) live pay-day to pay-day and/or wonder where our next meal will come from or if we can afford the bills etc. I'd hate to be in that situation.

I don't think the generalisation about spending the money on cigarettes etc was really that inaccurate. Of course it doesn't apply in this situation and there will be lots of people out there who do not know what they can claim & those that use the benefits they get well etc. But from someone who grew up in a very poor council estate and on benefits... my mother (and all of her friends) never had a lack of cigrattes, weed and drink... but often would be without electricity and food. We'd even have many nights where my mum would make us toast for dinner, in the dark, using her lighter. Not everyone is the same but this kind of thing does happen a lot xx

I agree, my mum came from a large family, one of 6 kids.
They lived in a small 3 bed in the middle of nowhere and her dad worked in a saw mill earning very little.
Women back then weren't expected to work and they had very little growing up.
Mum tells me about borrowing her friends pe kit at school because she never had one, her treat, once a week, was a yoghurt from the milkman but what she remembers the most even to this day is that her mum and dad never went short on fags.
She even says it to her mum now (her dad is dead), how they had to suffer and go without as kids but they still managed to smoke and somehow find the money for that....

 

[bbyno1]

It's strange..People who smoke and say they have no money always say ' you will always find money for cigerettes '
I just wonder how??

 

[leelee]

I'm bored now. I don't know why you are being such a .... (what's the word??)

And I haven't a clue what you are talking about now. 'So you saying 'That's fine. But I'm not sure you are being nice about expressing your opinion....' means all of the above.' WHAT?

Don't worry about it. If you can't decipher your own random statements then I am not going to try.

Anyway this has gone OT so if you want to continue to argue with me further then by all means PM me.

Hopefully the thread can get back on track.

I have better things to do with my time than PM you....

 

[MarchMummy11]

It was supposed to mean that single parents get plenty of money to live from what we recently discovered. I'm quite sure that people who can't afford electricity come on bnb very often!

It was also meant to be taken with a pinch of salt.

I do get what you mean.

I have a single friend who gets all sorts of benefits, she also gets a house through the council etc. She's got all the latest consoles, her clothes are all designer...I could go on.

Me and my partner both work (well i'm on mat leave), we rent our own place and we just about manage to get along if we stick to our budgets.

I have nothing against single parents and I would much rather have my partner and the support then be in that situation...but it does sometimes feel like they've got it easier (NOT saying they have)

 

[ttc_lolly]

In this day & age it doesn't happen. Unless the parent is abusing their benefits and not spending it on what they should!! But being on JSA or IS you have the option to get crisis loans if you really have nothing, and if you have a minor that doesn't have food/milk/nappies or electricity/gas to they can't refuse you money, they just can't. The jobcentre then take out a £1 of our benefit off you a week to pay it back.

 

[kirstylm]

Makes u appreciate what u got really doesnt it.

I was shouting at her last night though, feel bad for her but dont be a loser, swallow ur damn pride woman and take what ur given!! Go to the dad for help and ask for it!!! Stupid woman! And when she left him, OMG!!!

Anyway, wont let a soap wind me up but seriously surely no mum would be so stubborn as to not ask for help when they have a child to look after! Grr!

 

[MarchMummy11]

It's strange..People who smoke and say they have no money always say ' you will always find money for cigerettes '
I just wonder how??

That bugs me!! My mum is terrible for that...she struggles to buy food and stuff for my brother as she likes to go out on the piss all the time...and yet she ALWAYS has money for fags

 

[leelee]

In this day & age it doesn't happen. Unless the parent is abusing their benefits and not spending it on what they should!! But being on JSA or IS you have the option to get crisis loans if you really have nothing, and if you have a minor that doesn't have food/milk/nappies or electricity/gas to they can't refuse you money, the just can't. The jobcentre then take out a £1 of our benefit off you a week to pay it back.

It can and does happen if people are not aware of what they are entitled to and that they can get crisis loans.

 

[stacie-leigh]

It's strange..People who smoke and say they have no money always say ' you will always find money for cigerettes '
I just wonder how??

That bugs me!! My mum is terrible for that...she struggles to buy food and stuff for my brother as she likes to go out on the piss all the time...and yet she ALWAYS has money for fags

Yes that is what I was saying. I was brought up on benefits and there were plenty of times when we had no gas. Yet my mum always, always had fags. And I'm sure she isn't the only one.

 

[bbyno1]

That's what i mean,every situation is different.
Where your mum did have money for gas but decided to spend it on her cigerettes instead,some mums might have 15 pound in their gas and have no cigerettes and not be struggling because they decide to spend their money on the most important things..
Not being horrible to your mum because i know a good few people who do this but i hate it when people say 'im struggling' and decide to spend money on things like that.
Obv there are loads of mothers who smoke and struggle but they can cut down and find a medium where they have cigerettes and gas for instance..x

 

[jenny82]

My OH didn't want to watch this last night as the opening scene was enough to drive anyone loopy. I'm watching it on catchup this morning though. Grim grim grim grim grim. I don't know why I watch eastenders - its a horrible programme.

I'm aware that this does happen and its really sad. But playing it out in an over-exaggerated fashion in order to provide entertainment is just wrong (like most of eastender's storylines!)

 

[jogami]

I lived in England for 5 years and all I can say is that you can be very proud that your government actually gives a shit about mothers and babies! Here in SA it's very common that many mothers and their children go without. I get so angry as almost on every street corner here a mother is begging for money with signs and posters up and her child sitting by her! I get angry at the mother for bringing her child out in the scorching heat with no water even to drink for over 8 hours a day; and I get angry at our government for offering no support whatsoever. Women here have to have over 4 children to get a gov grant and it's a mere R250 (about 25 pounds a month). How are you supposed to feed, buy nappies, pay for daycare so you can work and clothe your child with that a month? I spend R900 (about 100 pounds) just on formula and diapers a month! Nevermind daycare and clothes. DH was at the shop the other day and a man came in looked sheepishly around and whispered to DH if he wouldn't mind buying a small tin of formula as his baby was hungry and the mother's milk had dried up due to not getting enough food in her belly. DH bought the man 3 big tins and some nappies. He almost cried with gratitude We recently gave a family we heard about some furniture as they were sitting on the floor and their 13, 7, 8 and 4 year old are not allowed to go to school due to them not being able to afford school fees! WTF? Education should be a right not a priveledge That's why we are moving back to Europe as soon as we can (definitely before LO starts school), as we want him to have a better quality of life. ETA: We don't lvie in the slums either, we live in a upper class area and this is all going on not too far from where we are. It's heartbreaking! Pfft! My little one does not have as much as some, but he has alot more than others and a warm bed and full belly every night!

 

[kerrie24]

DH was at the shop the other day and a man came in looked sheepishly around and whispered to DH if he wouldn't mind buying a small tin of formula as his baby was hungry and the mother's milk had dried up due to not getting enough food in her belly. DH bought the man 3 big tins and some nappies. He almost cried with gratitude

Thats so sad Well done to your oh for helping him out though.

 

[jellybean83]

DH was at the shop the other day and a man came in looked sheepishly around and whispered to DH if he wouldn't mind buying a small tin of formula as his baby was hungry and the mother's milk had dried up due to not getting enough food in her belly. DH bought the man 3 big tins and some nappies. He almost cried with gratitude

Thats so sad Well done to your oh for helping him out though.

What a Wonderful thing your husband did.....

 

[neadyda]

sorry i'm going back to the smoking part. i'm a smoker just cos i smoke dont mean that if i only had £5 left in my back pocket i would go out and buy cigarettes. if that was my last £5 it would go on either food for jamie if he had run out or gas/electric. thats a luxury to me. i dont go out getting drunk every week and i very very rarely buy clothes for myself. My son will always without a doubt come first. When we go shopping we go and buy all his stuff first and then work out how much we have left for ourselves.


sorry i had to get my say across

 

[special_kala]

I lived in England for 5 years and all I can say is that you can be very proud that your government actually gives a shit about mothers and babies! Here in SA it's very common that many mothers and their children go without. I get so angry as almost on every street corner here a mother is begging for money with signs and posters up and her child sitting by her! I get angry at the mother for bringing her child out in the scorching heat with no water even to drink for over 8 hours a day; and I get angry at our government for offering no support whatsoever. Women here have to have over 4 children to get a gov grant and it's a mere R250 (about 25 pounds a month). How are you supposed to feed, buy nappies, pay for daycare so you can work and clothe your child with that a month? I spend R900 (about 100 pounds) just on formula and diapers a month! Nevermind daycare and clothes. DH was at the shop the other day and a man came in looked sheepishly around and whispered to DH if he wouldn't mind buying a small tin of formula as his baby was hungry and the mother's milk had dried up due to not getting enough food in her belly. DH bought the man 3 big tins and some nappies. He almost cried with gratitude We recently gave a family we heard about some furniture as they were sitting on the floor and their 13, 7, 8 and 4 year old are not allowed to go to school due to them not being able to afford school fees! WTF? Education should be a right not a priveledge That's why we are moving back to Europe as soon as we can (definitely before LO starts school), as we want him to have a better quality of life. ETA: We don't lvie in the slums either, we live in a upper class area and this is all going on not too far from where we are. It's heartbreaking! Pfft! My little one does not have as much as some, but he has alot more than others and a warm bed and full belly every night!

That made me cry

I am very thankful that i live in the UK. Its not perfect but i dont think people realise that it could be so so much worse.

 

[bloodbinds]

I had a little cry watching eastenders last night! Wish i could talk to heather and try and help her out! Lol.


Sorry to drag this back up but...

I find it hard to believe. Single parents earn more than me and my husband! But I imagine it does happen to some people, possibly people who smoke and spend a lot of their money on cigarettes.

Single parents do not earn more than a full time working couple (if that is what you are)

I find it hard to believe. Single parents earn more than me and my husband! But I imagine it does happen to some people, possibly people who smoke and spend a lot of their money on cigarettes.

Bit of a sweeping statement there?

Believe it or not - not everyone is aware of what they are entitled to.

I cannot believe that many people aren't at all aware of the benefit system. Alright I'm sure that people who live on the streets probably aren't aware of the help they are entitled to, but Heather isn't one of those people.

When i first got pregnant I had a major panic over money when i realised i would physically not be able to afford to have a baby, as i had no idea that we got benefits at all I went straight from school to working to living my own flat and paying it all myself, never had a need for benefits, even when i was between jobs i never thought about claiming JSA as i never knew about it Luckily after having a breakdown my parents explained to me that i should be able to claim certain things - if I hadn't of had them, i wouldn't of had a clue!

My word, I only told you my opinion from personal experience. Heather infact probably isn't entitled to many benefits, child benefit and tax credits probably as she works two jobs. How can she possibly have no money?

My husband and me recently discovered that his ex gets over £1200 a month in benefits, surely that is enough to live on?

Easily, i earn £1400 in benefits and working part time, and my outgoings are £1375 a month
That's rent £625, countil tax £100, nursery £400 house bills £250 which are the necessery ones. So i have £25 to buy us food or petrol or phone, internet etc.

So basically, everything you've said is so very very wrong.

 

[ttc_lolly]

In this day & age it doesn't happen. Unless the parent is abusing their benefits and not spending it on what they should!! But being on JSA or IS you have the option to get crisis loans if you really have nothing, and if you have a minor that doesn't have food/milk/nappies or electricity/gas to they can't refuse you money, the just can't. The jobcentre then take out a £1 of our benefit off you a week to pay it back.

It can and does happen if people are not aware of what they are entitled to and that they can get crisis loans.

Hmmm those people would seriously have to have NO clue whatsoever, which would be worrying when they have a baby to look after OR too lazy to find out what's out there to help them.

The staff at jobcentre's, citizen advice bureau's etc are so very helpful and give info out at the drop of a hat (I know - I've been in the situation where I've had to find stuff out from them). I'm not saying people on benefits get bucket loads of money, but there's a LOT of help out there for them. Like I say, a crisis loan is really easy to obtain - even if it's just for £10 for a tin of formula, or £3 for some own brand nappies. I see so many people fiddling the crisis loan help system, as there's no way the advisor on the phone can tell what you do and don't have.

 

[someoldgirl]

Heather just made me bloody angry! Why do some people insist on being martyrs? Your baby needs food and electricity yet you give a begger on the tube your last £2? Get a grip woman!

aaaand breathe! ha

 

[Mummy to be x]

It's strange..People who smoke and say they have no money always say ' you will always find money for cigerettes '
I just wonder how??

That bugs me!! My mum is terrible for that...she struggles to buy food and stuff for my brother as she likes to go out on the piss all the time...and yet she ALWAYS has money for fags

Yes that is what I was saying. I was brought up on benefits and there were plenty of times when we had no gas. Yet my mum always, always had fags. And I'm sure she isn't the only one.

Hey Stacie how you doing hun xx