Hello

[Laura80]

I've just found this section of the forum, I didn't even realise it was here but I'm so glad it is. I feel so guilty and there is absolutely no one I can talk to about it.

Anyway, I already have a daughter, she is almost 2 and she is my entire world, my perfect little princess and I love being able to do girly things with her, play dolls, buy pink frilly dresses etc. We planned another baby and were lucky to get pregnant in our first month of trying. I was really hoping for another girl, I want my daughter to have a sister who she can play dolls and tea parties with, I wanted them to grow up as best friends and be able to talk about boyfriends/crushes etc. I've had a really strong instinct that I'm having a boy, although I've ignored it. But at my 20 week scan this week I could see the boy parts before the ultrasound woman pointed them out. There is absolutely no mistaking he is a boy, and the woman said she is 100% certain. My husband is over the moon, he cried with happiness, but I had to fake a smile and pretend to agree that is brilliant news. Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to see a beautiful, healthy, happy baby on the scan. I do love him and I love to feel him wriggle around inside my belly. But I can't get over this crushing disappointment that I'm not having a girl. Everyone keeps telling me that it's fantastic, now I have one of each. But I'm online looking at baby clothes and crying because I don't like any boys clothes and I have to pass by all the beautiful pink newborn outfits. What do I buy him for his birthday? I don't know how to play with cars or dinosaurs and I don't like football or boy things. And what when he's a smelly teenager who does unmentionable things in his bedroom?

I'm sorry for the long post, I just needed to get it off my chest, I can tell nobody how I'm feeling. My husband has asked am I disappointed but I lied and said no, how can I tell him all this when he is so estatic? He already suspects I feel differently and he's worried I will have a favourite child. I worry about that too. I've already told him he can take the boy out alone, whereas I do not let my daughter out of my sight at all.

Will I get over this? Surely when he is born and I see him for the first time I will love him as much as my daughter?

 

[skunkpixie]

Hey there!

Im a proud mummy to 2 girls and pregnant with our 3rd and final baby. Most people would think that I would be desperate to have a boy. My husband is, but I would really love to have all girls. To have 3 daughters would be such an honor and I cant lie it's a dream of mine. As my hubby really wanted a boy I said it was only fair that we used the Shettles method of conceiving a boy while TTC. We did and got pregnant in the first month. As the days of my pregnancy have gone by I have become more and more anxoius about the baby's gender. We cant find out for a good few weeks yet but Im sooooo hoping the baby is a girl. I wouldnt say my feelings have stretched so far that I would be "dissapointed" if its a boy. Its not that I dont want a boy, its just that I really want a girl if that makes sense?

I know that you will love your son as much as your daughter, like I know that if we are having a boy I will love him just as much as my girls when he arrives xxxx

 

[BlueHadeda]

I know exactly how you feel! My first was a boy, but fortunately my 2nd a girl. I've always wanted a little girl. With my 3rd, I really wanted another little girl, for exactly the same reasons as you. But, alas, it turned out to be a boy. (I'm pregnant with my 4th now. We're on team yellow, but I suspect it's another boy. Though, I desperately wants another girl.)

Boys aren't so bad. Yes, they're all trucks and dinosaurs and testorone and think farting is funny and that girls are stupid, and they try to always be the best and strongest and fastest. But, they're also incredibly gentle with me, their mother, they love me just as much as my daughter does. They're loving and sweet and innocent just like my daughter. They're compassionate and kind to other people, they're curious and clever and inquisitive. They're just as well mannered as my daughter, and even behaves better than she does! They mind me more, they listen more, they're attentive and they're hard workers. Yes, they sometimes have dirty fingernails and yes I sometimes find it easier to play Barbie with my daughter than marbles with my son, but somehow they lead you and you find it fun as well! And buying gifts and clothes...well, I find it much easier buying for the boys than for my daughter, to be honest! They're so straightforward and easy in what they like and don't like. My daughter is complex. Not easy to please or easy to read.

You'll be fine with a little boy! And your daughter is going to love him to bits, no matter if he's a sister or a brother. My daughter absolutely adores her baby brother, and idolises her older brother. I'm grateful that there's 2 brothers that's going to look out for her when they're adults and I can't anymore.

 

[Laura80]

Thank you. I feel so much better after writing down my thoughts and getting them out there. I went shopping today and bought a few blue bits and pieces and that made me happy. I do love my son and I'm so grateful to have 2 healthy happy children.

 

[MeAndMyShadow]

Honey, boys are fantastic. They will surprise you with their sweetness, and curiousity Sure they are mischevious, but are so much fun xx

 

[Mummy2B21]

Yes you will hun soon as you meet him and get to know his little personality you will love him soo much.
Boys are so wonderful they are cheeky, fun and very affectionate towards there mummy, he will be protective of you, boys love there mums and are said to be more affectionate than girls, he will put so many smiles on your face.
Try to relax and think of the positives x

 

[Mummyemmy09]

Hi, I could've written your post. I had all the exact feelings/thoughts when I was pg, I wanted another princess. All I thought about was how cute it would be to dress them in the same outfits and play tea parties with them. I had 2 sisters and loved growing up with them. Its the reason I wanted another baby. So I know what you're going through, i did start feeling better about having a son before he was born but unfortunately he is 3 months old now and I am having difficulty bonding, I think the gd has a role in that.

It was and still is difficult for me to look at baby girls clothes, every time I did it was like a stab in the heart. Sounds dramatic but before I found out what we were expecting I didn't even bother looking at the boys clothes because I knew what I wanted to buy from the girls section. I try not to look at the girls clothes anymore as every time I do, it brings back the gd a little bit more. I feel so guilty though at times because my ds didn't ask to be born, it's not his fault he's a boy. It will get better but in my experience the gd hasn't gone away completely.

if you ever want to chat...

X

 

[Laura80]

I know exactly what you mean about girls clothes, I can't look at them without wanting to cry. All the shops have so many beautiful pink outfits, I have trouble finding nice blue ones. And I have so many of my DDs old clothes that need sorted out, I was waiting to see if I would need them again. It breaks my heart to give them away or throw them out.

A lot of my GD has gone away, I love my son and I am excited about meeting him, but I think I'll always want another little girl. Though I worry about trying again and having GD again.