Hello

[Minxy_1]

Hello all,

I just thought I would introduce myself, My names Kate I live in hampshire and have just found out im about 6 weeks pregnant. I was happy untill I told my other half and now he has decided he doesnt want to have it. I'm lost as to what to do so was hoping I may get some advice on here!! thanks in advanced

Kate x

 

[weestar21]

Hi Kate and Welcome to BabyAndBump

xxxxx

 

[Minxy_1]

Thanks weestar21 x

 

[Layla]

HI minxy

Sorry to hear about what your going through, has your boyfriend told you his reasons why he doesnt want teh baby?

xx

 

[Wobbles]

Hi Kate

Welcome to BabyandBump x

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

To be honest you were happy about the pregnancy & should still continue to be so, maybe he just needs some time to come round to the idea it can be quite a shock when you weren't planning for that big news. I would follow your heart if you want this baby don't let anyone else convince you other wise.

What a horrible situation for you!

 

[Minxy_1]

I am 24 years old, I have been with my bf for 4 years and his reason for not wanting the baby is because we cant afford it, and he has an 8 year old daughter and said last time he went through it with no money it was horrible and they ended up splitting up, they hadn't been together 4 years when she fell pregnant more like months. I just think if I do what he wants we'll split up anyway as I will end up hating him for it. x

 

[Imi]

Welcome to BabyAndBump !

Sorry your having a bit of a time of it hun ...

Were all here to help and support one another and offer advice.

xxx

 

[Layla]

I am 24 years old, I have been with my bf for 4 years and his reason for not wanting the baby is because we cant afford it, and he has an 8 year old daughter and said last time he went through it with no money it was horrible and they ended up splitting up, they hadn't been together 4 years when she fell pregnant more like months. I just think if I do what he wants we'll split up anyway as I will end up hating him for it. x

sounds like you have already made your mind up then deep down, i think maybe its prob the shock of it, and if he had a bad expericance last time round then theat will stick out in his mind more.
4 years is a long time to throw a relationship away, give him a week or so to get over the shock and im pretty sure he will come round to the idea.
Money is always a problem for alot of people and they end up waiting for the 'right time' but there is never a right time to have a child were money is concerned, so if you feel you want this baby then go for it.

You will get alot of suport here and im sure your OH will soon see sence

xx

 

[Minxy_1]

Thanks, I know its a big shock, but I still can't believe he's being the way he is, 4 years is a long time and he's just acting like im being totally unreasonable wanting this baby! arghhhhhh we're having another chat tonight so we'll see how that goes. xxxxxxx

 

[Layla]

best of luck

xx

 

[Wobbles]

I agree with what Layla said too.

Money is always a worry when the family extends I hope things work out for the best ... for you both.

Hope to see you around along your journey Kate

Have a happy & healthy pregnancy & congratulations btw

 

[Jo]

Hi Kate, Welcome to Baby and Bump
So sorry for what you are going through right now, but gotta agree with Layla, There never seems to be a 'right time' moneywise(except for the Beckhams etc... LOL)

You will get loads of support here and there is always someone about for you to have a chat, rant or moan to

Good luck with your chat with BF tonight
x

 

[Tam]

Hello

Welcome to the forum hun!

I agree too, there never is a right time with money, but you do cope! x

 

[Wobbles]

Oh hi Tam - Welcome to BabyandBump!!!



Sorry for small hi-jack of your thread Kate ....

 

[Suz]

Hi Kate! Welcome to BnB

Im so sorry that your OH is not wanting a baby. I really hope that your chat goes better tonight. Always remember that when there is a will, there is a way. If you want your baby, then you will find a way to make it all work out. Just hope he comes around to the idea.

Best of Luck
xxx Suz xxx

 

[Minxy_1]

Sorry had to do some work, thanks for all your kind words, I know your right and i said to him we will never have the money for a baby if we wait! i'll see how it goes tonight, its nice to know I can come here. I feel better about it already just knowing i can talk to you all. xx katy xx

 

[Cat]

Hi and welcome, hope your chat tonight goes well, Im sure its just shock, as you say especially as he had a bad experience in the past. No one is ever financially ready to have a baby, but its never as bad as you think. Perhaps you could look into exactly what support is avalible to you and this might ease his fears a little. For example if your working see what sort of maternety pay your company ofer, some pay you at full rate, also maternety pay is now for 9 months not 6, and depending on your income you get help with the cost of childcare. Their are online calculators with the the inland rev which will show how much benefit and tax credit you can get. And never pay attention to these statistics about how expensive it is to have a baby, cause if you actaully read the breakdown it normally includes loads of pointless expensive stuff which you never actaully use!

Anyway Im waffling, good luck and congratulations hun!

 

[Caroline]

Welcome to BnB. Hope the chat goes well. As the others have said there is never a right time financially for a baby. Cats advice is good you will get tax credit/working tax credit depending on income. You will also get child benefit but can't for the life of me remember how much for one child i think its around the £60 a month mark. You may also be entitled to maternity grant of £500

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

 

[stephlw25]

Hi welcome to the forum, sorry to hear about your situation, i hope things get sorte for you soon . I agree with Layla, im sure its just the shock of it all, give it a few weeks and see how he feels xx

 

[Iwantone!!!]

hello welcome to bnb how did u get on?