Help! Bit traumatized and scared by experience

[grumpymoo]

Dear all

I hope you dont mind me posting this only I feel I need to be in contact with some like minded people at the moment.

I brought my daughter home from hospital last week. She was born 3 weeks ago at 33+2 and went through NICU, HD and SCBU at a fast pace. She is doing ever so well.

The only thing is that while we were going through all that with her ( I had to have an emergency c-sect also) I seemed to cope really well. The thing that was the hardest was leaving her on a night once I had been discharged. Now we are home I feel a bit traumatized by what has happened and scared because after having all that fantasic care on hand all we have now is the GP and health visitor. I am ever so tearful but happy as well!

Does anyone know what i mean or felt something similar?

 

[polo_princess]

Sorry no advice hun but hopefully one of the other preemie mummies may have some advice.

Hope your ok

 

[Bec L]

Yes, definitely know how you feel and I know there are lots of other mums on here who can also empathise with you. Brilliant news that your LO is doing so well but it is not suprising that it has taken a lot out of you.

I was the same when I was discharged from hospital and Poppy was kept in. I sort of just dealt with it (even though all my family was furious and thought it was cruel that we had to be apart) but as time has gone on I have realised what a trauma it was and since she came home I have found it very difficult to leave Poppy (which would not be a problem were it that I didn't have to go back to work)

I have recenly had some PND counselling which has helped a little, and if nothing else made me realise that I DO have issues surrounding her premature birth that I need to come to terms with.

As far as having less support now you're home, you will probably soon be wishing they'd just leave you to it as I am sure you are a fantastic mummy and can look after your LO just great

Feel free to PM me if you want to 'chat.'

 

[grumpymoo]

Yes, definitely know how you feel and I know there are lots of other mums on here who can also empathise with you. Brilliant news that your LO is doing so well but it is not suprising that it has taken a lot out of you.

I was the same when I was discharged from hospital and Poppy was kept in. I sort of just dealt with it (even though all my family was furious and thought it was cruel that we had to be apart) but as time has gone on I have realised what a trauma it was and since she came home I have found it very difficult to leave Poppy (which would not be a problem were it that I didn't have to go back to work)

I have recenly had some PND counselling which has helped a little, and if nothing else made me realise that I DO have issues surrounding her premature birth that I need to come to terms with.



As far as having less support now you're home, you will probably soon be wishing they'd just leave you to it as I am sure you are a fantastic mummy and can look after your LO just great

Feel free to PM me if you want to 'chat.'

Thank you so much. I may well do that.

It all comes as such a shock doesn't it! I had no idea it would hit me so bad once I was home with her. I thought I was dealing with it fine up till then. I feel like I have lots of things to get over, one being I should still be pregnant for another 4 weeks now. Thats a really strange one and so silly to think about!! The others are obvious and far more important and I guess most of us go through it.

Thanks again

 

[MUMOF5]

I symathise with you. Leaving Evie in hospital was the worst thing Ive experienced, I felt so empty coming home without her. Although I felt ok when she came home (in fact I was on the biggest high for weeks), I can understand how you could feel the opposite. Are there people around that you can talk to? It may help for you to have a counselling session. My friend had a particularly difficult birth, and actually suffered a mild form of post traumatic stress disorder. After having a councelling session and a meeting with a midwife she felt able to get things straight in her head and 'deal' with the issues. Hope you feel better. Congrats on getting your l/o home. xxx

 

[Mumof42009]

Hi Hun

Ive had 3 premmies and leaving them in hospital is the hardest thing ever, my 1st was only in just over 2 weeks, 2nd was in over 2 months and 3rd in for 4 weeks. No one knows how it affects you until theyve been there on the journey in nicu and it does emotionally drains you. After my last dd i developed pnd i think this was down to being miles away from home even though i got to see my baby when i wanted i never had my other kids around me or they couldnt visit as my oh couldnt drive then, she was then transferred nearer home where she was for another 2 weeks. Have you been on the bliss website? there maybe a support group in your area maybe that would help. Also speak to someone at the hospital the way you are feeling xx

 

[Foogirl]

I haven't experienced this, although I can understand how it would be possible. Our stories sound similar, although Abby was 29 weeks when she was born, to be honest I have been waiting for it to kick in but 15 weeks later it never did.

I will, however, agree about the shocking care we come out to. Our NNICU has an outreach team so we've been lucky but GP and Health Visitor have been shit. Add to that, we had an appointment with a consultant who left Abby on the scales and she banged her head.....

After care is not good at all.

 

[grumpymoo]

Thanks everyone

Is just good to know I am not alone in all this. I think I will contact Bliss and also I have a number to call to try and see a consultant to find out why what happened did happen which is another thing that I can't get my head round.

We did have one visit from the outreach team and she did say to call anytime but we have been discharged from them so it feels a bit strange.

Obviously having no sleep makes everything seem 10 times worse and what I should be feeling is purely how lucky I am to have my little baby, and I do feel blessed but its never that simple is it!

 

[embojet]

It sounds like you are doing really well. I often feel like HV etc have no idea about preemies, and mine is really patronising. It is a big shock to the system bringing them home. At hospital all the decisions are made for you, and then suddenly you are in charge. I dont know what I would do without BnB.

 

[Cazzyg]

I think I know how you feel. My LO wasn't really prem but spent time in NNICU with breathing problems.

I was terrified when we got home in case anything happened and we missed it. We used to count her resp rate and had the number for the hosp right next to the phone. There was also a bit of shock as I should still have been pregnant.

It takes time, but you will get used to it. I think I'm now getting to come to terms with it all and C is nearly 9 months

 

[Cazzyg]

I think I know how you feel. My LO wasn't really prem but spent time in NNICU with breathing problems.

I was terrified when we got home in case anything happened and we missed it. We used to count her resp rate and had the number for the hosp right next to the phone. There was also a bit of shock as I should still have been pregnant.

It takes time, but you will get used to it. I think I'm now getting to come to terms with it all and C is nearly 9 months