HELP!!!! Am i doing something wrong??

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by danni1979, Dec 26, 2009.

  1. danni1979

    danni1979 Well-Known Member

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    Ok i posted a while ago about y LO sleeping through last night in her car seat,well tonight its proved that it was a 1 off fluke,so i'm back to square 1 and i am seriously strating to feel like a failure:cry:

    I am really not sure if i am doing something wrong,its all around sleep problems really

    She doesnt nap during the day,well only for like 20-40 mins and ONLY on me or my oh
    She doesnt stay asleep at night,its horrendous tbh i am starting to dread bed time
    I put her down around 830is and she goes to sleep around 11 ish

    maybe if i tell you a basic day you may spot something i'm doing wrong,oh she also has silet reflux so had gaviscon before a feed,she is bf so feeds on demand

    830-9am wakes up,feed,change her nappy,i try desperatly to get more sleep,doesnt work so we lay in bed watching tv,she ay doze off for another half hour
    10-11 am drag my arse outta bed
    and for the rest of the day i try to do housework,sing to her,play with her,put her in her swingetc
    5-6pm our dinner,try and get her down anywhere,swing generally ,and hope upon all hopes she'll sleep so we can eat a hot meal lol
    830-9pm put her in her sleep gear,put her in moses basket,turn lights off,i try to stay in there with her but cant all the time,put tv on silent,she just cries otherwise
    11pm ish she goes to sleep
    1130-12 am i try to give her a dream feed and i try to go to sleep
    2-3 am shes back awake again for a quick feed
    5-6 a shes awake again
    then we're back round to 830am again

    so i'm not getting uch sleep,some nights are worse then others,but surely she should be able to sleep longer now!!
    Is she overtired? Over stimulated? maybe i have a baby who just doesnt sleep much?should i try to do a rigid routine? should i just keep putting her down?
    I mean HV and everyone says give her a bottle of formula to make her sleep more but she just WONT have more then 2oz of it!! Once she hist 2oz she just cries,but i tried again tonight and after th 2oz i put her on the boob and she had more bm?? wtf!!

    HELP!!!! :shrug:
     
  2. passengerrach

    passengerrach mummy to kai

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    some baby's just dont sleep through my son is 9 months old and still wakes for bottles twice a night one at 12 and one at 4. and maybe you could try getting up when she wakes in the morning rather than staying in bed and she will learn the difference between day and night a bit better and maybe she will go to sleep a bit earlier at night if you get what i mean. and as for the routine its really up to you if ou want a strict routine or not some people do some people dont personally i let my son set his own routine and we have pretty much followed that
     
  3. Ma petite

    Ma petite Jes, Mommy to Eli

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    I would agree about getting up in the AM instead of trying to encourage more sleep. Also, she's only waking up twice which is completely normal for her age. Don't be discouraged...it will get easier in only a short while.

    My ped would say that after about 3 months night feeds are not necessarily "needed". Who knows what is true. I did 3 nights of rocking through night feeds instead of feeding unless he was really upset and after those 3 nights he decided he didn't need those night feeds. Every now and again he'll wake up around 4:30 and want a bottle but it's rare.
     
  4. danni1979

    danni1979 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for that hun,i have tried getting up when she wakes,but she would go back to sleep and i'd be sat there knackered with her sleeping soundly,lol,may be time to try it again though :D
    Isnt mummyhood hard eh!!
    I've been waiting for her to set her own routine cos thats the way i wanted to do it,but her only bit of routine shes set is going to sleep about 11ish lol bless her
    2 times a night is a good night for her lol but is that really normal?? Its genereally anytime between 2 and 4 times.
    Honestly most people i know give me the whole "oh my baby was sleeping through at 2 days old kinda thing" n look horrified when i say how many times a night i was up
    xx xx
     
  5. babybaillie

    babybaillie Well-Known Member

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    I wouldnt bother waking her at 11.30 if shes only going to sleep at 11. cant u feed her at say 10.30 while shes still awake then put her back down?

    my DD was a terrible sleeper and my OH gave her a bottle feed last thing at nite, say 12ish. i went to bed around 9 and then i breastfed her during the nite. but she didnt slep through til 9 minths.

    my ds was bottlefed and slept through the nite from day 1.
     
  6. passengerrach

    passengerrach mummy to kai

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    yes its completey normal hun those with babies sleeping through are so lucky iv tried everything with my son but he will not go without those feeds its a nightmare but im used to it now lol. try to keep her awake a bit longer in the mornings if you can. hopefully she will sleep through for you one day unlike my son lol
     
  7. danni1979

    danni1979 Well-Known Member

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    THANKYOU THANKYOU I honestly have been thinking that im doing something wrong and that i was a failure :hugs:
    I REALLY REALLY hope your LO starts sleeping through soon for you,its like a form of tortue isnt it,lol
    xx xx
     
  8. passengerrach

    passengerrach mummy to kai

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    aww your not a failure at all if you ever need anyone to talk to about it feel free to message me i wont be able to help lol but its the absoute worst feeling when everyone else's babies are sleeping through and it feels like your the only one! and yes it is like a form of torture lol you have to run on auto pilot
     
  9. nikkip19

    nikkip19 expecting #1 :)

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    luca has silent reflux as well. hes 6 mths old and he have gotten it under control. in my opinion thats your girls problem. we went through weeks of that before we gave up and resorted to him sleeping upright on my hubbys chest. it was a last resort.. but keeps him comfy and we all get sleep! he now sleeps from 830 pm till 730 am straight through. doc told us do what we have to do to make us all comfy... that was it :) also is she on any meds?
     
  10. danni1979

    danni1979 Well-Known Member

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    Yeh shes on gaviscon,seems to be helping,well its def helping with the feeding anyway which is good :D
    We have tilted her moses basket but she ends up scrunched up at the foot of it which cant be good for her so i only have 1 book under it,but not sure if it enough?
    xx xx
     
  11. CatStorey

    CatStorey Mum to Chloe and Tom :)

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    Oh hun, sounds like me and my lo!!

    She has silent reflux too. She has it quite severly, we are currently on renitidine and losec tabs and are being seen by a pedeatrition(sp) in the new year. It's awfull and I am sure has a factor in chloe waking alot. She doesn't manage much milk before she is screaming with pain so is never really full enough to sleep for a long period.
    Chloe will not go to sleep before around 10/10.30pm. Late evening is her play time and I stopped trying to force her to go to sleep earlier weeks ago! It was causing too much upset I just go with the flo now and let her come to sleep when I go up.
    I wouldn't worry about her waking in the night still, the ladys whose lo's do sleep through are very very lucky!!! Chloe still wakes about 3 times during the night and wakes up for the day around 8am. If I try and keep her in bed she will just cry so I bring her upstairs to the living room and she's happy. More often than not she will go back to sleep so I just let her nap in her bouncer and I will either lay down on the sofa or get stuff done (or watch Jeremy Kyle!!). I too would suggest getting lo up in the morning so they learn night and day.
    I don't have a routine and at the moment don't want one. You just need to do what feels right for you. But honestly don't stress about lo waking twice a night....totally normal :)
     
  12. beancounter

    beancounter Well-Known Member

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    Finn still wakes once too, or twice when he's teething, Try not to get obsessed with sleeping through, and don't let her sleep all night in a car seat, it's not what they are designed for and babies have died that way.
     
  13. petal040

    petal040 Guest

    Don't feel like a failure - you're not :)

    I agree that letting LO sleep in the car seat overnight isn't safe - I don't let my LO nap in hers either (unless I am driving obviously - but I mean, when I take her out the car, if she's alseep I take her out the car seat rather than let her stay in)... but I'm paranoid haha...

    My LO used to nap wonderfully during the day but now she's like yours and only goes down for 20-30 minutes at a time... I think it's because she is more alert now... is your LO becoming overtired or does she seem okay with the shorter naps?

    At night... where do you put her down? If it's in the room you are in, maybe there is too much stimulation (e.g. she wants to be up with mummy?)... if it's in another room, maybe she does not want to be alone?

    Is she tired when you put her down? Does she stay completely awake from 830 until 11ish? Does she feed a lot in the evenings? Is it possible that she just isn't tired at that time?

    I agree it would be good if you could get up and out of the bedroom once she wakes in the morning. Could you put her down to play while you rest maybe on the sofa downstairs or something?

    Are you getting out during the day for some fresh air and a change of scenery?

    According to what you have written, she is waking twice between 11ish and 8.30ish - which I would have thought is totally normal... good even...

    Personally I don't dreamfeed. It makes no difference to how my LO sleeps. I also bf - I managed to get my LO to take a full bottle of formula once and it made no difference to how she slept either. Bf babies can sleep through - some don't though, and that's fine - different babies have different needs. Babies do most of their learning when they are asleep, and all that learning uses up a lot of calories! There is nothing at all wrong with waking for feeds at such a young age :)

    Does your LO settle back to sleep easily after she has had her feeds?

    Have you considered co-sleeping?

    It's disappointing that your HV led you to believe formula would help. I thought it would help me too and my LO wouldn't take the bottle - the belief that things would be so much better if she did made it even more frustrating and upsetting - and now I know that that was bad and inaccurate advice. There are some situations where formula can help, but those are specific and from what you have written, I don't think it would necessarily help you and your LO's sleeping pattern. Don't force the bottle if it is upsetting both of you. It could be a lot of stress for no real gain, if that makes sense.

    Sorry for all the questions! Hope that helps a little!?!

    Hugs :hugs::hugs:
     
  14. Lucy_lu_84

    Lucy_lu_84 Pregnant with #2

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    Aww *hugs*

    try not to get too hung up about sleeping thru - my LO is 6 months and still wakes once a night for a bottle, and at random other times to. it took me a while to accept it but now I have come to terms with the fact that I just don't have a baby that sleeps through.

    And once a night i can cope with ... he used to wake every 2 hours for feeds until he was 4 and a half months!

    he only naps twice a day for 20mins to!

    Co-sleeping worked for us, meant we both got back to sleep faster as we would lie down to feed and then just fall alseep where we were once he was finished. Sometimes I would even fall back to sleep as he was feeding
     
  15. mum2bee

    mum2bee mother of 1

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    you'll soon be looking back thinking god how did i get through it! it will pass eventuly!
     
  16. JShaw

    JShaw Well-Known Member

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    My LO wakes 2-4 times per night still too and he's bf. We co-sleep and get a much better sleep that way. I also fall asleep before he finishes with a boob feed in the night, so it barely feels like we're up at all.

    My daytime routine looks much like yours, except LO wakes up anywhere from 8-9am and is only up for an hour, then has his first nap for an hour. He usually repeats this one more time, then he up much longer thru the day. During one of his morning naps I sometimes bring him back to bed with me and we both take a nap. It really helps me recharge to make it thru the day.
     

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