Help before I loose my mind

[Mummy of Ange]

I'm at my witts end and at the point of desperation.

Lillie is 10 weeks old on Friday and is our 3rd girl. For the past 3 weeks her daytime sleeping has been horrendous. She can literally spend the entire day crying because she is overtired. I get her to sleep either in her crib, in the pram or in my arms (very rare), but she literally has 20 minutes then she's wide awake again screaming. This cycle goes on all day.

I Can spend upto 3 hours getting her to sleep for her to drift in and out of sleep.

It's affecting our family life massively. I've never any time for our other girls 6 and 4, I'm snappy with them because I'm exhausted. My partner gets home from work and we end up arguing.

I took her to the doctors last week and they said there was nothing wrong with her.

I've used white noise on my phone, bought a hummy bear that plays white noise, I've walked for miles and miles, I've gone out in the car, bought her a dummy, changed her milk. I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm at the point where I am in tears daily, I can't go out because everybody is looking at me, I walk my other 2 to school and she screams there and back. She's got serious red eye because she's just so tired.

I've even had to leave her crying in a room whilst I walk away cos I'm exhausted.

Anybody any advice or tips cos I've seriously done everything x

 

[whatwillbex]

This is what my son has been like since day one. It’s such a vicious cycle, they cry because they are tired then they are over tired so they cry then when he does sleep it’s for 30 mins max and he wakes up crying because it’s not long enough.
I’ve put it down to possible reflux, teething, the heatwave etc. A combination. I’ve been trying to get him into a routine from the start but it’s hard to do this and see the wood for the trees when you are all tired. The days roll into nights.

I totally sympathise with you. Hope it’s gets better for you soon xx

 

[noon_child]

My daughter did the same. I think it was a combination of wind, eczema and genetics. It did get better but I don't think there was one thing I did differently. Do you have any family you could go to stay with or could come stay with you to give you a break?

Is silent reflux a possibility? My doctor gave my baby medication for reflux just in case to see if it made a difference. It's worth going back and telling them how miserable and desperate you are and ask if silent reflux is a possibility.

 

[superfrizbee]

I don't have time to reply in length, but try an easy cosy sling like a caboo close carrier. God send! My kids have had many hours of naps in mind and they were terrible sleepers too.

 

[yazzy]

Do you use a carrier/sling? My LG is 7 weeks old and occasionally has a sleep for a couple hours in her Moses basket or pram but generally she sleeps best when in her carrier and I'm wearing her. I'm just going with that for now and letting her snuggle as much as she needs. Also with a carrier you get both your hands back!

 

[Mummy of Ange]

Thanks for the replies. A sling/carrier is the only thing I haven't tried.

Today I've been trying to get her asleep for 3 hours now and she's had 3, 15 minute naps. She's constantly crying with tiredness

 

[noon_child]

Thanks for the replies. A sling/carrier is the only thing I haven't tried.

Today I've been trying to get her asleep for 3 hours now and she's had 3, 15 minute naps. She's constantly crying with tiredness

One 15 minute nap approx every hour could actually be OK for a baby so young (20 minute naps is what I was told to expect during those first few months). If she's waking up screaming even though she is getting some sleep, it might be worth taking her back to the doctor as it could be she is in pain (although doctors may not have much for the most common types of baby pain - wind, milk intolerance, reflux etc.)

However my daughter never woke up content even when she had longer naps (from about 1year onwards) - she still woke crying. I think she just didn't like being alone and wanted me there straight away.

I too found a wrap to be useful from about 4months onwards as I could extend her naps (when I could get her to have them) from about 20-30 minutes to about 50minutes by rocking and jiggling as soon as she started to stir. Still could only get this to happen ONCE per day but it was an improvement!!! Not sure I could have done this at 10 weeks as baby sleep cycles are shorter then.

Never did get to do that "Sleep when they sleep" thing, and when people say it I cry with laughter (you know, in that "I want to stab you in the eyes" kind of crying with laughter).

If you like reading, you may find the stuff on the Infant Sleep Information Source useful https://www.isisonline.org.uk
It will allow you to see what parts of your daughters sleep behaviour can be seen as "normal" (so no need to stress too much and obsess over trying to force something unnatural) and what may be an issue that needs sorting, like pain.

 

[annio84]

my little ted just doesn't do daytime sleeps and the slings really do save my sanity. Hope it settles down soon.

 

[Wicky78]

Not sure if you're still having trouble or if the suggestions already given helped you sort it out. In any case, I figured I'd chime in. Our baby does the same thing as yours, but not every day. We found that swaddling her tightly (arms in) helps her settle and stay asleep better. Not sure if you've tried that already, but I hope you find (or have already found) something that works!